Number-one bestselling author
I find myself back
at the edge
of the forest.
After taking only a few steps
past the line of trunks
who bend toward me as if
welcoming me home
do I realize that
this is not my forest.
The trees are fresh and new
and there is no blood dripping
from the leaves.
I can see the multi-coloured
jade and emerald of the leaves
and it brings me hope
as I walk deeper
into the forest.
I find you
at the end of a pathway,
looking into the shadows
of the trees.
You look at me and take my hand.
I hold on to you,
hoping that I can keep you from harm,
but I know that it
has already happened.
You would not be here
if you were fine.
As you look into the shadows,
becoming acquainted with
what lays inside of you,
I silently promise
that I will pay the blood toll
when the leaves come to collect.
I will hold out my arms
when the trees
come to wrap their vines around you.
I will pull you from the sludge
when the mudslides try to cover your body
so that you cannot breathe.
I’ve lived in the forest for so long now,
but this is your first time.
I hold onto your hand
and I promise to
keep you
safe.
*For Christine
You are made of light.
It shines outward
and I know that it emanates
from your spirit.
You are the stars given shape,
Spirit given form.
Ove the years that I’ve known you,
I’ve watched as your wings started to grow,
hesitantly at first, one feather at a time,
testing the air that would support them.
As I looked at you today,
your life about to change
with a new journey ahead of you,
I could see your wings
out of the corner of my eyes.
Gone were the little wings
that used to flutter
at your shoulder blades.
Now, your wings are now full grown,
made of the whitest feathers
tinted with the lightest hue of blue,
the colour of wisdom, intelligence and prosperity.
I know you are ready for the moment
when you take that leap
because your wings will hold you
as you find your way to flight.
I will be able to look up
and see you, filling the sky
with stars, light and wisdom
and everything that wishes
are made of when they
come true.
I’m going through
the photo album
contained in my mind.
I come across photos
I’ve held onto,
ones that show me
from a past long ago.
In the pictures,
I look uncomfortable
in the body that
I’m expected to inhabit,
one that came with expectations
of who I was
and what I was
supposed to be.
Even though I left home
so many years ago,
I’ve carried these scant memories,
wanting some kind of talisman
or touchstone to remind me
of where I came from.
Looking at the photos,
at my face and body language,
I see the shame that I carried with me,
so desperate I was
to fit in,
to hide,
to not be seen.
It was easier that way.
I left when I realized
that was the easier option
rather than sacrifice myself.
I take out the handful of photos
that I’ve kept,
and I flip through them.
In each successive picture,
my image becomes more
and more transparent.
In the last photo,
I am not even there.
In my mind,
I hold the photos
and my hands grow hot.
The fire I have created
engulfs the photos in a flame
that burns so brightly
until there is only smoke.
I take a deep breath in.
When I let my breath flow out
past my lips,
I let the smoke
float into the sky
and say goodbye
to the me that
I used to know
because I’m finally able
to let go.
I’ve been a long-time fan of The Esotoracle magazine.
Published in the United Kingdom, it is a wealth of information on Tarot, different decks, ways to read oracle cards and anything under the sun having to do with spirituality and divination. I’ve loved diving into each issue and learning something more about myself and my journey with spirituality.
I’m honoured to have an article that I wrote about my novel Queen of Swords included in the newest issue! When I was asked to submit something, I was overjoyed. I’ve loved The Esotoracle since it’s inception and I’m so excited to have my article in the newest issue.
When you read my article, you learn a little bit more about how I went about writing a book that was based on the Major Arcana and how I chose the direction of the story in Queen of Swords, much like I would draw a card from a Tarot deck.
Enjoy!
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