Jamieson Wolf
Number-one bestselling author
Within Me – A Poem
Every time I look into the mirror,
I see my faults and imperfections:
lazy eye,
missing teeth,
the belly that won’t disappear no matter how much exercise I do.
Thinning hair,
the scars on my body.
And even though they aren’t visible,
I see the two beings which reside inside of me:
Cedric Paulsen and Max Shadow.
Sometimes,
it is like they are a slow steady throb within my body,
emanating from my skin in a harsh black light.
But then I close my eyes,
and within the darkness I can truly see.
I see the kindness that shines its own light to scatter the blackness.
In the darkness,
I can see that light growing and changing,
like the ebb and flow of water.
I am more than my imperfections,
more than just a gap tooth,
a lazy eye,
or the disease and disability that run through my body.
I am a being of light,
bright and beautiful.
Within me,
I carry the breath of the universe.
I carry love,
perhaps the most powerful of magics.
Within me,
I carry a voice that often laughs out loud as if in song,
I carry courage and bravery,
and with my imagination,
I am the creator of worlds.
Within me,
I carry the impossible dream that finds life in the possible.
I open my eyes and look into the mirror again,
and see myself as I am.
Even Now – A Poem
Even now,
when I look at you,
I can hear the leaves.
It is not the clatter of leaves
after a heavy rain,
laden down with moisture.
Instead, it is the rustle
and whisper of leaves
dancing in air that is
thick with heat.
When you took my hand
as we said our vows,
I could hear them
falling all around us.
As we danced,
I could hear them
sliding along the floor
as we moved in time
to the beat of our hearts.
I looked for them,
but could not see them.
When you hold me,
I can hear them
swirling around us,
encircling us as if dancing.
Even now,
all these years later,
you still fill me
with beautiful light
that has only grown brighter.
When you tell me that
you love me,
and we share a kiss,
I can hear them
riffling through the air with joy.
When the kiss ends,
I turn to look out at the sun.
I can see the leaves filling the sky,
flying up into the air,
carrying our love
into the clouds.
Fire with Fire by Michelle St. James – A Book Review
Damian Cavallo is at a crossroads.
He lives a life of crime, but it’s his life. He lives comfortably and does what he can to make the city of New York a better place. If that sometimes involves violence, so be it. He was ruthless because it was the only way he knew how to be. On his own since the death of his parents, he has known no other way…until a visit from Farrell Black changes things.
Nico Vitale, newly reinstated head of the syndicate, has noticed trouble brewing and has sent Farrell to enlist Damian’s help. Primo Fiore has gotten out of hand and is taking control. Some of the things he has been doing have gotten Nico’s attention: human trafficking, drugs and violence. Things have gotten out of hand.
At first, Damian is reluctant to accept help from Farrell and Nico, sure that he has things under control. However, the prospect of greater strength and having the backing of the mob is tempting. He is also offered control of the New York district of the mob, should he accept their offer.
Damian is willing to do a trial run through and, should he be able to take down Primo, Damian will consider their offer. There’s just one catch: Primo’s sister Aria Fiore. Damian already knows that he will do anything he can not to hurt her. What he isn’t counting on is his attraction to her…
Aria Fiore didn’t choose a life of crime. It chose her. After the death of her parents, Primo has taken care of her. If that meant that he turned to a life of crime to provide for her, she was okay with that as long as she turned a blind eye to the things he was doing. However, lately Primo has become mentally unstable and is being controlled by a man more ruthless than he is. She loves her brother but knows he’s heading for trouble.
When Damian visits Primo and gives him an offer to step aside, Primo refuses. Aria hears her brother planning an all-out war against Damian. Aria knows that the only way to save her brother is to go to Carvallo and let him know what is about to happen. She pleads with him to spare her brother as he’s the only family that she has left.
Neither of them are prepared for the attraction that blooms along their skin. When Aria’s life is put in danger, that attraction erupts into a full-fledged fire…
What I love most about Michelle’s writing are the characters. These are not your typical cardboard, cookie cutter characters that people romance novels. These are people of real flesh and blood that you grow to care for as you read. They have depth and heart and substance. There are some returning characters from earlier novels by St. James and it was like seeing old friends again.
What makes this novel so strong, though, is the love that builds slowly between Damian and Aria. Both of them are hurting and both are drifting in a sea of loneliness. They gather strength from each other and take courage from what begins to spark between them.
Make no mistake, St. James doesn’t shy away from the difficult storylines. She deals with physical abuse and neglect, the plight of orphans and looking for something better in this world; but she does it all with the skill and the depth I’ve come to love and appreciate from her work.
To say that I loved this book would be putting it mildly. I lived this book, right alongside Aria and Damian. The characters lit a fire under my skin and I can’t wait to find out what happens in book two of the New York Syndicate!
You can get your copy here: https://www.amazon.ca/Fire-New-York-Syndicate-Book-ebook/dp/B072BF9F8V/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1499729884&sr=8-1&keywords=fire+with+fire+Michelle+St+james
Phoenix Rising – A Poem
I am walking
down the street
when the first
feather begins to
emerge from my
skin. It is a
beautiful red hue,
and I can feel
the wind ruffle
the feather. It
feels like a
caress along my
skin and it
feels wonderful. By
the time I
am at the
bus stop, I
have grown twenty
more. Standing there,
waiting for the
bus to arrive,
a woman says:
“Are you like, one of those shape shifters?”
I turn to
look at her
and she is
smiling so brightly
that it is
like she is
carrying light within.
“I don’t think so, no.”
She gives me
a knowing look
and then winks
at me in
a roguish way.
“Well, then you must be in love.
My mother was in love once and she turned into a cardinal.”
I let out
a laugh that
made her shine
even brighter. More
feathers slid out
of my skin,
covering my arms.
“Why did she turn into a cardinal?”
The woman put
a finger to
her chin in
thought for a
moment and said:
“Well, the way she told it was,
people who are in love are changed in some way.
The bird they change into always reflects their love.”
I thought about
the thousands of
birds there were
in the world
and wondered if
any of them
were people in
love. I felt
a thrill of
fire on my
skin. Looked and
saw that it
was now almost
completely covered in
feathers, each one
a different red,
so that when
I moved my
arm, it looked
like fire. I
faced the woman
again and her
mouth was open
in wonder and awe.
“You’re turning into a phoenix!
I bet your love is magical, isn’t it?”
She gave me
another brilliant smile.
“It is.”
I said softly.
“Pheonix’s are rare. Your man must be special.”
She reached out
and took my
hand. I watched
as it softly
formed into a
wide, wing of fire.
“Incredibly special. He’s magic.”
She clapped with
glee and made
a shooing motion
with her hand.
“Then what are you doing here, talking to me?
Go on now, fly on home.”
I nodded and
felt myself growing
smaller and lighter.
The old woman
lifted me up
in her hands
and lifted me
way up high
so that the
wind could take
hold of me.
As the wind
took hold of
my wings and
I knew flight
for the first
time, I looked
down and saw
that the woman
had transformed into
a dove of
the purest white,
so bright that
she glowed softly.
As I watched
her fly away,
I wondered who
she loved.
How Far I’ve Come – A Poem
To the person that said:
“How’s the MS? You’re looking a little shaky today”,
I can say only this:
Thank You.
Thank you for reminding me,
through your concern,
how far I’ve come.
Today,
towards the end of the workday,
I could feel my spoons dwindling.
I only had two,
maybe three left.
Inside of me,
Max Shadow and Cybil Paulsen are always waiting,
hoping,
wishing for a moment where I am weakened.
It’s a constant struggle,
one I tackle every day.
Even when I have a lot of spoons,
the battle between them will rage on within me,
so I’m never sure who is causing what.
If the spasms,
fatigue,
brain fog,
difficulty speaking,
lack of motor control or dragging feet are caused by Cybil or by Max.
There was a time,
not so very long ago,
when I couldn’t walk and where life was only shadow and smoke.
I almost didn’t get up.
I very nearly,
almost,
stopped.
Then,
later,
after I gathered my strength and my spirit and clasped them together in an embrace,
I walked with a cane.
Eventually,
I was able to let go of the cane and just walk.
Now,
my feet have taken me everywhere,
to other worlds,
places I never dreamed that I would go,
even with Max Shadow and Cybil playing tug of war within my skin.
They are unpredictable houseguests.
I never know what they are going to do,
or how many spoons they will use.
But it doesn’t matter.
I will keep getting up,
I will keep going,
I will live.
So,
even if my legs are shaky,
or my speech is slurred,
even if my brain filled with cobwebs and pixie dust or my body exhausted,
I will live and remember how far I’ve come.
Buy Little Yellow Magnet from Amazon and Kobo!
Jamieson Wolf has written a compelling story about navigating multiple sclerosis and cerebral palsy. His story will touch your heart, make you cry, then laugh, and inspire you. A touching memoir with a bit of magic…and tarot! ~ Theresa Reed, author of The Tarot Coloring Book
Jamieson Wolf 