Memory Photographs – A Poem

I remember counting the pills that I had

poured into my hand.

They lay in my palm like scattered

teeth and I wondered if it would hurt

when I swallowed them,

taking a pound of flesh

on their way down.

I remember the sunshine blinding me,

even if I didn’t feel the warmth.

I tried to think of something positive,

a seed of light that could

grow into a flower within me

that could drown out the whisper

of trees and the caws of the birds

that sounded my own voice.

Looking back at the photograph

that is within my mind,

I remember that day,

the mountain of pain that seemed

unsurmountable.

When I flip the page,

I find another photo there.

Its darkness is in stark contrast

to the sun from earlier in the day.

There is barley enough light

To see my face,

but it looks different.

The pain has melted away

to be replaced by grim determination.

In my hand,

I hold a little yellow magnet.

I remember this day because this is the day

that I decided to

live.