Jamieson Wolf
Number-one bestselling author
Who I Had Become – A Poem
I hadn’t been
through the suitcase
for some time.
It had sat
forgotten in my
storage locker. I
unzipped it and
found many forgotten
items. Among them
was an engagement
ring that a
man from my
past had given
Its shine
was gone, its
lustre dimmed. I
did not remember
who I had
been when he
had placed the
ring on my finger.
I could picture
him though: a
little lost, afraid,
surrounded by people
in the bar
where he had
given his proposal.
There was never
any question in
his mind that
I would accept.
I wore the
ring but after
only a little
time, it felt
too tight, as
if it was
burning my skin.
This was not
a fear of
commitment, but only
what I would
become when I
was wedded to
him. I remember
one of the
first things he
said when meeting
me face to
face for the
very first time.
“Well, you can stand to lose a little weight, you’re quite fat. I’ll design a workout for you though.”
There were no
terms of endearment,
only criticisms. He
would look at
me after I
had said something
off the cuff.
“Oh, my little freak. Who’s my little freak?”
As I came
to know him,
I realized how
little we had
in common, how
little we had
to talk about.
“Why do you read so much? Would you please put down the book and stop ignoring me?”
That was his
constant bitter refrain.
“What joy can there be in books, my little freak?”
When I found
the ring, all
this came rushing
back to me,
condensed into a
single memory, as
if there was
a time lapse
camera inside of
my head. I
saw who and
what I had
been. It was
made even more
clear to me
what I had
become. I was
stronger, I was
more whole and
made complete by
the love of
a man who
loved me unconditionally,
who loved everything
about me, who
cherished every thing
that made me
all of who
I was. I looked
at the ring
with no remorse
for what had
transpired, no hate
towards that man,
nor did I
hate who I
had been. Instead,
I looked at
the ring and
said, softly:
“Thank you for showing me that I was worth more. Thank you for showing me what I didn’t want. Thank you for showing me that I was stronger than I thought I was.”
Then I let
the ring fall
from my fingers
into the trash,
along with who
I had been.
I turned away
and instead focused
on who I
had become.
One Comment on “Who I Had Become – A Poem”
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Jamieson Wolf has written a compelling story about navigating multiple sclerosis and cerebral palsy. His story will touch your heart, make you cry, then laugh, and inspire you. A touching memoir with a bit of magic…and tarot! ~ Theresa Reed, author of The Tarot Coloring Book
Jamieson Wolf 
This was a lovely read. His negging of you was really unfortunate. I don’t understand “negging” and why people do it! It’s just mean and useless. Glad you were strong enough to make a decision that was right for you!