Mercurial Shadows – A Poem

* To my Beautiful Husband.

When I think back on nine years

of living with the unseen foe

that lives within,

I find myself going back

through the memories that I  

have inside of myself.

I flick through them as if

they are photos,

polaroids of memories that

are my talismans against

mercurial shadows that hide

underneath my skin.

I remember the joy

that shaped those moments,

the sounds of laughter,

music and the thrill of the unknown

before the light shone

through the clouds.

I know that there are many ways

that the shadows have changed me,

but I have also persevered,

embraced a new way

to handle the shadows,

be it with light or with the powers

of love and understanding.

There were time when the

shadows were made of

ice and glass and filled my body

with pain that could not be named

or understood but I still climbed

the mountain, still went on despite

or even because of the mysterious shadows

that filled my life.

I would part the shadows like a curtain;

on the other side,

you were always there waiting for me.

It was always your face that I saw,

your hand reached out towards me,

holding my hand through the pain

and the uncertainty.

You let me know that I was capable

of doing anything I set my mind to.

Though I carry the shadows

and the weight they bring with them,

you have shown me that I can

achieve what I thought were miracles

meant for others.

More than that,

you have shown me that the love

continues to grow between us

is the most amazing

miracle of all.