Jamieson Wolf
Number-one bestselling author
The Gift of One Word – A Poem
I haven’t spoken
to you in
nineteen years. Though
you are the
other half of
me, the mirror
of my physical
self, words between
us are few.
They float along
the water between
us, trying to
find their way
to you. The
words are simple.
Words or phrases like:
I love you. I miss you. I want to know who you are again.
The words sink
in the water
between us, as
your ports are
closed, as is
your heart. You
don’t hear what
I have been
saying for so
long. My words
are but smoke
signals to you
which you choose
not to see.
Finally, I heard
a fog horn,
blaring from your
shores. It was
just one word
flying across the
ocean between us:
Thank-you.
It was the
most you had
said to me
in nineteen years.
It was like
a rainbow, shining
across the sky,
from you to
me. If I
go another nineteen
years without hearing
from you, that
one word will be
gift enough.
The Perfect Mess of Living – A Poem
“I don’t know where it comes from.”
I told her.
“This need for perfection. I’m far too hard on myself.”
She looked at
me, her lips
pursed in thought.
“Maybe that’s why you got MS.”
She said. I
looked at her.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, the MS is trying to teach you that perfection doesn’t exist. That’s why it was given to you.”
I was shocked
by her words.
She spoke of
MS like it
was a gift.
I knew that
everything happened for
a reason, but
that didn’t ring
true for me.
“I think you’re over reaching.”
I said quietly.
“There’s no rhyme or reason why a person gets MS.”
She thought my
words over but
continued undaunted nonetheless.
“Well, think about it. It’s trying to teach you something. It’s teaching you that you’re no longer perfect, that you have to learn to live with that.”
I remained quiet,
changed the subject.
Walking home, I
the conversation stayed
with me, words
trailing behind me
like a mist
as I tried
to make sense
of them. I
thought she had
the wrong of
it. The MS
wasn’t trying to
teach me about
perfection or my
lack thereof. I
thought harder, the
mist gathering like
a summer storm,
filled with hope
and wishes. I
could feel it
sparkling behind me,
its touch on
my skin like
rain. I knew
that my life
was different now
and that everything
did happen for
a reason, whether
we understood it
or not. So what
was the MS
trying to teach
me? I felt
a tug on
my arm. Looking
behind me, I
noticed a being
made entirely out
of mist vapours.
He looked like
shadow given a
more physical form.
“Who are you?”
He looked at
me but said
nothing. The light
that sparkled from
him grew brighter
and in that
light, I saw
beauty, I could
see solar systems
and stars. The
shape let out
a sigh, the
sound of wind
during summer,
and floated back
into me. I
was filled with
understanding then. I
knew that the
MS was a
gift in a
way. It taught
me thankfulness, it
taught me strength,
it taught me
courage. It showed
me what all
of those were.
I resolved then
and there to
just breathe, to
live and enjoy
every day and
to continue living
my life, come
what may. I
made a promise
to myself: that
I would not
search so hard
for perfection when
it didn’t exist
and to let
go of hurts
that didn’t need
to be there,
to ease up
on myself and
embrace the perfect
mess that I was.
Everything else was
living.
Ruthless: Mob Boss Book One by Michelle St. James – A Book Review
Angelica Bondesan yearns for a different life.
Two years out of college, she wonders if the rest of her life will be filled with hours at the Muddy Cup as a barista. She knows that she needs direction in her life-she just has no idea which direction she wants to go in.
The only spot of brightness in her life was her brother David. With her mother gone and her father often absent in her life, he was all she had. She is constantly trying to bridge the gap between her brother and her father, but to no avail. Angelica hopes that something, anything, will change.
Then things do change when she is kidnapped. She’s thrown into a room and held captive for reasons unknown to her. However, the reasons almost cease to matter when she meets her captor: the dangerous and handsome Nico Vitale.
He’s the boss of New York City’s crime family. After his parents were murdered in an execution style killing, he took control. Nico wants answers and Angelica is the key to them. Angelica is prepared to resist Nico. What she doesn’t count on is his kindness, his strength or her growing attraction to him.
Then she learns a family secret that shatters her entire world. Her whole life is not what she thought it was. Angelica has only one option: help Nico learn the truth so that she can finally figure out if loving him is a valid option…
My meagre plot summary doesn’t do this book justice. It comes nowhere to capturing the rapid fire plot that seems to flip the pages almost turn themselves, nor does it capture characters so real, so vibrant, that they live beyond the page.
It also fails to capture the incredible passion and the amazing love scenes that set the pages on fire. I have read hundreds of romance novels, but none of them have come close to Ruthless by Michelle St. James.
Of course, Michelle St. James is the pseudonym of Michelle Zink. So I already know that she can tell a flat out fantastic amazing story. I also knew that Michelle could write passionate love scenes with aplomb-she showed that she could do so with her Shadowguard Trilogy of novellas. I was left breathless after those three short books and wondered what Zink could do with the space of a full length romance novel.
After reading Ruthless, I don’t have to wonder any longer. Ruthless is the work of a master of the romance genre.
Yes, the love scenes are incredibly hot, but it’s more than that. What I loved most about Ruthless was that it wasn’t just about the love scenes. Michelle has given us a novel that goes beyond the typical mob boss novel. She breaks stereotypes established by mob novels and instead of a man driven to kill for no reason and poses a woman, she’s created Nico Vitale.
I love the twist she’s given the book in Nico. He doesn’t kill if he doesn’t have to and he takes care of his own. More than that, despite the situation they are in and the attraction he has to Angelica, he wants her to want him and will only take her completely when she does.
He’s a man with depth, with heart and with honour. Despite the unkindness done to him, he knows there is a right way to do things and a wrong way.
Zink has given us everything we could want and more in Ruthless. I can’t wait until Mob Boss Book Two: Fearless comes out in September! I can’t wait to read Ruthless all over again!
Stone and Fog – A Poem
I look out
at the world
from inside of
a brain fog.
It is a
storm that casts
its shadow on
everything I see.
I try to
speak but my
tongue doesn’t move
the right way.
Words are like
stones that fall
from my mouth,
uncoordinated and heavy.
I try to
gather them as
they fall and
arrange them in
some semblance of
order. I look
down into my
hands to see
the stones that
have fallen but
the fog is
heavy and they
don’t make sense:
I an many than me symposium. I an younger than I knew.
I let more
words fall from
my mouth and
catch them. I
can feel their
warmth and they
pulse with unsaid
meaning. I try
to arrange them
in some order:
I an many than me symptoms. I am younger than I know.
The right words
pulse in different
colours inside my
mind, shining through
the fog. I
merely have to
get my lips
to say the
right ones. I
try once more,
pronouncing my words
slowly, trying to
speak past the fog.
It takes all
of my effort
to do so:
I am more than my symptoms. I am stronger than I know.
When the right
words are uttered,
they act like
a spell that
chases away the
fog. It dissipates
with a wooshing
sound that leaves
me breathless for
a moment. The
fog will be
back, I know
this. However, I
will be ready.
Reaching for the Sun – A Poem
Two years ago, 
there was only
darkness. My body
had rebelled against
me, shifting its
shape into something
new and, at
the time, utterly
terrifying. It was
the unknown of
how my life
would become that
I found most
frightening of all.
I hid inside
my hovel of
an apartment, the
forest growing ever
closer, the trees
growing larger by
the day. In
the space of
a couple of
weeks, I could
smell only the
trees and soil.
I gave up
and lay down
on the forest
floor, letting the
earth overtake me.
In a matter
of moments, there
was only darkness,
sweet, blissful and
cool. I relaxed
to the inevitable,
what my life
was now. Slowly,
though, something started
to happen. There
was a tingling
sensation that started
in my legs
and began to
work its way
up my body.
I felt something
in my skin
escape my body
and it began
to twist and
turn into the
soil. I could
hear it whispering
as it found
its way. I
began to see
light, finding its
way through chinks
and holes in
the dirt. The light
was brighter than
the darkness and
began to chase
away the shadows.
As I watched,
the holes became
wider as if
the ground were
moving. I realized,
when I felt
the pull on
my legs from
whatever had found its
way into the dirt,
that I was
the one in
movement, rising toward
the surface. In
an instant, I
broke free, staring
at the sun
and taking in
my first breath
of real air.
I marvelled at
Its beauty, at
the warmth and
heat of the
sun, how nourishing
it was after
so long in
the shadowy dark.
I looked down
at my feet
and realized what
the sensation had
been. I had
grown roots and
had been planted
in the very
earth itself. At
the time, I
didn’t know what
would be coming,
but I did
know that there
was really only
one option left
to me. I had
only to grow.
I had only
to reach for
the sun and
beyond, no matter
what came. I
was not who
I had been
but had grown
into something more.
I had only
to reach for
the sun and
continue growing to
find out what
I had become.
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Jamieson Wolf has written a compelling story about navigating multiple sclerosis and cerebral palsy. His story will touch your heart, make you cry, then laugh, and inspire you. A touching memoir with a bit of magic…and tarot! ~ Theresa Reed, author of The Tarot Coloring Book
Jamieson Wolf 