Jamieson Wolf
Number-one bestselling author
Happy Birthday little Yellow Magnet!
On March 3rd, 2019, Little Yellow Magnet was published and sent out into the world. It’s the most difficult book that I’ve ever written. Thus, it’s also the one that I’m most proud of.
In 2018 I sat down to write a little book on positivity. People were always asking me how I stayed so positive living with Multiple Sclerosis and Cerebral Palsy. Being a writer, I thought I would write a book on positivity and positive thinking that would hopefully help others.
I called it Mastering Self, see what I did there? I thought to link the title to MS in some way as the MS had truly taught me what I was capable of. The only problem? I got to page twenty-nine before I realized that it wasn’t working.
By focusing on only the positive elements of my experiences with Multiple Sclerosis, I was ignoring all the work that I had done on myself and ignoring everything that I had been through. Just focusing on the positive wasn’t working. It was like the Coles Notes version of my life.
I had learned a lot from the dark. I learned what I’m capable of and how to sparkle as brightly as the stars. In the darkness, I could finally see how brightly I shone. I had been through so much to get to where I was that I knew that I had to write everything, every moment, not just the happy ones.
When I started writing Little Yellow Magnet, really started, it felt like I was coming home to myself in a way. Someone asked me during the writing of it why I felt I had to write the book. I said that it wasn’t so much that I felt I had to. I was compelled to write it. It was my hope that if Little Yellow Magnet helped just one person, then my book had fulfilled its purpose.
It was so wonderful to let everything out, too. During the writing of Little Yellow Magnet, I realised how much I had been holding on to, how much I still hadn’t let go of. The memoir was a cathartic adventure through my life and I could finally see how very high I had been able to climb.
To celebrate Little Yellow Magnet’s second Birthday, I have two gifts for you.
The first one is that you can read Little Yellow Magnet for free. From March 4th to March 8th, you can download the ebook of Little Yellow Magnet from Amazon. If you read it, all I ask is that you review it on Amazon, or anywhere else you like to post book reviews. You can download it here:
The second gift that I have for you is that you can also read the original seed for Little Yellow Magnet: Mastering Self. It contains all twenty-nine pages of the original attempt at what became Little Yellow Magnet. I like how you can see what the memoir would become, even within those twenty-nine pages. It’s like a companion to the memoir, the seed that grew into full bloom.
I hope you enjoy it and that it inspires you to read Little Yellow Magnet so you can find what happened. You can download it here free. It’s in PDF format and free to read.
Little Yellow Magnet is available in ebook, paperback and audiobook. Whichever way you read it, I hope that the story takes you on an adventure.
Everyone with Little Yellow Magnet a very Happy Birthday!
The Light Of Your Love – A Poem
Even now,
you have the power
to leave me breathless.
You are always able to see me
as I truly am and you love me,
even when I cannot.
You love the parts of me
that I hide in shadow
and you pull them out into the light
so that I can see myself completely.
You have taught me a language
that doesn’t need words
that I share only with you.
Just as you see all of me,
I see all of you and love you completely.
When I look at you,
I can see only light.
You have no idea
how the light of your love
has changed my life
and made it better.
My love for you deepens
with each passing day,
and every passing minute.
Throughout the journey
that we’ve been on,
we’ve done it together,
always walking beside one another,
supporting each other.
Every day with you is a gift
and all the moments in between,
the waking and sleeping
that links all those days together.
When I close my eyes,
I can see both of our hearts
beating as one.
There is a light that comes from them
and I can see that light
every time I look at you.
I Am The River – A Poem
I’ve forgotten who I am.
Lately,
I seem to exist in this constant haze,
never sure if I’m living or if I’m merely existing.
The fog,
omnipotent and omnipresent,
fills my mind.
I try to see past the fog,
slipping my fingers into it,
trying to part it as if the fog were a curtain.
Some days,
I am successful.
Beyond the fog there is a river and,
even when I can’t see the cool and crystalline water,
I can hear it as it rushes over the rocks.
If I listen to the water closely,
it sounds like someone is singing.
I try to look further through the fog so that I can see who the voice belongs to,
but the fog closes in,
becoming a wall that I cannot see past,
even as I try to dig my fingers into it,
trying to pull it open once more.
In the fog,
there are voices,
those of people from my past or from people I used to be,
the ones that never thought I was good enough,
that I am not deserving of what I have.
I cover my ears,
trying to stop the voices from getting in,
and yet there is still sound.
It’s the singing I’ve heard upon the crystalline waters,
the voice I’ve heard beyond the fog.
As it’s voice soars,
I hear it from within me and I realize that the voice is mine,
that the song I heard was my own.
As I stand there,
the fog whispering around me,
I close my eyes and watch as the song lights a flame within me.
It comes to light and grows stronger as the voice continues to sing.
I am the river and the fog,
the light within my body and my physical self.
I know that I will have to keep this flame alight,
that I must somehow see it across the river.
This gives me focus,
hope,
that I will find my way through.
Clare at Sixteen by Don Roff – A Book Review
Clare Marie Bleecker is just like every other sixteen-year-old girl, full of hope and dreams and thoughts of boys…also, she’s a serial killer.
Living with her grandparents, Clare goes to the local Catholic school and she only kills those who deserve it. Men who would drive by and try to pick up young girls, for instance. She’s good at heart, she’s a vegan, loves animals and kills people. Hey, everyone has their own problems, right?
Except Clare’s problems are just beginning. Pickman Flats is a small town known for its wineries. Dead bodies tend to stick out. When the body of a man is found, a witness says that they saw a young girl in a DeFeo Catholic High School uniform walking away from the car and that young girl matches Clare’s description. Just because she killed the guy doesn’t make her guilty, though.
Soon, the police are everywhere she is. They question Clare and her friends at school, but Clare keeps cool. She knows that it was really other Clare that took over so she feels no guilt over what she did. Clare has other things to worry about. She has auditions for a play, has to avoid the popular bitch brigade, spend time with her friend Julie and wonder if anything will ever happen with Wade or Truman. She’s just a regular high school girl, except for the fact that she kills people.
Then her world gets turned upside down. She spots a guy who looks exactly like the man she killed earlier and he’s driving the same car. She follows him to his house and knows that it holds secrets she needs answers to. Clare has no idea that her problems are about to get so much worse.
She must remember the cardinal rule: slay responsibly…
I loved everything about this book. When I picked it up, I thought I would read about a typical sixteen-year-old girl, but there is nothing typical about Clare. The serial killing aside, she is surprisingly deep and so reasonable when she’s talking to you. This is not a Hannibal Lector psycho who shows no remorse. This is a girl with deep feelings and deep emotions. I was so impressed by Don Roff’s writing. I started the book expecting not to like her, but I actually rooted for her and wanted her to get away with what she was done. She’s a killer with a conscience.
Don Roff is also skilled at creating characters that are so real. You’d think that Clare at Sixteen would hold all the stereotypical characters like the jocks and the dorky best friend and the popular girls. It does…but not in the way you think. Roff gives everyone enough screen time so that they defy the stereotypes and become their own people. I really admire that skill in a novel that’s set in and around a high school. The world that Roff created around Clare came alive. I grew up in suburbia and he’s brought it to life brilliantly.
Told in rapid fire chapters, Calre at Sixteen just pulls you in and doesn’t let go. I think what is so wonderful about Clare at Sixteen is the humanness about it. Clare is a killer that I actually cared for. She is a character and a killer with undeniable depth and wonderful taste in music. I wanted her to succeed and perhaps even to thrive. I’m not sure what that says about me, but I am waiting eagerly for the next book in the series.
Until then, slay responsibly…
Forgotten Truths – Flash Fiction
This is my first flash fiction using The Story Engine, created by Peter Chiykowski. It had to include a curious Explorer wants to stop being haunted by a necklace but they will have to learn something difficult. I set myself a limit of 1,000 words. Check out The Story Engine here: https://storyenginedeck.myshopify.com/
Cedric knew that he was in trouble when he began to dream of the fucking thing.
He saw the dammed necklace every night when he closed his eyes. He would be having a really good naughty dream with some naked guy and they were getting all horned up and then Cedric would turn to look at the man he was with and the fucker would be wearing the necklace. Cedric wished he had never seen the fucking thing.
“I still don’t see why you’re upset about this.” Jonathan said. “Why are you going on about a stupid necklace. You have your next job lined up, don’t you? You’re supposed to scour the jungle to find some elusive statue or something, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Then we should go and do that, and you can stop moaning about a necklace.”
Cedric gave Jonathan an eye roll. “What will you be doing while I’m up to my neck in jungle leaves?”
“I’ll be keeping the bed warm and taste testing the locally made mai tais of course.” Jonathan blew Cedric a kiss. “Why can’t you let this go?”
“I don’t know.” Cedric shook his head, but it didn’t make things any clearer. “I have no fucking idea. I had it in m hands and I just let it go.”
He really had no idea why it haunted him so much, only that he had to have it. Why would he want lapis lazuli necklace? What was the call it had over him? He shook his head again and it still didn’t help.
“Honey, you gotta chill.” Jonathan said, running his fingers through his curling dark hair to get it off of his face. Cedric loved it when Jonathan did this because his bright green eyes were even more visible. “If this necklace is bothering you so much, you have to go find it.”
“I already know where it is.”
“Of course you do, fancy explorer man. So, go and find it and bring it home.” A look crossed over Jonathan’s face and his eyes darkened form jade to agate. “Wait, why are you wearing that look on your face? That’s the one you usually wear when you’ve woken up next to someone you don’t remember.”
“How do you know what that look is?”
“Because it was the first time you woke up next to me and had no idea who the fuck I was. Good thing I stayed around, huh? Hard to believe that was three years ago.”
“Hard to believe?”
“I wondered if you’d pick up on that. What’s the big deal? Go find this trick that you fucked and then get the necklace. I don’t really see what the big deal is.”
Cedric nodded and pulled on a pair of pants and a t-shirt and a pair of sneakers. “I’ll be gone for a bit.”
“Oh no honey, you can’t just head off into the mysterious unknown. I’m coming with you. Besides, I’m the one that has the car. What you want to go exploring on the subway?” Jonathan snorted. “Good luck with that.” He threw on a t-shirt of his own and a pair of khaki pants. “Just let me get my wallet and then we can go.”
“You really don’t have to do this.” Cedric said. “You won’t enjoy this.”
“I’ll be the judge of that. Come on explorer boy, let’s go.”
When they were ready, they went to the garage and got into Jonathan’s car. It was a subdued little black hatchback. When Cedric had commented on the relative plainness of Jonathan’s, Jonathan had just smiled. “Honey, I sparkle brightly enough for five cars!” Cedric had to admit that he had a point.
“Where are we going?”
“Underground.”
They didn’t talk as they made their way to the subway. Cedric knew exactly which one they had to go to; hadn’t location sprung to mind every time he thought of the necklace? They went down the stairs and paid their ticket to get in. Jonathan followed Cedric who knew exactly where to go. Cedric only hoped that the woman was still there.
They went down even further where the trains went that took you to the west, further away from the city. It wasn’t very busy as there wasn’t much out in the west side, just industrial factories and business parks. You only went there if you had business there.
“Where are we going?” Jonathan asked.
“We’re almost there.” Cedric said.
He led Jonathan down one hallway and then another. They were heading deep into the subterrain levels of the subway station. Hardly anyone ever came down here. The air in this place was stale and the only sound around them were the far-off trains heading west. Then they began to hear music and Cedric knew that they were close.
As they walked further into the empty hallways, the music increased until it was all around them, the voice echoing off of the walls and the high ceilings. Before Cedric was ready, they were standing in front of a woman who sat on the tiled ground. Her head was arched to the ceiling and her eyes were closed. She looked as if she were singing in prayer. Her voice echoed off of the tiles around them and Cedric knew that though the song had no words, this was a song of pain and suffering. He knew that he had been the one to cause that pain. Around her neck was the lapis lazuli necklace, looking as it had all those years ago.
When she was done, there was silence, broken only by her deep breathing and the echo that remained of her song. Cedric took a deep breath of his own and let it out. He repeated this twice more and then cleared his throat.
The woman opened her eyes and they were just as blue as he remembered them, a colour that was reflected in the stone of the necklace.
He took another deep breath. “Hello, Mother.” Cedric said.
Buy Little Yellow Magnet from Amazon and Kobo!
Jamieson Wolf has written a compelling story about navigating multiple sclerosis and cerebral palsy. His story will touch your heart, make you cry, then laugh, and inspire you. A touching memoir with a bit of magic…and tarot! ~ Theresa Reed, author of The Tarot Coloring Book
Jamieson Wolf 