* To my Beautiful Husband.
When I think back on nine years
of living with the unseen foe
that lives within,
I find myself going back
through the memories that I
have inside of myself.
I flick through them as if
they are photos,
polaroids of memories that
are my talismans against
mercurial shadows that hide
underneath my skin.
I remember the joy
that shaped those moments,
the sounds of laughter,
music and the thrill of the unknown
before the light shone
through the clouds.
I know that there are many ways
that the shadows have changed me,
but I have also persevered,
embraced a new way
to handle the shadows,
be it with light or with the powers
of love and understanding.
There were time when the
shadows were made of
ice and glass and filled my body
with pain that could not be named
or understood but I still climbed
the mountain, still went on despite
or even because of the mysterious shadows
that filled my life.
I would part the shadows like a curtain;
on the other side,
you were always there waiting for me.
It was always your face that I saw,
your hand reached out towards me,
holding my hand through the pain
and the uncertainty.
You let me know that I was capable
of doing anything I set my mind to.
Though I carry the shadows
and the weight they bring with them,
you have shown me that I can
achieve what I thought were miracles
meant for others.
More than that,
you have shown me that the love
continues to grow between us
is the most amazing
miracle of all.