The Huff Stuff!

n-JAMIESON-WOLF-VILLENEUVE-large570Hey Everyone!

How cool is this? An article I wrote on weight loss and it’s been published in The Huffington Post!

I don’t like writing about myself, but it’s a challenge that I engage in regularly. Readers of my blog dealing with having Cerebral Palsy and Multiple Sclerosis will know this. You can read Two Steps at a Time here: http://www.two-steps.org

This is the first time I’ve written about my weight loss. When I wrote it, I called it Rebuilding the Temple. I’ve lost 140 pounds on the path to find myself. It took five years to do it, but I did it!

You can read it here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2014/09/09/weight-lost_n_5790924.html

I hope you enjoy it!

Candlelight and Three Simple Words – A Poem

You have litIMG-20140907-02644

a candle inside

of me. With

every touch, each

caress, each brush

of your lips

against mine,

the flame grows.

I had thought

the flame to

be extinguished, only

a mere finger

of smoke that

moved and undulated

inside me. Now,

the tiny tongue

of flame is

a light all

its own inside

of me. Every

time you tell

me those three

simple words with

a precious magic

all their own,

(I love you)

each word like

a caress along

my heart, the

flame grows brighter

still until I

am filled to

the brim with

love and light

for you.

 

Poker Symptoms – A Poem

The room wasTarockkarten_in_der_Hand_eines_Spielers

filled with smoke

when I came

in. They all

looked up at

me: Frank Fatigue,

Bob Balance, Steven

Speech. Travis Tremors,

Brian Brain Fog.

Sergio Spasm was

there too as

well as two

other shadowy shapes.

I looked at

all of them

and wished all

of them away.

Seven could see

the look of

distaste I wore.

“Come on, don’t be that way. Take a seat. We’re playing poker.”

I grumbled something

about needing a

cup of tea,

but Brian waved

a hand at

me. He let

out a laugh.

“Come on, it won’t take long. We’ll make it a short game. What’s the harm?”

The harm was

that I didn’t

like any of

them, that I

wanted all of

them to go

away and leave

me as I

was, as I

had been. Brian

was especially perceptive,

and I knew

he could read

my mind, having

shared so much

of it with

me. He nodded.

“We don’t like it much either. You’ll have to take that up with Max Shadow.”

One of the

shadow shapes moved

into the light

and I saw

Max Shadow for

the first time.

He was thin

with pallid skin

and long greasy

hair. He looked

like what I

imagined Flagg from

the Stand would

look like. He

smiled at me.

“Did someone say my name?”

He said, his

voice as oily

as his hair.

The other shadow

moved into sight

and I saw Cedric

Paulson for the

first time. He

looked like me

from a younger

age, but stretched

into adulthood, as

if he was

not fully in

control of his

thin limbs. He

looked as if

a stiff wind

would knock him

over and his

hands were shaking.

“Well, if you’re playing, so am I.”

He said. His

voice sounded unsure

of itself, as

if he was

not used to

standing up for

himself. He sighed

and his shoulders

dropped, though the

rest of him

still shook slightly.

“That is, if there’s room.”

“Of course there’s room.”

Travis said. His

voice was cheerful,

even though it

shook. He gave

me a smile.

“Come on, we saved a seat just for you.”

Sergio motioned with

his hand, also

smiling at me.

“Come on, it’s a good seat. Look, I have a cup of tea right here.”

He reached for

a cup on the

table, but back

chose that moment

to seize up

and when he

spoke next, it

was with obvious

pain. I motioned

to Sergio flippantly.

“Will he be all right?”

Max Shadow gave

me an oily

smile and a

small mirthless laugh.

“Of course he will. You’re okay, aren’t you?”

I didn’t know

how to answer

that question, so

moved through the

fog of smoke

and took my

seat. They watched

me as if

afraid I would

bolt from my

chair and run

from the room.

They all puffed

smoke out of

their mouths. I

did not, but

watched as the

smoke formed animals,

like each one

of them had

a Patronus of

some kind, an

animal that represented

their force. I

coughed and waved

my hand through

the smoke. Cedric

let out a

laugh and passed

me the deck

of cards. He

motioned to me.

“It’s your turn to deal.”

I took the

cards in my

hand and went

to shuffle them.

It was then

that I saw

they weren’t playing

cards. They were

tarot cards. I

looked up at

all of them,

not understanding. They

looked back at

me. Finally, from

inside a cloud

of smoke, Max

Shadow spoke softly.

“The game is simple, really. Draw five cards and see what they have to say.”

“What kind of poker is this?”

“Well, the stakes are a little high, I’m afraid.”

He smiled, his

teeth shining through

the smoke, and

held out his

hands to the

side, as if

to say mea

culpa. He motioned

to the cards.

“You just have to see what they say. We’ll all be playing along with you.”

“How is that possible?”

“We’re part of you and anything is possible. Haven’t you figured that out by now?”

I blinked my

eyes and they

were gone from

the room. However,

I could feel

them in me:

Frank, Bob, Steven,

Travis, Brian, Sergio.

Max and Cedric

were there too.

They were all

looking through my

eyes. I sighed

and shuffled the

cards, thinking my

question silently. I

closed my eyes,

just for a

moment. Then I

drew three card

and looked down

at what the

cards had to

say.

Skin Chrysalis – A Poem

It was theWings-Tattoo-Designs-Pictures-2

same every year.

The day after

my birthday, a

thin crust would

begin to form

on my skin.

Throughout the year,

it would grow

tougher, as if

made from stone

or marble. It

would grow thicker,

It would become

more difficult to

move as the

year passed on,

harder to move

my body as

I wanted to.

The evening before

my birthday, the

crust would begin

to crack and

break, flaking off

and falling to

the floor. I

would sweep the

pile of dust

up off the

floor and place

it in a

small cloth bag.

I don’t know

why I kept

the dust, why

I held onto

  1. It felt

right somehow, like

I was expected

  1. This year

was different. The

layer of thickness

that covered my

skin began to

break and crack

the evening before

my birthday. However,

when the shell

that had made

a mould of

my body began

to break, it

slipped free to

reveal something different

about my body.

I had wings.

They were tattooed

along my skin

but if I focused

on flying, they

slipped out of

my skin and

would flutter in

the air and

I would rise

up a few

feet. When I

didn’t want to

fly, they would

rest once again

along my skin,

simple lines of

ink. I panicked,

wondering what was

wrong with me.

I gathered up

my cloth bags

of dust and

brought them to

a wise woman.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong with me?”

She looked at

the tattooed wings,

ran her fingers

along them. I

made the wings

flutter for her.

She then looked

at the bags

of dust. I

looked at her.

“This was not made from a shell as you describe.”

“What was it then?”

She looked at

me with eyes

that were a

deep, dark brown.

“It was a chrysalis.”

Her words sent

my wings fluttering

anew. It seemed

that they agreed

with her assessment.

“I don’t understand. It’s always been just a shell before. Why now?”

She put her

fingers in the

most recent cloth

bag and took

them out. Pinched

between her fingers

was a glittering

powder. She let

it trickle from

her fingers and

it glittered in

the soft light.

“Would a shell produce this? As to why now? Well, the butterfly goes through several stages. The Chrysalis is just one of them.”

I shook my

head in bewilderment.

“Why now?”

Her brown eyes

saw so much.

They saw right

into the core

of my heart.

“Because you were ready.”

“I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do.”

She laughed lightly

and the sound

was calming instead

of being jarring.

“Isn’t it obvious? What does a butterfly do when it leaves it’s crysalis?”

I shook my

head, not knowing

how to respond.

She simply said:

“It flies.”

Hallowed – A Short Story

deathly hallowsThe world had been over for seven weeks when the rain began.

Percy could see it from his window. What’s more, he could hear it. The rain fell not with the gentle music of normal rainfall, but with a hot an acidic sizzle. Slowly, he put his hand out the window but drew it back twice as quickly.

Looking at his hand, he saw small red welts where the rain had struck his skin. Smoke rose fro the welts but he knew they wouldn’t last long. This wasn’t the first injury he had withstood since the world as he’d known it had come to a close.

He waited mere moments, a minute or two. Then his skin began to knit together. There was a stinging sensation and he watched the welts begin to lessen their red hue and then disappear all together.

Percy stood there looking at his hand, at what had been mauled skin only a moment before. Now his skin was unblemished and whole again. He sighed. He had always said that geeks would inherit the earth. He just wish he hadn’t been right.

The trouble had started off innocently enough: Floods off the east coast of China, a breakout of hurricane like weather in Japan. Then there had been reports of the mass deaths of animals in the Australian outback, whole herds dying as one. First the marsupials then the mammal’s had started dying off.

Leaders of the world were approached for a cause or a reason behind what was surely some sort of disease. The religious groups started talking about a new set of plagues that had come to wipe the earth clear of everything that the gods found unfitting. They were all wrong. No one knew what was causing any of the disasters.

Then the weather problems jumped from Japan and China and found their way towards Niger, Guinea and Mali. Temperatures increased to the point where people would bake alive if they remained outside for longer than ten minutes, houses were set alight just by the rays of the sun.

Then people started dying out in Nigeria. They could find no reason for the illness, only that they were well one moment and then ill the next. They started talking on tongues first and then just screaming in wordless syllables. The self-mutilation would begin next, with people carving strange symbols in their skin. That was the last step before the people began to bleed from their eyes, as if they were crying out their souls. Then they perished. The whole illness took less than seventy-two hours to reach full effect.

Reports of this new disease were far reaching from Poland to Egypt to Sudan. There was no rhyme or reason to how or why it struck and the religious folk started saying that it was the end of days. Watching everything unfold, Percy was left with no choice but to agree.

The panic really began when the first unexplained death happened in Argentina. The man, a scientist by the name of Hector Chavez, went to work to study the weather patterns off of the cost of South Africa. He never left work. He started talking in tongues and within less than twenty four hours, had cut strips out of his skin shaped like a triangle with a small dot in the centre.

Looking at the dot, carved out of Hector’s flesh, Percy hadn’t known what to make of all of this. When he died, the animal herds of Argentina had begun to die quickly. The illness or plague had jumped continents and had come to South America. If a plague could move across water, there was no stopping it. Reports started to come in of illness and deaths in Iceland, Greenland and the Arctic. It seemed that temperature had no effect. It always behaved the same.

That had been around the time that Percy had woken one morning with a mark upon his skin. He had watched it grow as the days passed and panic began to reach a fever pitch. It was a few pale lines at first, as if someone had etched them underneath his skin.

In three days, it showed itself for what it was: a triangle, nine inches in diameter, with a circle in it’s centre three inches across. Percy tried to think of where he’d seen the symbol before and could only think of the mark the people with the sickness had carved in their own skin.

He fully expected to die in a matter of hours. However, he didn’t feel sick or feverish. Instead, he experienced a surge in health that he’d never had before. He’d smoked all of his life and his breathing had always been poor. He had constant pain in his back and legs, but that melted away and his breath improved.

As his health continued to improve, the mark on his skin changed once more. A thin line ran down the centre, from the point of the triangle to the base. He wracked his brain to think of where he had seen the symbol before, but his memory still came up empty. Even now, with all the people in the world gone except a few, he was no closer to figuring out the symbol.

When the scientist and doctors could find no reason for any of the catastrophe’s, and then perished from the illness themselves, everything went to shit. The plague and the weather disasters now spanned the world over. Percy had known then that there was no hope for the future. He had shut himself in the top floor of an apartment building. He supposed it was the penthouse once upon a time. From his vantage point twenty five floors up, he could see others in other buildings, looking out their windows at a world they no longer understood.

Then, they too disappeared. He started to wonder if they had died or merely withdrawn from looking out at a world they didn’t understand. In less than a week, the whole world had gone to shit and Percy certainly understand why. Seven weeks that felt like seven months, seven months that felt like seven years. He felt as if he had aged three times over, had gone towards death only to be given a reprieve. For what, he didn’t know. He didn’t understand why he had been spared.

All he did now was ruminate on what the world had become. His only pleasure was found in the books that had been left behind by the previous tenants. Percy had always experienced a joy when he read, when he held a book in his hands. Now the books provided a refuge, a reminder that the world that he’d left behind was not without joy, not without anything to remember it by.

As the rain continued to sizzle outside of his window, he heard a sound outside of the apartment door. He put the book he had been reading aside, setting it down beside a cup of tea and went to the door. Listening, he heard footsteps. They had stopped just outside of his apartment door.

“Hello?” A voice said “Can you hear me? Please, I need help.”

The voice belonged to another man. Percy looked carefully out of the peephole and saw a bright hazel eye looking back at him.

“Please let me in. Please.”

It was the second please that did him in. Percy knew that there was little kindness left in the world as it was now. Slowly, he unlocked the door, but did not disengage the chain. He was willing to help someone, but he wasn’t entirely stupid.

The man was breath taking. Percy could see that even with the red splotches left on his skin from the rain. Even as he looked at him, he watched the red welts disappear like they had from his own skin. He was struck by how beautiful the man was despite the healing redness of his skin.

“You’re not sick.” Percy said, even though this was obvious.

“No, Nor are you.”

“No.” Percy said. “How did you find me?”

“Like calls to like.” the man said. He held out his left arm. Percy sucked in a breath. The man had the same mark upon his skin that he did, only in black instead of red. Intrigued, Percy reached out to touch the mark. When his fingers made contact, he felt a burning on his right arm. Looking down, he saw that the red mark on his wrist had turned black.

“What does this mean?”

“It means you’re one of them, too. One of us.”

“One of us? Who are we, exactly?”

The man gave Percy a small half smile. “We get well despite the sickness and the plague. Our bodies improve themselves day by day, leaving behind all traces of physical maladies. There are a few names those like us are calling us as a group: the blessed, the cursed, the survivors.”

He took a breath and Percy felt himself taking a breath, too. The man looked at him with those deep hazel eyes. “I like the other name some are using: the masters of death.” He whispered. “This will take time to explain. Would it be okay if I came inside?”

Percy nodded and unlatched the chain. As he did so, he felt that his life was beginning anew which seemed odd, given that it had taken the end of the world for it to happen.

When the door was fully open, the man held out a hand. “I’m Harry.” He said.

“I’m Percy.”

Harry stepped fully in the apartment and Percy closed the door behind him with the distinct impression that, somehow, another door was opening. All he had to do was step through it to find out what was on the other side…