It’s hard to believe
that you’re gone.
When I was younger,
we met by chance
and the connection was immediate.
Lost in the world,
you were an island of calm.
You taught me what it was
to be loved
for who I was,
not for what I wished to be.
You taught me that love,
this insurmountable emotion,
could be so simple.
You were the first man
to tell me they loved me.
Though whole lifetimes have passed
and neither of us is the same
as we once were,
there was still a little star within me
that I carried for you,
kept safe even after all this time.
You never forget your first love
and you were the standard
with which I measured everyone
that came after.
When I learned that you were gone,
that your light had left this world,
I went back to that island
that I had shared with you,
just for a moment.
You were waiting for me.
I was struck by how happy you looked.
You began to fade
into the night and I knew
that you had been waiting for me.
I watched as the outline of you
began to slowly seep into the night
and I walked away from that island,
toward the life I have now,
one in which I live surrounded
by more love than I ever thought possible.
Looking up at the night sky,
I saw the stars and I know what
needed to be done.
I took that kernel of light
that I have been carrying within me.
I hold it up to the darkened sky
in my cupped hands and I watched
as it glowed brighter just for a moment.
I knew that was you saying goodbye to me.
I let you go and watched as
the night sky
welcomed you home.