We Are Who We Choose To Be – A Poem

When I walked

into the club,

all I saw

was smoke. It

twisted in the

air around me

like wishes released

on a sigh,

taking form only

when it left

the person’s lips.

The majority of

the smoke came

from two women

sitting at a

wooden table lit

by a candle

stuck inside of

a wine bottle.

The candle spluttered

and shook when

the women blew

out their smoke

wishes. One of

them turned to

me and waved

her hand through

the fog of

wishes not spoken.

Honey, what you doing all alone?

You look a little lost. Come and sit with us.

We won’t bite unless you ask us to.

I nodded and

took a seat.

She had blond

hair, the other

had black and

both wore it

in tight ringlet’s.

Look, Anna, he’s blushing!

Oh, I haven’t seen a man sensible enough to blush in years.

Don’t be shy honey. Here, have a glass of spirits.

If it’s called spirits, it must be good for the spirit, right?

I nodded again

and took the

glass that was

offered to me.

The liquid inside

was clear and

I wondered what

it was. I took

a sip and

my throat started

burning immediately. I

started to cough

and shake. The

blond haired one

patted my hand.

Oh sugar, this your first time

with a drink? Here, try a cigarette

instead. It’s an easier vice.

I took one

and she leaned

forward to light

it for me.

In the brilliance

of the flame

I saw what

I didn’t before.

Are you a man?

I asked, not

thinking before I

spoke. She looked

at me with

a smile on

her round face.

Oh honey, don’t you wish.

I may have a dick, but I’m

all woman. Don’t you forget it!

Anna, don’t scare the poor boy, he doesn’t

know where he is and he doesn’t need

you frightening him.

Well, Gaia, the boy has to know.

He has to understand. He has

to comprehend whey we are

the way we are.

I took another

drag off of

the cigarette and

let my wishes

join the others

in the air.

What do I have to understand?

Well sugar, it’s like this. We may have

been born as men, but we’re woman,

though and through. It’s as simple

as that.

I shook my

head and the

room wavered. I

took another sip

of spirit juice,

another drag of

wishes. The black

haired one, Gaia,

smiled at me.

Anna forgets that it’s not so simple.

It takes people a long time to learn

this, but I’m going to tell you for free.

This is important. You may not speak easy,

but you listen well. So are you listening?

I nodded and took

more wishes into

my lungs. I

imagined it filling

me with light.

What you have to remember

is this: we are who we choose to be.

You want to be a writer?

Be a writer. You want to be fabulous,

be fabulous. You got it?

I nodded, but

something nagged at

me. I took

another drag off

my wish stick.

It can’t be that simple. You can’t just choose to be who you want to be.

Anna laughed and

patted my hand

again. She cackled

like she’d never

heard anything funnier.

Of course it is honey! You are

the only one standing in your own

way. Your whole life is out there,

waiting to be lived. So give yourself

a kick in the ass to get out of your

own way and live it. Now

make a wish.

I stared at

them, their kind

faces, the make-up

starting to slide

off their skin

from the heat

in the bar.

It was their

light I saw,

shining from within.

I took another

drag off my

cigarette and let

the smoke flow

from my mouth

to join the

cloud that hung

above us. My

wish was made.

I already knew

who I would

choose to be.

I just had

to get out

of my way

and live the

dream worth living.