Elastic Bands, Band-Aids, Words and Song – A Poem

Every day is the same:Band aid

I work on holding myself together.

I wrap my body in found things:

elastic bands, string, a pleasing melody, Band-Aids, a well written line of text, the occasional staple.

These have built up over time,

to form a cocoon or a chrysalis,

that surrounds me.

Some days are better than others,

and I am able to go through the day without a care,

the cocoon around me able to withstand

the soft breeze of life,

and the ebbs and flow of my emotions.

Sometimes though,

everything that I am trying to hold in

finds its way out

and becomes an inferno that rises in me despite my care of the flame.

It bursts past the barriers of string and elastic bands,

scattering them to the wind.

It destroys something in me,

the chalice that holds the whole of me,

so that pieces of glass are littered like diamonds

in amongst the string and staples

and the occasional line of text.

I work at picking the pieces of myself

off of the floor,

adding more band aids, random pieces of string and elastic bands as I go.

I also pick up each piece of diamond glass,

no bigger than a grain of sand,

and look into their depths.

I see pieces of myself that make up the whole:

the sound of my laugher, my eyes that widen when I laugh, my thirst to live, to experience all that life has to offer me.

My light burns so brightly

and my body is capable of music.

This is a crescendo

and every moment is but a note that I can make.

 

Joy In Our Pain – A Poem

 

*Dedicated to our guide through Santiago de Cuba. An everyday angel.

 

We sat

in a restaurant

that was nestled

in the clouds.

I could see

a couple dancing,

moving as if

the very air

was filled with

music.

There were

apartments and dwellings

that rose up

high around us,

built on top

of one another.

I wondered if

those that lived

within those homes

knew that the

sky belonged to

them.

Our guide

sat and regarded

us with kind

eyes that had

seen so much.

The air around him

was filled with

the scents of vinegar,

spiced shrimp and

marinated chicken with

beans and rice.

The scents evoked

a mellowing of

my spirit and

soothed my turbulent

soul.

He spoke:

The truth of it is that we find joy in our pain.”

Time had slowed

down when he

spoke, when he

shaped his words.

His voice was

melodic and each

rounded syllable was

like a musical

note.

He said:

When life rises up to meet us, we look at it and laugh.”

He smiles when

he says this.

I can see

the twinkle in

his dark eyes.

They are windows

to his soul

and they contain

multitudes.

He said:

“There are times when I want to give up.”

He took a

moment to think

of his words

and I could see

him choosing and

discarding words that

didn’t make any

sense.

He said:

“But I never give up, there is too much life to live, no?”

The group sits

and we all

sip our beer,

listening to the

sounds of people

below us and

the noise of

traffic and I

realise that what

we are hearing

is the sound

of life being

lived.

The Wild Sea Within – A Poem

I often feelMusic

as if my body

contains a storm at sea.

It rages inside of me, trying

to tear me limb from limb. I

can feel my skin being pulled taunt and

I am desperately trying to hold it together.

Sometimes, all I can hear is the noise and the fury

of the wind as the storm gets stronger, as the

waves crash against the rocks,

the birds scream overhead

as the wind becomes

even more

furious.

As the boat rides

the raging storm, lightning

snaps across the sky as thunder rolls

throughout the clouds. I am inside that

boat, holding on to the edges, the oars taken

by the hungry waters. I sit in the boat, knowing that

my time has come, holding on to my skin which

desperately wants to just come apart, my

muscles screaming at me, angry and sore

beneath my fragile skin. I sit in the boat

and close my eyes, trying to hear the

storm as music, to hear it as

something beautiful as

opposed to the battle

that is happening

within

me.

I close my

eyes and try to

hear the sounds around me,

that wild sea within that threatens

to consume me, as something beyond

the crash of waves and the screech of wind.

I try to hear the music within my body instead.

The crashes of the waves, the spasms that explode

within my body, those are the drums, keeping

the beat inside me. The screeching wind,

the flashes of pain that ride along my

skin, they are the flutes that keep

try to match the beat of my

heart. The crash of the

waves against the

rocks, that is

the brain

fog that

slams

into me, much like the

cymbals that slam into every

song, punctuating every movement,

every crescendo. The numbness and the

tingling that runs throughout my body, that

is the guitar, playing a sweet melody that holds

everything together, that unites everything into a cohesive

tune. As I listen to that storm symphony, I feel the

waters start slow their rocking, the winds begin

to slow down, the cymbals crashing together

less and less. Soon, I can only hear my heart

beat which was the voice of the song,

the eternal beat within me that

is the beat of everything,

that had been trying to

find its voice the

entire time.

I close

my eyes

and listen

as my heart

sings me a

song. As I

sit in the

water that

was the wild

sea within,

I listen

to the

pain that has

become a

song.

Lemonade in the Library

45341441_10160894806305702_6838555677263134720_oI received a lovely surprise today! My books are available in the Ottawa Public Library!

I’ve always dreamed of having my books available in a library and knowing that it has finally happened is beyond awesome.

Isn’t this wonderful? You can check out the books from the Nepean Centrepointe Library and, even cooler, you can reserve the books in any library in Ottawa!

Check them out here:

https://ottawa.bibliocommons.com/v2/search?query=Jamieson%20Wolf&searchType=smart

Today, libraries! Tomorrow book stores!

Witchcraft and Anchovies – Available Now!

Wolf-Witchcraft

Trick or treat!

My new book, Witchcraft and Anchovies, is available now from Wolf Flow Press! How awesome is that? It’s a spooky, magical tale about past lives, family history and the ties that bind that is just perfect for Halloween!

Here’s a bit about the book:

Carolotta is a woman with two lives: Pizza delivery call girl by day, Witch by night.

 

An obsessive-compulsive agoraphobic, she has not left her apartment building in more than ten years. She tries to be normal, but she is far from it. Though she tries to deny the darker side of herself, her heritage will not let her forget.

 

When one of her clients seeking magical help with a romance gives her a journal, Carlotta begins to write.

 

When what she writes begins to come to life, she knows that she has no hope of being normal if she is to save herself.

 

Carlotta begins travelling to a strange but familiar world inside of her dreams. There she meets her dead grandmother who tells her that she is being hunted by the man who killed her.

 

Though Carlotta has tried to deny her magic and her heritage, she knows that she must embrace it if she has a chance at survival. She knows as well that she must rely on the help of others, something she has never let herself do.

 

She receives help from four different people: Michael, a young woman with magic inside of her. Rhonda Jean, a redneck, white trash, fast talking woman with a beehive hairdo. Joe Swanson, a seventeen-year-old who has a fascination with magic. And Paulo, her grocery delivery man, who delivers her groceries and holds her heart.

 

When they are all threatened by magic they do not understand, Carlotta knows that she must find the strength and the magic inside of her if they are all to stay alive…

You can get the ebook here: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B07JL6G5CY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540089192&sr=8-1&keywords=Witchcraft+and+Anchovies

The paperback is coming soon! I truly hope you enjoy it!

Happy Halloween Everyone!

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