Jamieson Wolf
Number-one bestselling author
What We Have Grown Together – A Poem
When I think of that day,
I remember the sound of leaves.
As we walked down the isle
that would begin our new life together,
I could hear the music of my heart
as it beat rapidly in my chest,
not out nervousness, but excitement.
When I looked at you,
I remember thinking:
‘I wished for you. You are a wish made real’.
When we said our vows,
I felt the rapidness of my heart slow
so that my heart could sing
along with the music of the beautiful leaves.
Out of the corner of my eye,
I could see them dancing,
happy that they we had achieved
this moment of bliss.
I knew then that they were the perfect symbol
of the love that had grown between us.
We had both held on to the possibility of love,
real true love that would fill our hearts.
We had finally found that in each other.
When we kissed, sealing our bond,
the beautiful leaves danced around us
and as they flew out the windows,
they showered light upon everyone there.
Yet, they left us a gift.
Between us, a single seed shone,
filling our hearts with its own magic.
Throughout the past six years,
that seed has grown into something
no body could contain.
When I close my eyes,
I can see the tree that we’ve grown,
its roots and branches stretching between us,
linking us together on this path that began
so many years ago.
The tree is covered with all the leaves
that we have grown together,
each one of them a reminder
that magic is real.
Wicked Symphony – A Poem
I’ve been here before.
The trees are so familiar to me now.
I trace my fingertips along the ridges
in the bark that feel like fingerprints.
The leaves of the tree are shades
of red and faded ochre,
but they have dried now,
no longer wet and dripping with
the blood that they once took
from me. The wood is no longer
full of life and is brittle under my touch.
I begin to walk through the forest
that I know so well, the trees which
have taken so much from me.
I can’t hear the birds anymore,
just the sound of the wind through
the leaves. I walk on and leave the forest
behind me, not sure what I will find
at the end of the path beneath my feet.
After the forest, there is only a wide expanse
of grass so green it doesn’t look real.
I can hear my footsteps whispering
along with the sound of my breathing and
the beating of my heart keeping rhythm.
With a few more steps, I see a small hill
in the distance. When I get closer,
I realize the small hill is a mountain.
When I am finally right in front of it, I can see
trees covering its surface, rocks that point
with jagged fingers to higher surfaces,
cliffs that reach out to the sky as if
to embrace it, welcoming the clouds home.
I know that I will have to climb this beast,
get to know each rockface and sharp edge
as well as I had known the forest.
I can hear the whisper of wind moving
through the branches of the trees
covering the mountain and the birds within.
High above me, I can hear the growl of beasts
and the stomp of hooves. All those sounds
mixed with music of my breathing and my heart
make some kind of wicked symphony.
I take one step and reach my hand up to grasp the rock,
feeling a sharp sting and the wetness of blood.
I take a deep breath, that sound adding to the music of my body
and I begin to climb.
When Two Hearts Meet – A Poem
When we met,
I wasn’t expecting to fall in love.
When I heard you speak my name,
I turned to see you for the first time
and my world shifted around me,
though I had no way of knowing it
at the time.
When we met,
I wasn’t looking for someone to complete me.
What I wanted was someone that I could talk to
and whose eyes I could lose myself in.
Thankfully, your eyes were like the calm sea,
filled with blue green water that brought
me peace.
When we met,
I didn’t think I would be able to open my heart to you,
having been hurt so many times. And yet,
I didn’t want our time together to end.
I could have listened to you forever.
Slowly, the sound of your voice broke down the wall.
When we met,
I was afraid of opening the cage that I had put around myself.
It was safer that way and I had less chance of getting hurt.
However, the first time that you took my hand,
and entwined your fingers with mine,
you found the key that helped to open the cage.
When we met,
I had no way of knowing that I had just met
the man who would become my best friend, lover and husband.
I only knew that I wanted to know all of you.
Nine years later, we are still on the journey
of knowing each other.
When we met,
I finally believed that wishes
do come true.
I Will Dream of You – A Poem
When you are away from me,
I lay down in the dark
and imagine stars appearing above me.
The same sky covers you like a blanket,
keeping you safe while you are far
and I know that you see the same stars
that I can see, even if they are
inside of my imagination.
I raise my hand to the black velvet sky
and I draw a line between the stars
so that I can form word for you.
Words like: *joy* and *heart* and *love*
I keep tracing words in the stars,
hoping that you will see them and think of me:
*husband* and *lover* and *best friend*
I don’t know how long I lay there
drawing in the sky with my fingers,
but I begin to hear my heartbeat
and I know that you can hear it, too.
I lay there and I am missing you,
but I know that you are with me
because we share a heart.
I gave you half of mine
and you gave me half or yours.
Even if you can’t see the words
that I’ve written in the stars,
I hope you can feel their light
shining down upon you.
I lay there still and just as I’m about
to let the sweet embrace of sleep claim me,
the stars above my head grow brighter,
just for a moment.
I blink my eyes and
when I can see clearly,
I turn my eyes back to the stars
and see four words written in the stars
that was not written by me:
*I* *will* *dream* *of* *you*
Letting sleep take me,
my sadness fades away
because I know that I will see you
in my dreams.
What I Remember of You – A Poem
I don’t remember
feeling safe within my own body.
I was always treated as if I was delicate,
as if I would break.
I would look at myself in the mirror,
trying to see the glass
that was under my skin.
I was treated like a freak,
told that I was weak,
that I wasn’t going to amount
to anything in the world around me.
I was treated like the elephant man
at school, people making fun
of the way I walked and ran.
I was told that I should feel shame
for the difficulty that I brought to my family.
I do remember the men who would point out
what they thought was wrong with me,
the reminders that I should be grateful
for their attention and for a long time,
I wondered if I was even worthy of love.
And then I met you.
I don’t remember that feeling of being seen before,
of having someone know me so deeply
that they know me better than I know myself.
I don’t remember the moment that I fell
in love with you because I don’t think
there ever was one single moment.
I think that I just loved you completely
from the moment that I met you
and it took me a while to realize it.
You have never looked at me
as something broken or fragile,
someone who needed to be pitied
or offered pity.
Instead, you see me as a whole person,
capable of anything that I set my mind to.
You believe in me when I don’t believe in myself.
When I look at myself in the mirror,
I don’t see the glass under my skin anymore
because you don’t see me as fragile.
You see me and love me completely, just as I am
and I love you more than words can say.
Even though I know there was a time
before you and I found each other,
I can’t remember my life without you
and can’t wait to see
what the future will bring.
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Jamieson Wolf has written a compelling story about navigating multiple sclerosis and cerebral palsy. His story will touch your heart, make you cry, then laugh, and inspire you. A touching memoir with a bit of magic…and tarot! ~ Theresa Reed, author of The Tarot Coloring Book
Jamieson Wolf 