To All The Men I Have Known – A Prose Poem

Dear ___________,

I’ve thought about what I wanted to say to you for a long time.

The words have been gathering in my head, taking up too much room.

It’s time for me to let them go. Just like you, I don’t need them anymore.

When you called me cripple, at first, I believed you. I thought myself weak,

undeserving of love because I was somehow imperfect. Over time, I realized

that you called me crippled because I was stronger than you were.

When you used to beat me, punching me and calling me stupid, yelling that

I brought this on myself, I believed you. I thought that if only I could be better,

you would love me. Over time, I realized that I wasn’t at fault, you were. It was

all on you. You were the problem.

When you used to steal from me and cheat on me behind my back, making up

drama that didn’t exist so that you could angry and manipulate me into giving you

what you wanted, I let it happen because I thought you loved me. When I chose myself

and put me first, I realized that never loved me at all.

When you used to control me and chip away at every friendship and relationship that I had

until I was alone with no one but you, I let it happen because I thought that this was

what marriage was like. It was only when I realized that even you didn’t want me

and I was just a thing to you, a disposable person, that I was able to break free.

When you used to call me broken, I believed you at first. I was at the end of a cycle,

but I didn’t know it. You used words to hurt me, words that had always been my friends.

I think that was what hurt most of all, and even now, I let your words hurt me. You never

raised a hand to me, but you didn’t have to. It was only when I realized that

I wasn’t broken, that I had mended myself but the light still shone outward, that I was able

to leave you and take my life back.

To all of you who I have known, I let you go. I no longer want you to have any power

over me. I embrace my body, mind and spirit and hold myself close. I will no longer

hear your voices when I look in the mirror. I will no longer see the way that you used

to look at me.

I will no longer give my power to you.

I take it all back, every last ounce of it so that I can shine all the brighter.

I hope you’re well (no I don’t).

Sincerely,

___________________