The Clouds of Forever – A Poem

When I came

out of the

closet, after finally

being truthful about

who I am

and what I

was, my mothers

reaction was better

than I could

have hoped for.

The only thing

she said that

worried her was:

“Now I will worry more over you. You can be hurt in a fall, in a crash, but now you can also be hurt because of your sexuality.”

I pushed that

aside, thinking she

was being silly.

Sure, I was

bullied, teased, ridiculed

but never physically

hurt. However, I

am hurting now.

I’ve been trying

to process what

happened, but I

can’t. I’ve been

trying to wrap

my brain around

what took place,

but it cannot.

My spirit has

been trying to

comprehend what occurred,

but it can

only hide itself

in shock. The

whole world is

grieving and I

along with it.

These were people

that I did

not know, people

that I had

never met, but

it’s as if

a piece of

me has been

lost along with

them. I feel

it inside of

me, struggling to

find light. So

I do the

only thing that

I can think

of doing. I

sit quietly, looking

at the pictures

of their faces,

at their smiles,

at the photos

from a moment

caught in time.

I say a

lament for all

of them, for

their lives cut

short, all for

being brave enough

to be their

true selves. As

I gaze at

the photos, the

light within me

grows brighter, from

a small spark

into a flame.

“I will remember you.”

I say. The

flame inside of

me grows even

brighter. Soon my

skin sparkles with

it, the internal

light becoming external.

“I will remember all of you. You will live on inside of each of us and you will shine on through us.”

I light a

candle and hope

that the light

can reach their

spirits, that it

can find them

amongst that clouds

of forever and

bring them solace.