It seems like another lifetime
when I wished for you.
I remember that Christmas
where I sat alone after
spending time with my family.
My apartment was dark
except for the Christmas lights
that shone in the dark like
a thousand little stars.
My body was still healing,
still unknown to me,
I had yet to find my light again.
Though I should have been overjoyed
after receiving so many gifts,
I lamented what I didn’t have.
Turning inward, I tried to feel
my way along every crevice,
every hill and valley inside of me.
I tried to come to terms with
what my life was like now,
my body that held me so tightly
that I often found myself short of breath.
I ran a finger along my skin,
trying to see if I could feel
that which no one could see.
I looked into the lights,
shining like so many stars,
and imagined them as candles
burning brightly in the night sky.
I let out a deep breath and said:
“I wish for someone to love me as I am. I wish for someone to love me completely.”
I closed my eyes and imagined
that I could feel the stars
gently caressing my eyelids.
With my eyes closed,
the room seemed to grow brighter
as if giving me an answer to my wish.
Months later, when we met,
I remember the light that shone
above your head, as if you had a halo.
I was reminded of those Christmas lights,
shining like multi-coloured stars.
It was as if the light was telling me
that it was granting my wish,
as if it were giving me the gift of you.
Every time you ask me what I want
as a gift, I am befuddled.
I already have everything that I could need,
because I have you.
You truly are the greatest gift,
for you love all of me beyond all imagination.
My only hope is that you know
how much I value you,
how much I love you
and how thankful I am
that my wish was granted.