Trying to Find Comfort – An Update

I’ve been rather quiet on here.

That has mostly been because I’ve been busy. I finished the first draft of my new memoir last week and I’ve been so intent on finishing that. You know when you can see the end in sight? When I get like that with a book, I just plug in and keep going. I have a terrible habit of working on a lot of different projects at once, often writing and editing two different books at the same time and painting at the same time. The words and the paints have been even more of a comfort lately.

I just knew that I was so close to finishing the first draft of Someone Else’s Life, I knew that I had to give it my full attention while my memory was good and the memories were fresh in my mind. The more I wrote of the memoir, the more memories showed themselves, climbing out of the shadows of my mind. While the going was good, I went with it and writing this book has taught me a lot about myself and the foundations on which make up a lot of who I am today. I’m going through the book and writing the second draft.

Once I’m done the second draft, I will send the book out to beta readers to see what needs to be reworked and or changed before it goes off to the editors. I’m planning on self-publishing it sometime within this year, but no idea when yet. I have the ideas for my next book written out and it will keep until I’m done with Someone Else’s Life.

I’m also working on stuff for Minotaur. It’s hard for me to believe that after so long in my mind, the book is out there in the world and people have been reading it! Its wonderful and nerve wracking at the same time to have the book out there. I’m hoping to organize a book tour and some interviews. I’ll keep you posted on news as it develops, but things are in the works.

There are a few more projects I would like to complete. I want to put out a book of short stories; I haven’t had a collection in years. I’d like to put out a new book of poems, and I have an idea for a follow up to Minotaur. I’d like to have another art show, and I am always being called to the easel for something.

But the thing is, I’ve also been trying to make myself a priority.

I’ve also been going through a bit of a difficult time and struggling with my mental health more than usual and I’ve taken the time to rest, recuperate and find my centre. I didn’t want to lose myself to the forest again. Too often, I push through and keep pushing until I’m exhausted. I don’t want to do that to myself anymore. It’s hard to stop the cycle of forcing myself to work against the grind of my own mind, body and spirit. I can’t continue without making myself a priority.

Too often, I just keep going. I keep writing, painting, working full time and I just push through it and keep going until my body stops me. That’s my usual pattern, but I wanted to try something different this time. I wanted to honour the creative work I do by honouring myself. I can’t create if my body won’t let me. I have been trying to find my balance and that should start with me. I can’t create from an empty well, and everything starts with me, including my frame of mind. More than anything, I’ve been trying to find comfort in a world which I no longer makes sense.

It’s been a difficult journey, but I’m trying to unravel the foundation’s that gave me the bad habits that push me so much. I no longer need to fight in order to survive, I have to focus on living. It’s hard to let go of that way of thinking. I’m trying to undo trauma and find myself within the reflections of who I have been in the past. I need to be able to see who I have become in the mirror, too, not just who I have been.

Stay tuned for more coming soon I promise. I hope you are all well in the world that has become so difficult to understand.