Remembering You – A Poem

When we first met,

I knew that you were the only possible reason

For the lack of control over my body

which had become a vessel

that I no longer knew or understood.

Listening to the doctor’s voice,

telling me gently that what lived in me

went by the name of multiple sclerosis,

I fell into a kind of trance.

Finally, what had been ravaging my body,

spirit and mind had a name that I could pronounce

like a mantra, over and over, until

it rolled off of my tongue.

When the doctor handed you to me,

I took you from him and when I looked down,

expecting to see a child,

I saw my face in a mirror instead.

Reaching down to touch my reflection,

I knew that I would have to give you

a different name, one of my own choosing

so that I would have power over you

instead of you having power over me.

Looking at my reflection,

I imagined that I could see you

within my eyes, but all I really saw

was another window into myself.

Looking into my pupils,

the black sea of my consciousness,

I could feel the warmth of the stars

that shone from within.

I knew that there was a sea of change coming

and that I could fight the wave and do battle

with you, or I could ride the wave,

let it take me where it would.

I chose to ride the wave.

Though there is another being

that lives inside of me and yet

I’ve learned so much from you,

and how to celebrate my life

rather than regret what it has become.

Every day is a gift

and you taught me that.

Now, I look for the stars

and go where they

lead me.