Number-one bestselling author
I sit outside,
the air cold
upon my face.
Sun is shining
down through leaves
coloured red, orange,
gold and yellow.
When the sun
shines through them,
it changes the
colour of my
skin. Though there
is joy all
around me, I
am torrent of
emotions inside. I
have been close
to tears all
day; I push
at the torrent
of emotion, trying
to keep them
at bay, to
keep them back,
to keep them
down. Still, they
rebel against the
barriers that I
have put up.
The torrent still
finds a way
to slip through,
one emotion at
a time. They
slip past the
barricade like shards
of broken glass.
Sitting there, my
skin shaded with
hues of red,
orange and gold,
I let the
tears come, no
longer able to
hold them back.
They fall into
my lap, shining
brightly. I clutch
one of them
between two fingers
and hold it
to the sun.
I am almost
by the brilliance
of the stone.
I start to
slide the stone
back into my
skin when someone
plucks it from
my fingers and
flicks it away.
“What the fuck do you want to do that for?”
She asks me,
sitting down next
to me on
on the bench.
The woman has
dark hair that
falls past her
shoulders in ringlets.
It moves as
if dancing with
a soft breeze.
She wore an
amethyst that hung
from a silver
chain around her
neck. It seemed
to pulse with light.
“I don’t know.”
I tell her,
shaking my head.
“I’ve been so lost lately.”
She holds up
a clear crystal
shard and gives
me a sharp look.
“See this? Do you know what this is?”
I shake my head.
“This is your sadness trying to break free.”
She throws it
to the ground
where it cuts
into the pavement.
“See that? That’s what it’s doing to you. It’s cutting into you. You have to cut that shit out.”
I shake my
head, trying to
find the words
to tell her
how I feel.
“It’s not that easy. I live with pain and fatigue all the time. Sometimes, I can’t see past it. It defines who I am.”
I try to
hide my shame
and look away.
She gently turns
my head so
that I am
looking at her.
Her smile is
like light itself.
“It doesn’t define you. Your courage defines you. Your creativity define you. You are not your disease or your disability.”
I know this,
it is a
truth that I
have told others,
but sometimes have
trouble believing myself.
I try again
to make my
point heard:
“There are times where my symptoms keep me from doing what I want to do.”
I correct myself.
“What I used to do.”
She looks at
me and, though
her gaze is
stern, there is
kindness within her
eyes. She touches
my hand gently.
“You are not who you used to be.”
She says softly.
“You are so much more than you used to be. Your live beyond the boundaries of your body.”
She let that
sink in for
a moment and
then when it
appeared that I
had grasped her
meaning, she spoke:
“I want you to do something for me. I want you to turn your sadness into something else.”
I looked down
at the crystal
shards that covered
my lap like
pieces of broken glass.
“What do you want me to do?”
I ask her.
“I want you to let that sadness go. Make it into something else. Turn it into rain so that it can wash away any sadness that may still be within you. Could you do that?”
I nod and
stand, gathering the
shards in my
hands. As soon
as she gave
me the suggestion,
I knew what
I had to do.
Taking a deep
breath, I threw
the shards up
into the sky
as far as
I could. I
expected them to
fall back down
and waited for
their sting upon
my skin. Instead,
I heard a
distant rumble of
thunder and then
felt the first
drop of water
touch my face.
It was followed
by another and
then more, all
coming at once.
With each raindrop,
I felt a
little bit more
myself and a
little less filled
with sadness and
despair. I turned
to exclaim in
joy, but the
woman was not
there. Instead, all
that remained was
the amethyst that
she had been
wearing, its silver
chain curled around
and its chain
shone as if
filled with light.
I slipped the
chain over my
neck, letting the
stone rest against
my chest. Looking
at the rain
I had made,
I didn’t feel
sadness. Instead, I
felt only the
joy of release.
Here’s my October Flash Fiction!
I had to write a piece containing a frog, have it set in a blood drive and be in the horror genre, all within 1000 words. I’m thrilled with how my piece turned out! It’s very appropriate for the coming Halloween!
Enjoy!
Blood Gives
For a moment, when she woke, she thought she had already died.
In fact, she wished for it, opening her eyes even though she did not want to see what they would show her. She knew only fear and pain and both were somehow exquisite, as marvelous as he had promised, and this frightened her more.
Lenore blinked her eyes. Each time she did, he became a little bit clearer. He’d had work done, of course he had. You couldn’t disappear into thin air without making yourself disappear first. She had been so fucking stupid.
Her hands felt wet and she felt the same wetness along her arms. The tang of iron was strong in her nostrils. She tried to look down, but couldn’t move her head. She heard the steady sound of wet dripping, only it was muffled by the carpet that covered the floor.
Lenore blinked furiously and, as Oliver moved towards her, she was reminded of strobe lights in a club when you could only see pieces of movement before they were in front of you.
She stopped blinking and there he was, but not the Oliver she had known so well. This one had a full head of blond hair and blue eyes whereas the Oliver she had known had had golden eyes that pierced the skin and no hair at all. His cheekbones were different, too, leaner and more angular than they had been. His lips, which had been thin and paper white before but were now supple and rose coloured, were spread into a wide smile showing white teeth.
“Good evening, Lenore.”
God help her, his voice was like a caress along her skin. “Please let me go, Oliver. I won’t tell anyone that I met you. There’s no need for anyone to know.”
If possible, his smile widened. “Oh, but you see Lenore, no one knows I’m here anyways. I don’t exist. I am but mist and dreams. If you were lucky enough to get free, you would be able to see that all my identification says my name is Walter Johnson, a perfectly ordinary name.”
“But I know it’s you. By the sound of your voice alone, I know it’s you.” Lenore tried to sound braver than she felt.
“Well, yes, but what makes you think you will survive the night?”
He reached out and ran a hand through her hair, adjusting how it framed her face. “You will never know the thrill I received when you booked an appointment for the mobile blood clinic. What were the chances? One might say that it was fate.”
Lenore hated herself for letting a sob escaped her lips. “Please.” Her voice was thick with saliva and fear. “Please, let me go. I won’t tell anyone.” She hated herself for begging.
He let out a laugh and she remembered what he did when he laughed. “Oh no, I don’t think that will do. What kind of sport would it be if I let the meat go? What fun would that be?”
Moving closer to her, Oliver took his hands out from behind his back. In his right hand, he held a long silver knife, like a slice of moonlight. In the other hand, he held a frog. She hadn’t been expecting that and Oliver let out another little laugh at the look of shocked curiosity that he could see on her face.
“Do you know what happens to a frog when you kill it?” He moved closer still. “Would you like to see?” He whispered.
He positioned the knife at the frog’s belly and it gave a wet croak. He slipped the blade into the skin and pulled down in one swift motion. Blood poured from the frog, covering Oliver hand and filling the air with more of the smell of iron.
Oliver did not nothing for a moment. All Lenore could see were the wide, dead eyes of the frog and hear the wet, muffled drip of more blood on the carpet.
Then the frog began to twitch as if filled with some kind of phantom force. It moved as if alive, yet Lenore knew that there could be no possible way. Another sob pushed its way past her lips and then the twitching slowed and the frog was still once more.
Holding the frog out to her, Oliver’s face was filled with mad glee. His eyes were too bright, his smile too feral. “Did you know that, like the frog, our bodies are filled with electricity? Neurons and electrons, shifting and moving underneath our skin, just waiting for that nudge to get us moving? Normally, this comes from our brain, but I’ve found that a knife works just as well.”
He slid the point of the knife along the skin of her arm and she tried to move away from him, tried to shrink her body until it was nothing. “Kill me, then.” She said and hated herself for it. “Just get it over with.”
Oliver’s smile widened even more. “Now, why would I do a thing like that? We’re just beginning to play our game. You do remember how I like to play, don’t you Lenore?”
The scars that he had left along her back, words etched into her skin, seemed to throb in memory. “I do.” She said, almost whispering the words, filled with hate and wanting.
“If memory serves, I never finished what was written here before you helped the police catch me.” He said this with a soft kind of maniacal glee.
Lenore felt his lips kiss her shoulders and she shivered, “People are merely canvasses, Lenore. You remember this. I don’t just paint with blood, I set the words free, waiting to see what it has to give to me.”
As the knife began to slide along her skin, Lenore tried to stay awake knowing that their game was far from done.
She let out a scream that flew into the night, black and ready to receive it.
I love you for the kindness
you show everyone around you.
I love you for your support,
always at my side
holding my hand to keep me steady.
I love you for the sound of your laughter
as it bubbles out of you
and the joy with which you approach life.
I love you for the gentleness
you show me when I am too hard on myself.
I love you for the belief you have in me,
even when I’ve lost faith
in myself.
I love you for the ability
you have to make even the darkest day
filled with light.
I love you for loving me
and for making my life so much more amazing
than it has ever been.
I love you and you are the greatest gift.
Thank you for making me believe
in the possibility of magic.
I stepped onto
the elevator and
noticed him immediately.
He had a
shocked look on
his face and
then I watched
as his eyes
changed from the
widened gaze of
surprise to the
narrowed gaze of
contempt. A little
smirk played around
the corners of
his lips, thinned
to a small
line. When the
elevator was empty
of others, he
said to me:
“Is your name Jamie ______?”
He looked curious
at what my
answer would be.
“That used to be my name.”
I said to him.
His voice was
filled with derision.
“You used to date a girl named _______?”
I nodded, shocked
that this person
who was a
stranger to me
knew who I
was. His grin
widened and the
malicious twinkle in
his eyes brightened.
“I’m __________”
He said, as
if triumphant,
as if he
had somehow found
me wanting, even
after all these
years. Immediately, a
fog from the
past rose up
inside my head.
The fog was
brought me back
to who I had been.
Shrouded in darkness
and seduced by
shadows, I looked
at the child
that I had
been: shrouded in
fear, I wore
another’s hatred like
a mantle of
glass. The cuts
that had been
absent for so
long showed again
on my body,
slashed into my
skin with harsh
words and the
blade of a
knife. In the
fog, I heard
his laughter that
sang out whenever
he was near
me. I shook
myself out of
the fog and
looked at this
man-child that had
held onto his
hatred of me
for over twenty
years. I thought
how small his
life must be
to hold onto
that kind of
darkness.
He vibrated hatred
and his lips
curved again in
a smile that
held no warmth.
“It’s nice to see you again Jamie.”
I shook my head.
“That’s not who I am anymore.”
I said, stepping
off the elevator
and leaving him,
and what he
represented, in the
past where he
belonged.

The boat moved through the water,
making no sound. The only noises
were the sound of wind and
the crack of ice in the distance.
The water was almost frozen and had
taken on an almost gel-like quality.
It looked as if it would hold my weight
should I happen to fall into it,
the coldness of it carrying me onward.
There were birds flying through the
air around us and the sun
was so bright, so brilliant,
that I almost had to shield my eyes
against its luminosity.
As we approached the mountains,
the boat moving silently
though the almost frozen water,
the mountains became bigger
and the glaciers atop of them
shone in all shades of blue and white,
telling stories of how they
came to be and where they came from.
I held my husbands’ hand
and watched the mountains and glaciers
become even bigger as we moved closer
and was struck with the stories
that they could tell,
the tales that they could weave
of what had come before.
I thought to myself:
‘They were here when time began. They were here when the world was formed and have endured.’
Looking at the land before me,
thousands of miles of rock and ice
that lay uninhabited and filled the horizon,
so much larger than our boat and so much bigger
than myself.
The world back home seemed foreign
and time stood still.
I looked at the shades of blue within the ice,
at the land that had moved and shaped itself
over time immortal
and thought to myself:
‘How very small I am. I am but a second in the span of time, a pinprick of light, merely a drop of water within the ocean of the world.’
I looked at the world around me that
had been waiting for me all this time
and felt tears come to my eyes.
I could only cry as there were no words
to describe what I was seeing.
My tears fell to the water,
becoming one with the frozen waters.
My spirit sighed in contentment,
soaking up the light of that Alaskan sun,
feeling awake as it never had
before.