What We Have Grown Together – A Poem

When I think of that day,

I remember the sound of leaves.

As we walked down the isle

that would begin our new life together,

I could hear the music of my heart

as it beat rapidly in my chest,

not out nervousness, but excitement.

When I looked at you,

I remember thinking:

‘I wished for you. You are a wish made real’.

When we said our vows,

I felt the rapidness of my heart slow

so that my heart could sing

along with the music of the beautiful leaves.

Out of the corner of my eye,

I could see them dancing,

happy that they we had achieved

this moment of bliss.

I knew then that they were the perfect symbol

of the love that had grown between us.

We had both held on to the possibility of love,

real true love that would fill our hearts.

We had finally found that in each other.

When we kissed, sealing our bond,

the beautiful leaves danced around us

and as they flew out the windows,

they showered light upon everyone there.

Yet, they left us a gift.

Between us, a single seed shone,

filling our hearts with its own magic.

Throughout the past six years,

that seed has grown into something

no body could contain.

When I close my eyes,

I can see the tree that we’ve grown,

its roots and branches stretching between us,

linking us together on this path that began

so many years ago.

The tree is covered with all the leaves

that we have grown together,

each one of them a reminder

that magic is real.

Wicked Symphony – A Poem

I’ve been here before.

The trees are so familiar to me now.

I trace my fingertips along the ridges

in the bark that feel like fingerprints.

The leaves of the tree are shades

of red and faded ochre,

but they have dried now,

no longer wet and dripping with

the blood that they once took

from me. The wood is no longer

full of life and is brittle under my touch.

I begin to walk through the forest

that I know so well, the trees which

have taken so much from me.

I can’t hear the birds anymore,

just the sound of the wind through

the leaves. I walk on and leave the forest

behind me, not sure what I will find

at the end of the path beneath my feet.

After the forest, there is only a wide expanse

of grass so green it doesn’t look real.

I can hear my footsteps whispering

along with the sound of my breathing and

the beating of my heart keeping rhythm.

With a few more steps, I see a small hill

in the distance. When I get closer,

I realize the small hill is a mountain.

When I am finally right in front of it, I can see

trees covering its surface, rocks that point

with jagged fingers to higher surfaces,

cliffs that reach out to the sky as if

to embrace it, welcoming the clouds home.

I know that I will have to climb this beast,

get to know each rockface and sharp edge

as well as I had known the forest.

I can hear the whisper of wind moving

through the branches of the trees

covering the mountain and the birds within.

High above me, I can hear the growl of beasts

and the stomp of hooves. All those sounds

mixed with music of my breathing and my heart

make some kind of wicked symphony.

I take one step and reach my hand up to grasp the rock,

feeling a sharp sting and the wetness of blood.

I take a deep breath, that sound adding to the music of my body

and I begin to climb.

When Two Hearts Meet – A Poem

When we met,

I wasn’t expecting to fall in love.

When I heard you speak my name,

I turned to see you for the first time

and my world shifted around me,

though I had no way of knowing it

at the time.

When we met,

I wasn’t looking for someone to complete me.

What I wanted was someone that I could talk to

and whose eyes I could lose myself in.

Thankfully, your eyes were like the calm sea,

filled with blue green water that brought

me peace.

When we met,

I didn’t think I would be able to open my heart to you,

having been hurt so many times. And yet,

I didn’t want our time together to end.

I could have listened to you forever.

Slowly, the sound of your voice broke down the wall.

When we met,

I was afraid of opening the cage that I had put around myself.

It was safer that way and I had less chance of getting hurt.

However, the first time that you took my hand,

and entwined your fingers with mine,

you found the key that helped to open the cage.

When we met,

I had no way of knowing that I had just met

the man who would become my best friend, lover and husband.

I only knew that I wanted to know all of you.

Nine years later, we are still on the journey

of knowing each other.

When we met,

I finally believed that wishes

do come true.

I Will Dream of You – A Poem

When you are away from me,

I lay down in the dark

and imagine stars appearing above me.

The same sky covers you like a blanket,

keeping you safe while you are far

and I know that you see the same stars

that I can see, even if they are

inside of my imagination.

I raise my hand to the black velvet sky

and I draw a line between the stars

so that I can form word for you.

Words like: *joy* and *heart* and *love*

I keep tracing words in the stars,

hoping that you will see them and think of me:

*husband* and *lover* and *best friend*

I don’t know how long I lay there

drawing in the sky with my fingers,

but I begin to hear my heartbeat

and I know that you can hear it, too.

I lay there and I am missing you,

but I know that you are with me

because we share a heart.

I gave you half of mine

and you gave me half or yours.

Even if you can’t see the words

that I’ve written in the stars,

I hope you can feel their light

shining down upon you.

I lay there still and just as I’m about

to let the sweet embrace of sleep claim me,

the stars above my head grow brighter,

just for a moment.

I blink my eyes and

when I can see clearly,

I turn my eyes back to the stars

and see four words written in the stars

that was not written by me:

*I* *will* *dream* *of* *you*

Letting sleep take me,

my sadness fades away

because I know that I will see you

in my dreams.

What I Remember of You – A Poem

I don’t remember

feeling safe within my own body.

I was always treated as if I was delicate,

as if I would break.

I would look at myself in the mirror,

trying to see the glass

that was under my skin.

I was treated like a freak,

told that I was weak,

that I wasn’t going to amount

to anything in the world around me.

I was treated like the elephant man

at school, people making fun

of the way I walked and ran.

I was told that I should feel shame

for the difficulty that I brought to my family.

I do remember the men who would point out

what they thought was wrong with me,

the reminders that I should be grateful

for their attention and for a long time,

I wondered if I was even worthy of love.

And then I met you.

I don’t remember that feeling of being seen before,

of having someone know me so deeply

that they know me better than I know myself.

I don’t remember the moment that I fell

in love with you because I don’t think

there ever was one single moment.

I think that I just loved you completely

from the moment that I met you

and it took me a while to realize it.

You have never looked at me

as something broken or fragile,

someone who needed to be pitied

or offered pity.

Instead, you see me as a whole person,

capable of anything that I set my mind to.

You believe in me when I don’t believe in myself.

When I look at myself in the mirror,

I don’t see the glass under my skin anymore

because you don’t see me as fragile.

You see me and love me completely, just as I am

and I love you more than words can say.

Even though I know there was a time

before you and I found each other,

I can’t remember my life without you

and can’t wait to see

what the future will bring.

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