Jamieson Wolf
Number-one bestselling author
What the Rainbow Means to Me – A Poem
When I was young,
I knew that there was
something different about me.
I shone too brightly,
but had no words
to put a name to
the magic that was within me.
Growing up, I was always told
that being gay was
a bad thing,
unnatural,
a horrible sin,
I was taught to fear gay people,
which meant fearing myself.
I was fourteen when
I saw my first rainbow.
The flag was flying outside
of a shop. I wondered
what it could mean.
When I found out
that it symbolized gay Pride,
that it encompassed a whole rainbow
of people like me,
I was overjoyed.
A rainbow represents joy,
the possibility of magic
and it is a gift that the sky
bestows upon us.
When I finally did come out,
the first thing I did
was to go and buy
a pendant with the Pride colours.
I wore them knowing that
I should not hide who I am
or the magic that resides within.
To me, the Pride flag meant
that I could be proud,
that we are all one
and the same.
The rainbow united us
with its message of hope
of acceptance and love.
And in its bright light,
I finally felt comfortable
in my own skin.
Lust and Lemonade – Meet Blaine!
For the first of five character interviews, please welcome Blaine! Thanks for being with us today, Blaine!
Blaine: Thanks for having me.
So can you tell us a little bit about yourself? What do you do for a living?
Blaine: Well, I work in a call centre for an internet company. It’s very boring work, but I help people when I can. I like to go the extra mile, you know? Make the calls more personal, so they are speaking to a human instead of a machine. But that just pays the bills. My real love is art.
Art? Like drawing?
Blaine: I paint, mostly. I do portraits. I try to paint the person as they are seen, rather than how they see themselves.
That must be quite a talent. I’d love to see some of your work sometime.
Blaine: Are you asking yourself over to my apartment? Don’t I at least get a coffee before we get to the fun stuff?
Um, no, I mean, I’m with someone, I was just-
Blaine: It’s all good. Just having fun with you.
Oh, okay. So what’s your family like?
Blaine: Well, I don’t have a lot of family. Just my Nan. She’s awesome. She likes the sauce and can be very saucy so that’s awesome.
What about your mom and dad? They must be proud of you.
Blaine: I wouldn’t know. I’ve never met them. I’ve just known my Nan my whole life.
Sorry to bring up a sore subject.
Blaine: It’s all good. My friends are my real family. Nancy, Chuck, Mike. Poppy’s my best friend, but don’t tell the guys, they might get jealous.
I won’t. We’ll be meeting them too!
Blaine: I know, Nancy was going on about what kind of eye shadow he should wear for the interview and Chuck was trying to decide whether a t shirt that said *uck me would be too forward.
Oh, I look forward to talking with them. So Blaine, are you seeing anyone?
Blaine: No.
No one?
Blaine: No, not right now. I haven’t been very lucky in love.
How so?
Blaine: (lets out a rough breath) The last guy I was with…wasn’t a very nice person. That’s all I’d like to say for now.
Sure, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.
Blaine: You didn’t. I just…why is it so hard to meet a man who can accept all of you, no questions asked? I’d love to meet a man like that. A man that looked at you and only saw you for what you were, not for what he wanted you to be. Does that make any sense?
It makes total sense. I think that everyone wants someone like that.
Blaine: Sorry (runs hand through his hair). I didn’t mean to get emotional.
Hey, it’s all good. We’re among friends here. Thank you for talking with me today.
Blaine: Thank you! Let me know if you want to go for that coffee.
Here’s a bit about the book:
What does it take to find love in the gay community?
In a world filled with one-night stands, glory hole blowjobs and weeklong romances, what does it take to find love? This is just what our protagonist Blaine worries about. Unlike his friends, he wants to settle down.
Chuck is just looking for Mr. Right Now. A self-proclaimed jock, he is always on the lookout for a good time. But what happens when a good time becomes a very good time? Does he run away from his feelings? Or admit them to himself?
Mike and William are having problems. Marital problems. Though they don’t sleep together, they do like to sleep with others and share their stories. They had wanted a no strings attached marriage. But they did not count on actually falling in love. With each other!
Nancy is just looking for love. True and honest love. Though a little bit eccentric, he is nonetheless good to go when he catches a bartender’s eye. But is Devon what he seems? Or does a secret lurk there?
Poppy is a little distraught. A self-proclaimed man hating lipstick lesbian, she’s beginning to have doubts about her sexuality. It may have something to do with the baby in her stomach. Her lover River Moon Falls will be pissed if she finds out!
She does the only thing she can do: turns to her best friend Blaine for help. Despairing that he will ever meet Mr. Right, Blaine is surprised to find him in Justin, the father of Poppy’s unborn son….
When all of these people come together, love is sure to show up somewhere…
We hope.
You can meet Blaine in Lust and Lemonade, available April 20th from Renaissance Press! Learn more here: http://renaissancebookpress.com/
Beautiful Like the Sun – A Poem
* This poem is for Rachael on her Birthday. Lots of love and light to you today!
When I first met you,
I was struck by the light
that emanated from you.
There was a thrum of joy
that came from you,
spilling out into the world
around you that could not fail
to brighten anyone’s day.
If I looked carefully,
I could see it flowing from you
like rays from the sun,
as if you were at the centre
of a bright and cascading
sea of light that shone so brightly.
As I got to know you more,
I could see other tendrils
that came from you,
joining the brightness
that already flowed so beautifully.
There was the yellow of joy,
the purple of wisdom,
the blue of knowledge.
I saw tongues of red that showed
a great passion for life,
orange that sang of your creativity,
pink that spoke of your tenderness.
You are all of these colours
and more, always changing,
always moving, always shining.
You are beautiful like the sun
and to look upon you
is to know the trueness
of light.
To the Dark Forest and Back Again – A Poem
I try to ignore
the whisper of leaves.
I can feel the breeze
almost all the time now.
I can smell the dark earth
of the forest floor.
I had told myself
that I would never return here,
that it had lost its hold on me.
Yet, when I close my eyes,
I can see the dark forest.
It is much larger than I recall,
the branches of the trees
stretching out much farther
than they used to.
I watch as one of the Dryad’s
detaches herself from her tree.
She is covered in bark
that is black in colour
and I can see a trail of oil
that she leaves behind her.
“It’s been so long since we’ve seen you, dear boy.”
She runs a pointy finger
along my chin,
leaving an oily smear
along my skin.
“So very long. The light within you will sustain us for months.”
I shiver and go to turn away,
when my path is blocked
by a man made of shadows.
He used to live within me
until I was able to cast him out.
He runs his hands along my skin
and though he is made only of smoke,
his touch burns, leaving trails
along my skin that remain.
“It’s been so long since I wore your body like a coat.”
He says, showing his teeth
in a smile that is far from warm.
“It’ll be good for you to be my meat puppet again.”
I turn again, desperate to be away,
to find my path homeward again.
I see a pathway and I head down it,
following the sound of water.
Soon, I approach a body of liquid
but it does not look like water.
Instead, it is an oily mass
and the surface shines and shimmers
like gasoline in the sun.
A man made of nettles
lounges against a nearby tree.
“You remember this, don’t you? It’s your pool of tears. Its drying up though.”
He reaches out with a nettle hand.
“It flowed so well when you were hurt. I can make you hurt again.”
I turn from him and try to run,
but the forest floor is more mud than dirt
and I find myself sinking
faster than I can flee.
I begin to wallow inside of myself,
wondering how I can be free
of the forest once more.
I claw at the dirt and mud,
I let out a guttural cry of rage,
knowing that I would not survive
another stay in this forest,
that there is no gingerbread house here,
no path of breadcrumbs,
that it is not a home to me.
I claw at the dirt and mud
and I notice a streak of light
that comes from the ring ringer
of my left hand.
There is no ring there yet,
but there will be.
Still, it shines brightly,
even from within the mud and dirt.
Then it is as if the first light
turns on the others.
A light at my heart level,
bright like a beacon.
The light from my heart,
shining out to all who meet me.
A third light comes on inside of me
and I can feel this one so clearly.
It shines from my third eye.
I pull my hands from the mud
and reach up to touch the light
but my hands come into contact
with a crown upon my head.
Though I know I don’t wear a physical one,
there a crown sits,
bright and clear like the light
that emanates from inside of me.
The light begins to wash away
all of the mud until I can stand again,
all of the smoke until I can breathe again.
all of the tears until I am at peace again.
It turns the nettle man to ash.
It turns dryad made of oil to rainbows.
It turns the shadow man into nothing
for shadow can not hide in light.
And then I take one last look
at the dark forest, knowing that
I will try not to return,
that I will focus on the joy
so that I can’t hear the
whisper of the leaves.
I take one last look and then
I
open
my
eyes.
Dear OC Transpo – With Gratitude
This is a bit different than the stuff I normally post, but a good deed must be acknowledged. 🙂
Dear OC Transpo,
I would like to offer my thanks to the driver of the number 1 bus that left from Bank and Slater at 3:30, bus number 5128.
The ride itself passed without incident and was quite enjoyable. It was getting off the bus that I need to offer my thanks for.
What with the snowfall yesterday and today, the snowbanks are alive and well and the sidewalks are covered in snow. When I got off my bus, there was a snowbank blocking my way to the curb. I attempted to get over the snow bank and that’s where the trouble started.
I was born with spastic Cerebral Palsy and I have relapse and remitting Multiple Sclerosis. I get along all right, but anything involving balance is a lost art to me. I can’t do inclines, stairs, ramps or slants. Snowbanks are a lost cause with me and I normally get over them by falling over them.
When I tried to get over the snowbank this afternoon, I immediately started to lose my balance. I knew I was seconds away from a faceplant into the snow and its cold embrace when I heard a voice behind me.
“Wait sir, wait, I got you.”
It was the driver of the number 5128 bus. I heard him get out of his bus and saw him as he leaped to the other side of the snowbank. He held out his hand and, when that didn’t do the trick, he gave me his arm to pull myself over.
“Thank you,” I said. “You’re awesome.”
“You’re welcome sir. You get home safely.”
I turned and watched the bus drive on. I don’t know if the driver realizes what he gave me this afternoon. He proved to me, with the gift of his hand, that human kindness still exists in the world. It was such a simple gesture, but it meant the world to me.
I know that a lot of people write in to you to complain. I wanted to take the time to write to you and say thank you. Thank you for employing that driver, whomever he is. He has my thanks and my gratitude.
Also, can you apologize to him for me? I stepped on his foot when I was making my way over the snowbank. That’s not a very good way to say thank you, now is it?
With gratitude,
Jamieson
Buy Little Yellow Magnet from Amazon and Kobo!
Jamieson Wolf has written a compelling story about navigating multiple sclerosis and cerebral palsy. His story will touch your heart, make you cry, then laugh, and inspire you. A touching memoir with a bit of magic…and tarot! ~ Theresa Reed, author of The Tarot Coloring Book
Jamieson Wolf 