The Best Books of 2019!

Every year, I post a list of books that stood out from the crowd for me, that drew me in and kept me spellbound. This year, it was so difficult to narrow the list down to only ten books…so I cheated and there are eleven books on this year’s list. There were so many great reads in 2019. These are the ones that stood out for me. This year is particularly different for me because four of the books on my list are non-fiction. That’s never happened before as the list is usually full of novels. Without further ado, here are my Best Books of 2019.

The Starless Sky by Erin Morgenstern 

I heart this book. You know that kind of book that you just sit back after finishing a book and you’re just so moved? You wonder if you’ll ever read something so good again? Yeah, that’s this book. The Starless Sea tells the story of Zachary Ezra Rawlins. He is the son of a fortune teller and a grad student. He discovers a book called Sweet Sorrows that draws him deeper and deeper towards a mysterious world that is full of doors and wonders. A bee, a key and a sword lead him to meet his destiny, whether he knows it or not. It’s a book about books, about the power of stories, about the journey’s that we make within the pages of a book. I’ve read it once and listened to the audiobook and I can’t wait to read it again.

Daughter of Family G. by Ami McKay

I love Ami McKay’s novels, but I was held spellbound by her memoir. It’s told in three different narratives, as McKay puts it in history memory and being. She weaves stories from before she was born, in her past and during the time she was working on this book. The result is a patchwork quilt of strength, resilience and perseverance. Ultimately, this is a memoir about the cancer that runs in her family and the mutation that she carries in her blood, but it is also a book about love, about the choices that one makes and the power that comes from choosing to fight, choosing to live. This is a memoir about cancer, but it is also about love and fate and family. I heart this book so very much and have read it twice.

A Postcard from Italy by Alex Brown

I love all of Alex Brown’s books, but this one is my favourite. It’s just so damn lovely. Cora’s world has fallen apart and she has found herself the caregiver for her mother who is bedridden. She has become a shut in and is almost agoraphobic. She goes out only to go to work where she goes through storage lockers that have been abandoned. Within Unit 28, she finds a world of treasures: clothes and jewelry and diaries are among other treasures belonging to Constance de Donato. The stories contained in those diaries lead Cora on her own journey where she learns that her story is only beginning. There is so much warmth here in Brown’s words. She has truly brought Italy alive in this gorgeous and wonderful novel. Like every novel by Alex Brown, it goes beyond the genre of women’s fiction to create a genre all of her own. Cora’s journey is told with grace and I can’t wait to read it again.

Over the Top: A Raw Journey to Self-Love by Jonathan Van Ness

Van Ness writes his tale with aplomb. His memoir is about the rough and turbulent journey to finding himself and his purpose. I really identified with this book, with Jonathan Van Ness’ message. His honesty really brought me in, really showed me that, despite obstacles, it was and is still possible to shine. I love the fact that his voice is so clear on the page. After reading it, I listened to the audiobook and it was like sitting down with a friend to let them tell me their tale. Heartwarming, honest, brutal and beautiful, this book just touched something within me. I can’t wait to read it again and I heart Jonathan Van Ness. I can only wish to sparkle as brightly as he does.

Black Leopard, Red Wolf by Marlon James

If I had to sum this book up in one word, it would be EPIC. This is a fantasy that gives us the mythology of Tracker, a man who has a good nose for finding things. They say that he is part wolf. He is asked to help track down a child that has gone missing and befriends the red leopard, a shape shifter. To find the boy, they must defeat moon witches, ogres, trolls and even the beasts within themselves. I loved how the story pulled from mythologies of Africa and was unapologetically gory and glorious. I also loved how the GLBT element of the novel and there was no need for one of the characters to say they were gay; they just were. It was a wonderful book filled with magic and mind candy. I read the hardcover and listened to the audiobook. I can hardly wait for the second book in the trilogy!

Love Lives Here by Amanda Jette Knox

I loved everything about this memoir. Knox tells her story of what happens when first her child comes out as trans and then her spouse coming out as trans as well. We follow Knox through the beginnings of her marriage up until present day. We are there with her for the ups and downs, through figuring out how to help first her child and then her partner. I was held spellbound by this memoir and finished it in two days. I have lots of trans friends, but up until now, I didn’t get what they go through to become who they really are. Knox gives us a true life tale of how one family first survives and then thrives and how they choose love over everything. Such a glorious book and one I read and then listened to on audiobook. I can’t wait to read it again.

The Stealth Lovers by Cait Gordon

I love me so me some Xax and Viv. They were my favourite characters from Life in the ‘Cosm so I was thrilled when Gordon announced that she had written a prequel! A whole book with Xax and Viv? Yes please! I heart this novel. Filled with military action, humour and so much sass, I laughed out loud reading this book. I was also incredibly moved. Gordon writes about the difficulties for GLBT people in the military but does it with class. You learn how Xax and Viv met, how they earned their nickname and throughout, you get to experience Gordon’s wonderful world building and her characters are so lovely that by the end of the novel I felt like I knew all of them. If you want a book filled with dangerous missions, fabulous characters and so much sass, get this book!

Murder at the Worlds Fair M.J. Lyons

M. J. Lyons has penned a fantastic treat of a novel. It takes place in 1893 and is filled with so full of steampunk goodness. The New World Exhibition has come to Toronto with all kinds of technologies to thrill the patrons: automatons, clockwork contraptions and things that will fill visitors with excitement. Norwood Quigley is a young journalist who is sent to photograph the exhibition. There is only one problem: He witnesses a murder! Time is short but thrills are high to find the killer. I love the world that Lyons has created. It is done so skillfully that I wanted to travel back in time to live in this world. Lyons has so much skill at telling a tall tale. I couldn’t help but be pulled into Norwood’s story and pulled along on an adventure that I won’t soon forget. This is an incredible book! I can’t wait to read the sequel!

Tarot for Troubled Times by Shaheen Miro and Theresa Reed

If you follow me on social media, you’ll know that I love all things tarot. There’s just something about how the cards can see so far and so wide, how they can give me the tools I need to take on what life has to offer. Theresa Reed and Shaheen Miro are two tarot readers and mystics whom I love. They have written a book that is different than any other book on tarot I’ve read. It looks at the shadow side of life and how we can use the cards to thrive. They go in depth about how you can use the cards to befriend your shadow side, how you can really empower yourself if/when you find yourself in darkness. The book is full of affirmations, advice, tarot spreads and so much heart. It has all the tools you need to make yourself a shining beacon of light, no matter what might be dark around you. I’ve read this book three times already and am reading it again. I adore this book.

The Testaments by Margaret Atwood

I was worried about a sequel to The Handmaids Tale so long after the original book was published. Would The Testaments live up to The Handmaids Tale? In my opinion, it does. In fact, it surpasses it. We are given three storylines this time and they alternate throughout the book. Lydia, Hannah and Emily share the stage for the story and we are given a thrilling treat. Though the novel isn’t a horror novel, it is tense enough to feel like one. We are shown the events that brought Gilead to power and it’s chillingly close to real life. I love the fact that Atwood can weave the present day into a novel that is so far into our future. That being said, the novel was necessary and felt very very real. I have loved a lot of Atwood’s fiction, but I can’t wait to read this book again. I also listened to the audiobook and loved every moment of it.

Faux Ho Ho by ‘Nathan Burgoine

Can I just say how much I love Burgoine’s writing? He always writes such wonderful characters and by the end of the book, I feel I have lived right alongside them. Silas is unlucky in love and even more unlucky with his family. Being big C conservative, they don’t much care for Silas. In comes his roommate Dino who steps in to save the day. We are given a narrative that jumps back and forth over a period of months and I watched with glee as Silas began to fall for Dino. But would Dino feel the same way? Would Silas’ family get in the way? This whole novella had enough emotion in the book and enough storylines to feel like a fully fledged novel. I laughed, I cheered and even shed a tear on the bus. This novel is so full of awesomeness that it had to be on my list. I heart Silas and Dino and I heard Burgoine for giving me such a wonderful holiday tale.

Well, that’s it for another year! I can’t believe how great 2019 was for books! Here’s looking forward to 2020!

FREE HOLIDAY NOVELLA! A Unicorn for Christmas

Hey Everyone!

Just in time for the holidays, check out my new novella: A Unicorn for Christmas!

Here’s a bit about the novella:

Abigail Ivy hates the holidays.

After a traumatic event, she vows never to enjoy the season again. Abigail doesn’t count on a little angelic intervention in the form of Greyhound Jasper Riddell Greyhound the Fourth, or Greyhound to his friends.

He has been sent to bring Abigail some holiday cheer and help her believe in magic again. All Abigail wants to do is throw snowballs at the carollers and drink a vast quantity of wine.

Abigail realizes that she really can’t fight the inevitable, especially since Greyhound has brought a friend with him to help: a unicorn. Not really in the mood to believe in holiday cheer, angels or unicorns, Abigail agrees to go along for a walk with the Greyhound and the unicorn, if only to get them to leave so she can get back to her wine.

However, Greyhound and the unicorn will give holiday cheer to Abigail, whether she likes it or not.

You can download it from Smashwords in a variety of different formats suitable for all kinds of eReaders! Download A Unicorn for Christmas here:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/995783

A Unicorn for Christmas is my gift to you! I hope it fills your holidays with plenty of magic and lots of cheer!

Happy Holidays to all of you!

Together As One – A Poem

When we met,

pieces of the chalice

that was within my skin

would fall away.

I could hear them

clink as they hit the ground.

Despite my best efforts,

I would fall apart

when the wind was strong enough

to go right through me.

You tried your best

to hold me together

and to keep me

from falling apart completely.

Sometime,

I did fall apart,

what was left of the chalice

exploding outward.

You would gather me

in your arms

and I could feel your heart

through your chest.

My heart would match

the beat of yours and

we our hearts would

beat as one.

Even though you

have seen me at my very worst,

you are still able to see

the light within me

even when I’m not able

to recognize my own shine.

Not too long ago,

you came to me

with your hands outstretched.

In your palms

you held every piece of my chalice

that had been lost along the way.

I had no idea how you had found them,

or how long you had been looking.

With your gentle touch,

you put the pieces back

where they belonged.

When you slid the places home,

I looked down at my body

and could only see the scars.

You could only see the light

that those scars made visible.

When you held me close,

I heard your heartbeat once more

and my own heart as it

beat in time to yours.

The Fire Within – A Poem

This is my 9th Pay It Forward offering. It’s a poem I wrote for Marg. 🙂

There is steel in your eyes.

This is a reflection of your spirit

and the drive you hold.

As I have grown to know you,

I have seen that steel come out

many times and each time,

I am reminded that you are a fighter.

There is swiftness in your words.

This is a reflection of your wisdom

and the knowledge you possess.

As I have grown to know you,

I’ve listened to you speak

and I am reminded that you are a sage.

There is wind in your legs.

This is a reflection of your determination

to ride the wind within you.

As I have grown to know you,

I’ve watched you run as if you

bend the wind itself to your will.

I am reminded that you are a warrior.

You are all of these things,

Fighter, Sage and Warrior

and yet I also know you to be

one of the kindest people

I have ever known.

I have seen you lift a hand

to help someone in need.

You have listened to someone

when they are in pain

and in need of comfort.

I have heard you hold someone up,

even when you were

in danger of falling.

You have so much within you

that the wind can’t hold you,

the earth can’t contain you,

and the water that runs within you

can never define your path.

You have only to embrace

the fire that burns so brightly within you,

with sparks that remind us

of the stars.

The Magic of a Wish

Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Inglewood Hamlet, there was a very serious young girl who worked very hard at being a witch.

Her name was Cleo and she was very curious. She was often sloppy in her potion work, enthusiastic in her spell work and didn’t have a very good hand on incantations. Her mother said not to worry, that she had lots of time to grow into her powers.

One night shortly before the Winter Solstice, she had woken from a dream. In it, her mother had been trying to feed her rhubarb pie for dinner at the Yule celebration, even though she didn’t like rhubarb. She had kept saying things like “Try it, it’s good for you.” Or: “Promises are made of piecrust. Easily made, easily broken.

She woke, shaking her head. Her mother was full of all kinds of sayings like that. Her father said that Cleo’s mother should write them all out and publish them in a book, but her mother was too busy leading the local coven. Cleo’s mother was a very wise woman, but she was always busy solving problems. Being one of the coven leaders within the village of Inglewood Hamlet was sometimes difficult work, but her mother found much joy as well. “Life is all about balance, dear heart.” Her mother told her.

As Cleo lay there, the dream still fresh in her head, she began to hear a humming sound.

She looked at her alarm clock. It was tick tock ticking, but it did not hum. She looked up towards the window, where her pet crow was perched looking down at Cleo with interest. The crow was shaking her wings, making a sound that went whip thwip whip, but it did not hum.

Then she saw the shadow that fell across her bed. It was tall and long, and Cleo could make out the movement of a tail. Cleopatra looked at her window her eyes wide with wonder. The curtains had been left open so that the moonlight shone through and she there sat a cat, looking down at her, its green eyes glowing softly.

Cleopatra realized that the sound was not humming but purring. The cat was purring loudly, and the sound was muffled by the pane of glass. Its shadow tail swished back and forth as Cleopatra watched the cat. Its eyes glowed down at her like embers from a fire. The cat had one green eye and one yellow. It was white with black spots as if someone had spilled ink all over him.

When the cat saw that Cleopatra was watching him, he purred louder still. He rubbed his head against the pane of glass frosted with snow and meowed at her.

Cleopatra smiled. She sat up and put her hand against the pane of glass. It was cold against her skin. The Yule lights from the village tinkled in the distance but their light coloured everything a lovely shade of gold.

The cat rubbed its head against the window where her hand was, which made her laugh softly. “I would let you in,” she said. “But Mother doesn’t allow cats in the house. She says she is allergic to their fur. And that her curtains are allergic to cats’ claws.”

The cat stopped purring and meowed in response. Cleopatra had the distinct impression that the cat could understand her. But that was silly, wasn’t it? A cat that could understand people, could it? Cleopatra shook her head and laughed softly again. “You go find some place warm to be,” she told the cat. “It’s going to snow, you know.”

Cleopatra put her head back on her pillow and watched the cat for the few moments before sleep claimed her again. Before she closed her eyes for the final time, Cleopatra looked at the cat and saw him wink at her.

But cats don’t wink at people, do they? She closed her eyes and felt herself drift away to sleep.

Unbeknownst to her, the cat remained on the windowsill for the whole night, watching over her and purring softly.

*

The next morning at breakfast, Cleopatra’s father was making flapjacks.

Her father was forever fooling around in the kitchen. He cooked food for the people that needed it around town and even had his own small restaurant that he called The Ivy and the Horn. It was a small pub that sat thirty people. It was always full of people who were there not because his wife led one of the coven’s in Inglewood Hamlet but because his food was beyond compare. Many said that his food must be made with magic.

Cleo knew that there was no magic in the food, only heart. Also, he was horribly accident-prone. Cleopatra could see three red burn marks on his hands from the cast iron pan already and he had only made four flapjacks. “Morning.” She said.

Her mother was sitting at the kitchen table reading her a stack of papers. Cleo knew that these papers contained anything from spells to complaints and predictions about the weather. Putting down her papers, she smiled at her daughter. “Morning Cleo dear. Your father’s making flapjacks. I made some blackberry syrup to go with them.”

“That sounds lovely.” Cleo said. She knew that her mother had concocted the syrup as one would mix a spell. She wondered what effect it would cause, whether joyfulness or hilarity? You had to be careful with whatever her mother made. Cleopatra turned to her father. “Did you want any help dad?”

Her father looked over his shoulder at her, pouring some more batter into the pan.

“A frying pan is not a toy Cleo; you’re too young. You might burn yourself.”

“You’ve burnt yourself.” She pointed out. “And besides, I’m nine. That’s pretty old.”

Her father chuckled at her. “Maybe so, but I’ve got it all under control, thanks.”

Except that he didn’t have it under control. He had poured the batter for the flapjacks all over the counter while he had been talking to her. Grumbling, he found a cloth and began to mop up the gluey mess.

“Why don’t you make up your wish list for Father Christmas?” Her mother said. She smiled at her and Cleo felt all warm. Father Christmas! The very thought of him excited her. She got a paper and a pen and began writing a letter to him. Cleo knew that the likelihood of Father Christmas coming to their house was slim, that her parents put out the presents every year. But she pretended anyways. She didn’t want her parents to be disappointed.

There was a scratching noise at the door and Cleo went to answer it. She opened the door and found two cats sitting there, watching her. She recognized the one from last night with white fur and black spots but the second one was new: it had a black body with a white tail and its nose was painted white, like someone had dribbled milk on it’s face.

“What are you doing here?” Cleopatra whispered. She heard her father swear as he burnt himself and her mother chuckle in the kitchen. “I told you I can’t keep you, Mum’s allergic.” She sighed. “Hold on a second.” She went into the kitchen and got out two bowls. She filled them with milk without her parents noticing and brought them to the cats. “Here,” she said. “This should keep your tummy’s happy.”

She took one last look at the cats and closed the door behind her.

That evening, she helped her parents decorate the tree. They always decorated their tree the night before the Winter Solstice. Her mother said that this was to honour old traditions. “The winter solstice was then people used to celebrate the changing of winter and the days that slowly began to lengthen again.”

Cleo nodded, wondering where her father had hidden the presents. She went to sleep wondering what her parents had gotten her this year. Late in the night, she was woken from a dreamless sleep once more by the sound of purring. She opened her eyes and went to her window.

This time there were three cats. There was the black one with white spots and the white one with black spots. The third one was different: this one had honey coloured fur and blazing blue eyes. It licked its mouth with a pink tongue and meowed at her.

“Where do you all come from?” Cleopatra asked them. “Do you need something from me?”

The third cat meowed softly, and Cleopatra heard her parents outside her bedroom door. “Cleo,” her mother called. “Father Christmas knows when you’re not asleep.” Cleo smiled to herself; they must have hidden the presents upstairs this year.

“Dear Father Christmas,” Cleopatra whispered. “If you bring me one thing this Christmas, let it be the cats. I want to give them some place warm.” She paused and thought on what her mother had said about using her magic and the power of wishing. “Father Christmas, I wish for those cats to be warm. I truly do.” She looked over at the window where the cats were still watching her and she let her heart fill up with hope.

Taking one last look at the trio of cats, she closed her eyes and went to sleep.

*

When Cleopatra awoke in the morning, the sun was coming through her window. She looked to see if her cats were there, but they had gone.

She knew from looking outside that it was still early. She ran down to look at the presents before they woke. There was just something magical about it for her. She relished the quiet of the morning before her parents awoke; she loved going through her stocking, imagining what lay in wait for her.

When she looked at the presents, there was something there that made her gasp: under the green boughs of the tree, she saw thee little kittens. They were nestled in a small wicker basket. A note was pinned to the front with a ribbon: For Cleo, your wish granted.

She looked down at them and knew they were the kittens she had seen: a black one with white spots, a white one with black spots and the honey coloured one. She petted each of them and listened to their little squeaky meows.

These cats were a lot smaller than the ones she had seen outside her window, but she looked at them and knew that they were the same ones. She just knew they were. As they played in front of her, Cleo saw that all three cats had the same markings as the ones she had seen before.

Her parents came down shortly afterwards and were startled to find her playing with the kittens. “Where did those come from?” her mother asked softly.

“I thought you got them for her.” Her father said.

“If you didn’t get them and I didn’t, who left them here, who wrote that note?”

Cleo, petting her new kittens, knew exactly who had given them to her. She had asked Father Christmas to find them some place warm and he had. Her mother had often said that cats are spirits of witches that have passed before. Some say that the cats that run around the neighbourhood are wishes given solid form. Other say that the cats are actually magic that has yet to find a home. Cleo knew both of these thoughts were true.

Cleo also wondered if this was her magic, finally taking form and growing in strength. Looking at the cats, she believed in magic. Maybe, she thought, there was magic left in the world after all. You just have to wish for it.

Or so the story goes…