She was sitting

at her vanity

mirror when I

walked into her

bed chamber. She

stared at herself

in mirror,

frowning. A sad

look made

her face seem

longer than it

was. She saw

me come into

the room and

turned to me.

He eyes were

bloodshot and lost.

What’s wrong? What has you so upset?

There was no

build up to

her sadness or

her anguish. I

wanted to take

her pain away.

Look at me! Look at what I’ve become! I used to be beautiful!

She reached out

a hand to

touch the mirror.

It began to

shimmer and the

surface rippled like

water. As I

watched, the mirrors

reflection changed, Now

it was as

if we were

looking at a

large photo. Her

younger self stared

back at us.

I used to be beautiful! Look at me then! I had everything! High cheek bones,

plump lips, tits that didn’t sag.

As I watched,

her skin began

to glow along

the lines of

her wrinkles, as

if her younger

self was shining

through, trying to

get out again.

I went to

her and put

a hand on her

shoulder. She looked

up at me.

You are beautiful.

I said. She

made a derisive

noise in the

back of her

throat and rolled

her eyes. Her

skin still glowed.

You are. You bring joy to many and just by knowing you, 

their lives are made more beautiful.

Would you want to be a carbon copy

of what you used to be?

The glow from

her skin began

to dim. It

was softer now

and growing duller

by the moment.

You really think so? You really, truly think so?

You’re beautiful as you are.

I told her.

The mirror

behind us began

to shimmer once

more and when

the ripples stopped,

another picture had

taken its place.

Now, there was

a photo of

her as she

was. She looked

closely at herself.

The smile she

wore was brilliant

like the sun.

She touched the

glass and at

her touch, the

picture inside the

mirror faded. As

it did, the

glow from her

skin increased until

she was bathed

in light. She

turned back to

me and took

my hand in

hers. There were

tears sliding down

her cheeks, her

lips curved in

a brilliant smile.

I’m beautiful as I am.

She said. The

light from her

grew brighter still.

She let out

a laugh that

was like music.

I’m beautiful as I am. 

The first time I saw you,

I heard the rustle of leaves.

Looking down at your feet,

I expected to see them there,

covering the floor,

but it was bare.

The first time you took my hand,

I heard the whisper of leaves

and a breeze rose up

around us. It was filled

not with leaves, but

with fractures of light

filling the air like dreams

given physical form.

The first time we kissed,

I once again heard

the crinkle of leaves.

Opening my eyes,

I saw they surrounded us,

fluttering through the air,

as if we were at the centre

of a whirlwind.

When you took your lips

away from mine,

the beautiful leaves

gave a happy sigh,

as if in content and

flew into the wind

away from us.

As they flew up

towards the sky,

so did my heart,

swelling full of wind

infused with wishes

made reality. Letting out

a happy sigh of my own,

I leaned in to kiss you again

and heard only

the sound of wind

and wishes fulfilled.

 

 * For Michael who is a wish granted. 

How are you sir?

 

I turned around

and saw the

man who had

been working the

table in front

of me. The

table was covered

in all sorts

of rings and

things that glittered.

 

I’m fine, thank you.

 

And how is your pocket?

 

My pocket?

 

I reached into

it and pulled

out some Kleenex

and a pack

of gum. I

showed them to

him, unsure of

what this was

about. A woman

behind him said:

 

Where did you put the silver ring?

 

It’s right there on the table.

 

I didn’t like

where this was

going. Being accused

of theft amongst

a crowd of

people, all of

them looking at

me. I pointed:

 

It’s right there, in the display tray.

 

I saw you put something into your pocket. Make him empty the other one.

 

The woman was

scowling, trying to

figure out what

I had done

when I had

done nothing wrong.

 

Would you mind sir? Empty the other pocket please.

 

I nodded, not

wanting to anger

either of them.

I unzipped my

pocket and the

store became brighter

as if lit

by the sun.

 

What is that?

 

Another woman said

this, and she

leaned down to

look in my

coat pocket. I

saw more light

as she opened

it further. She

let out a

small, soft cry.

When she stood,

she was crying

but a smile

was on her

face, making her

ten years younger.

 

I just saw myself dancing with my husband. That was fifty years ago and he’s ten years gone. It was the happiest moment of my life. Thank you.

 

She touched my

arm and another

person moved forward,

this time a

man. He was

old and walked

with a cane.

 

Mind if I have a look?

 

He bent down

and looked inside

my pocket. The

brilliance of light

increased around us.

He let the

pocket close and

stood back up.

He was smiling

from ear to

ear, and his

smile radiated a

glow that matched

his eyes. He

shook my hand.

 

Thank you, sir! Thank you! I saw the day I met my husband. We’ve been together for thirty years but only got married a few years ago. God, he looked so good back then. Still does.

 

He gave me

his cane with

a roguish wink.

 

I won’t be needing this anymore.

 

People began to

gather closer to

me, all of

them looking at

my pocket with

intense curiosity. The

woman who had

accused me stared

with something like

hunger. The man

who ran the

store came closer.

 

Can you empty your pocket sir? I’d like to see what’s in there for myself.

 

I nodded, not

sure of what

else to say.

 

Don’t do it! It’s a trick! He’s working magic!

 

She licked her

lips as she

said this, hungry

even for something

she didn’t understand.

I reached into

my pocket and

felt something there,

a sphere shaped

object. Slowly I

pulled it out

of my pocket

The brightness was

instantaneous and as

I held onto

the sphere, the

light grew even

brighter still. I

wondered if the

light was coming

from the sphere

or from me.

As more people

cried out, each

seeing the moment

in their lives

that had made

them the happiest,

I could resist

no longer. I

looked directly into

the light and

saw a man’s

face. I wondered

who he could

be, who he

was. I had

never seen him

before. The light

began to dim

slowly as if

receeding back into

the sphere. When

it was dark

again, I looked

up and saw

the man I

had seen in

the light across

the room, looking

right at me.

As he walked

towards me, I

could feel the

sphere grow warm.

As he drew

closer to me,

brightness bloomed once

more. Then he

was right in

front of me

and took my

free hand in his.

The brilliance grew

brighter still until

we were both

bathed in light.

I could hear

them as they

walked up the

sidewalk. One man

was wearing a

bright red shirt

that said “My

other car is

a Delorean” and

the other wore

a backwards baseball

cap with the

words “Yo Bitches”

stitched in black.

You SO cannot tell who’s gay. What do you know about gay people?

The one in

the hat said,

his voice full

of derision and

disdain. His friend

in the Delorean

t-shirt punched him

in the arm.

I can SO tell who’s gay Like that guy there? He’s gay. There’s a girl on his t-shirt and no self respecting straight guy would wear that.

Hermione from the

Harry Potter series

was on my shirt.

That didn’t matter

though. You can’t

tell what sexuality

someone is from

what they’re wearing.

As they came

closer, Delorean stepped

in my path.

Yo, question for you. Are you gay?

I wondered how

to respond to

him. Educate or

mock him? I

decided on mockery.

I AM very happy, thank you for asking.

No, what I meant was-

I know what you meant. And what does that matter?

Delorean pointed to

Yo Bitches and

gave me a

smile that was

meant to put

me at ease.

My friend here and I are trying to settle an argument.

I decide to

play dumb. It’s

worked well before.

What argument is that?

Whether you can tell if someone is gay by what they’re wearing.

I look them

both up and

down. I smile.

Don’t worry. No one can tell, just keep walking and be fabulous.

Their stunned looks

are joined by

my laughter as

I walk away.

 

I was walking

along the sidewalk.

There was a

sound of sirens

in the air

and the third

fire truck I

had seen z       o          o          m         e          d

by me. A

woman I didn’t

know stopped in

front of me.

What do you think is going on?

I had no idea.

That’s the sixth one I’ve seen. I saw three more earlier.

There must be something terrible happening.

We watched as

even more of

them arrived, their

lights flashing in

the air like

clouds filled with

lightning. The woman

pointed to one

of the bright

red engines. It

looked like a

slash of blood

on the pavement.

That must be the fire marshal. What do you think he’s doing with that canister?

I don’t-

My words were

cut off when

the earth shook

around us and

the air filled

with screaming. People

started to fall

from far up,

hitting the ground

as if they

were embracing it.

One girl landed

by my feet,

hitting the ground

with a sickening

splat. The woman

beside me began

crying. The girl

was still alive,

breathing with a

wet hollow sound.

Where’s the smoke?

One boy cried.

Where’s the fucking fire?

I kneeled down

beside the girl

and held her.

I wanted her

last moment to

be one of

kindness. She turned

her eyes towards

mine and they

were glassy with

pain. She reached

out one hand

to my scarf,

smearing it’s red

and gold colours

with blood She

spoke so softly.

Harry Potter?

She said. I

could only nod.

I like your scarf.

She said. Then

she closed her

eyes as the world

came apart around

all of us

and the air

began to fill

with fog like

smoke until I

could no longer

see the girl.

She held on

to my scarf

though, and refused

to let go.