Living Beyond the Waves – A Poem

I am within the waves.

They are filling my world with noise,

with a torrent of force that

sweeps me through life,

deciding my direction

and taking away my choice.

I go where they take me,

where the waters bring me.

I try to keep my head above water,

attempt to quiet the battle

happening within me and outside of me,

but the force of the water

and the war inside of me is too great.

I dig down deep inside myself

and find a seed of courage.

As I hold it, its warmth spreads through me,

and the noise of the waves softens.

It is as if I am inside of myself and

all I can hear is the hum of that seed,

all I can feel is its heat sliding up my arm.

I look through the waves and see land,

a terrain that I find unfamiliar and foreign.

I know that, even though it is unknown to me,

that it is my salvation. With all my might,

I swim towards that piece of land,

that sliver of green that I can see

through the deep blue of the waves.

The waves sense my growing courage

and they amplify their force,

strengthen their torrent until I am

all but lost under the waters.

Through the sliver of waves that I can see,

a hand appears and grasps mine.

I grab hold of it and let whoever

the hand belongs to pull me to safety.

I let the hand pull me further towards

the piece of land that I was able to glimpse

and it is as green as I had hoped,

full of vegetation and light.

I look to the person who saved me

and am astounded to be looking at myself.

I regard myself for a moment.

He is the me that I used to be.

He is pale from weakness and lack of sun,

but he offers me a smile.

“You looked like you could use some help”

He said.

I nodded and said “Thank you.”

“Thank yourself. You helped me, now it is my turn to help you.”

“I don’t understand.” I tell him.

My past self gives me a sage look.

“You don’t have to live amongst the waves. You can choose the direction of your life.”

I look back at the waves.

“Sometimes, I feel as if I’m drowning.”

“Then make another choice. Choose to live instead of merely surviving.”

I nod as if I comprehend. But then I say:

“I do pretty well but sometimes, I forget to do that.”

He takes my hand holding the seed of courage

and unfurls my fingers.

“When you forget how, use this. It’s what its for. Here…”

He takes the seed and pressed it into

palm of my hand. The heat increases

until my body is alight with the warmth and light

that I felt from the seed. I can feel it

swimming within me.

“Live beyond the waves.”

He whispers.

I turn to look at the waves

at the tumultuous embrace they promise.

When I turn back, he is gone from my sight

but I can feel him within me.

I turn my back on the sound of water

and instead turn to take in the land

that spreads before me. I take one step

and then another. I look up to the sky and

feel the warmth of the sunshine

echoed in that small seed of courage.

“I will live beyond the waves.”

I say and take another step

towards my future.