I am at Sea – A Poem

I am adrift on the water

and I try to find me

inside my body,

but I’m no longer certain

that the barriers it held

have stayed in place.

My mind is at sea

in the landscape of myself and

I don’t know how

to call it home.

My spirit is eternal.

It ventures forth,

even when my physical and mental

parts of me

are unsure of themselves.

It shines like a beacon

amidst the dark

so that I can find who I am.

I have ventured deep

into the mountains of my mind and

I have found that piece,

that small speck no bigger

than a grain of sand,

that holds the purest form of me.

I have brought it home

to the shell of me so that it can shine.

I hold it in the palm of my hands,

no bigger than a hope or a prayer.

Looking at its brilliance,

I try to breathe that shine in

so that I can see through

the dark of the water

held within.

The Joy in the Darkness – A Poem

I could hear her

before she became visible.

The song she was singing

stretched her voice out before her

so that it was the first thing

about her that I became aware of.

Notes of song rang out into

the cool air and, from where I was,

I could see them dancing with her breath,

as if celebrating being free.

A dog barked and she came into view,

her face bathed in the sun.

The dog walked in front of her

and would look back at her

as she sang, the notes pure and whole.

I was struck by how happy she looked,

as if the light of the sun that shone so brightly

was mirrored from within her.

Her song was part of the light

that she gave to the world.

I stood there watching her as she sang.

It seemed to be a private moment,

a woman with her dog and her voice

singing out in front of her.

I had never heard opera sung so beautifully.

In that moment, I closed my eyes for a second

and let her voice take me

on a journey that was filled with

such emotiosn that I could only

let them flow through me.

In her song, there was a torment of the spirit

but I could hear a hope

that shone as brightly as the sun upon my face.

As I stood there, I reflected

that this was what we were all going through,

trying to find the joy in the darkness.

I opened my eyes to see

that she had stopped walking.

She faced me, this woman with

a song for the heavens.

In that moment, I knew

that she was singing for me.

She stood across the street,

tears sliding from her eyes

yet a brightness on her face

as she sang. She saw me looking

and she bowed her head.

I understood then that this song,

her voice, it was my gift

because I was the only person

who could hear her song.

When she walked onward,

her dog walking joyfully ahead of her

despite the sadness that was contained

in her voice, she left something with me.

Inside of me,

there was a small seed of light.

If I closed my eyes,

I could hear her song within me.

It filled me with a sadness that had no name

and a joy that shone as brightly

as a flame in the dark.

A Gorgeous Balance – A Poem

The forest has changed over time.

It’s been years since

I have been so deep into the trees

and though the leaves still whisper

in the same way that they always did.

They are not tar black like they were before,

but dark green. I stand in the trees

and I wonder how I can find myself here

after so long. I look around at the trees,

remnants of tar and blood they took from me

littering the forest floor. I look into the leaves,

into the depth of the trees,

waiting to hear the creatures that dwelled within.

All I can hear is silence

underneath the sound of my breathing

and the beating of my heart.

I realize that I had never really left it behind,

that the dark forest was always there.

No matter how much I try to outrun it,

or deny its existence,

The dark forest is always within me.

Rather than be frightened by the trees,

I reach out to touch the leaves.

The trees all around me let out a sound

very much like a sigh of longing.

I feel it within me, as if I am accepting

a part of myself that I had shunned

when all it wanted was some kind of affection.

Looking at the forest around me,

I can see blood and shadow,

growth and light,

all held within a gorgeous balance

of air, earth and soil and light.

I expect to hear the sounds of ghosts,

waiting to pull me deeper into the trees,

but all I can hear

are the songs of birds

as they call to me and if I stop to listen,

I can almost make out what they

are trying to say.

Walking forward,

I let my hands reach out on either side

of myself and touch the leaves

and I can feel that touch within myself.

When I get to the border of the forest,

knowing that this will not be goodbye.

I’m okay with that and I’m no longer afraid

of what waits within.

VOTE FOR ME!

Voting is now live!

Make sure to vote for me and my book for the 2022 Ottawa Awards!

Go here: https://facesmag.ca/awards/#/gallery?group=402752

I’m under Author of the Year: Jamieson Wolf

and Book of the Year: Beyond the Stone

Voting runs from January 6th until January 31st, 2022 and winners are announced on January 31st!

I’d really appreciate your vote!

I’ve Been Nominated! – Ottawa Awards 2022

How awesome is this?

I’m a nominee for the Faces Ottawa 2022 Awards! I know, right?

Every year, Faces Magazine runs an awards ceremony to celebrate the biggest and brightest in Ottawa!  

I’ve been nominated for Best Book of the Year (Beyond the Stone) and Best Author of the Year. Voting begins on January 6th

You can find out more here: https://facesmag.ca/awards/#//

This is an awesome way to start the week! More news as it comes, but get ready to vote on January 6th 2022!

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