What I Remember of You – A Poem

I don’t remember

feeling safe within my own body.

I was always treated as if I was delicate,

as if I would break.

I would look at myself in the mirror,

trying to see the glass

that was under my skin.

I was treated like a freak,

told that I was weak,

that I wasn’t going to amount

to anything in the world around me.

I was treated like the elephant man

at school, people making fun

of the way I walked and ran.

I was told that I should feel shame

for the difficulty that I brought to my family.

I do remember the men who would point out

what they thought was wrong with me,

the reminders that I should be grateful

for their attention and for a long time,

I wondered if I was even worthy of love.

And then I met you.

I don’t remember that feeling of being seen before,

of having someone know me so deeply

that they know me better than I know myself.

I don’t remember the moment that I fell

in love with you because I don’t think

there ever was one single moment.

I think that I just loved you completely

from the moment that I met you

and it took me a while to realize it.

You have never looked at me

as something broken or fragile,

someone who needed to be pitied

or offered pity.

Instead, you see me as a whole person,

capable of anything that I set my mind to.

You believe in me when I don’t believe in myself.

When I look at myself in the mirror,

I don’t see the glass under my skin anymore

because you don’t see me as fragile.

You see me and love me completely, just as I am

and I love you more than words can say.

Even though I know there was a time

before you and I found each other,

I can’t remember my life without you

and can’t wait to see

what the future will bring.