I was blinded

by the sun

and didn’t see

him until he

was walking next

to me. He smiled

and I was

struck by how

insincere it was.

Long time no see. How have you been?

I tried to

place him. I

had no idea

who he was

but he seemed

to know me.

Fine thanks. How about you?

He kept pace

with me. I

looked at his

face and tried

to place him,

to find a

name, tried to

find something familiar

in his facial

features. There was

nothing, no spark

of recognition. I

didn’t know him.

Life is good. My grandparents just got back from Paris. They always liked you.

Oh, that’s nice.

I still had

no idea who

he was, how

I had known

him. He smiled

falsely at me.

How’s your husband?

I don’t have a husband. I have a boyfriend and he’s lovely.

Oh, that’s nice.

He echoed my

words back at

me and the

entire conversation felt

all odd and

out of place.

I pointed across

the street with

a wave of

my hand. I

shrugged at him.

I’m going that way. Sorry.

That’s okay, I’m going this way. It was nice seeing you again.

Yeah, nice to see you.

The words weren’t

true, but they

felt more polite

than telling him

I didn’t know

who he was.

I walked on,

away from him

and his weird,

fake smile. It

was only hours

later that I

remembered who he

was and what

he had done

to me. I

had assumed that

I would always

remember him, that

I would never

forget him and

his cruelty. I

had carried those

memories with me

for a long

time. Too long.

I had forgotten

him, had forgotten

the shape of his

face, the contours

of his brow.

His face was

erased from my

memory and consciousness.

As I realized

that I had

forgotten who he

was, I also

let go of

who he had

been. I went

back out into

the sunshine and

felt a lot

brighter in body

mind and spirit.

I had let

a piece of

my past go

and looked

forward to what

the future would

bring.

I was moved to go in.

Something about the store

called to me. It was as if

there was a heady kind of

music playing from within.

It sounded like flute music,

but soulful and filled with

understanding. When I went in,

a set of chimes rang above

my head. I was struck by

how warm and inviting

the store was, how alive

I felt within the confines

of its walls. I knew that

nothing could hurt me here.

Standing behind the counter

was the source of the light

the thrived around me.

She had a brilliant smile

and black hair that framed

her face in a riot of curls.

I blinked and, for a second,

thought I saw a being in front

of me like a lioness, staring

into me with bright yellow

eyes that saw everything.

I blinked and she was

the woman again. She

came towards me with

her hands held out.

“Hey stranger!”

I didn’t know how to

respond to her.

“Hello. Have we met before?”

She gave me a

wise look and I could

swear that her eyes

changed from blue to yellow

and back again.

“Oh, we’ve all met before. You look like a man in need.”

“In need of what?”

“We’re all in need of something. I sense that you need help with doubt.”

My breath was taken from me.

“How could you know that?”

She gave me another wise look.

“We’re all filled with doubt, some more than others. Some are easy to slay, others take a little bit more persuasion.”

I found myself nodding, knowing

that she knew what lived inside

of me, despite my best intentions.

“How do I do that? How do I slay them?”

Her eyes became yellow again

for a moment and I saw the

ears of a lioness poking through

her curly black hair. Then

she was herself again. I

wondered which face was

truly hers, the lady or the lioness,

or if they were one and the same?

“Doubts are like Dragons. You can’t slay them with swords or knifes though. You can only slay them with your will. It has to be strong.”

“It is strong. It is.”

I knew this. I knew this

with all of my heart.

“Then you must take that strength and use it. Envision your life, exactly as it should be. Do this every single day. Feel it, smell it, hear it.”

“Then the doubt dragons will leave?”

“Only if you envision them gone. Envision your life exactly as you want it. The Doubt Dragons will lose interest and fly away; but you have to let them go.”

I was silent for a moment,

knowing that she spoke

only the truth. Already

I felt a surge of warmth

inside me, knowing that

I was going to be okay.

“Thank you.”

She laughed and the

sound was like the wind chimes

that had been above the

door of the Lioness’ shop.

“Oh, don’t thank me. You’ve got to do all the work. I just put you on the right path.”

“Can I come and see you again?”

She took my hand then and

I felt her warmth. It was

like she embodied the sun.

“Come and see me anytime. I’ll be here.”

As I left the store, the wind chimes

sang again. Their music

made me think of angels

getting their wings. I

wondered if I had just

been given my own.

 

* For Heather, with my thanks and gratitude. You’re awesome. 

Before we entered

the forest, you

took my hand.

A shiver of

warmth spread through

me and I

heard a sound

on the wind

that was made

from a thousand

branches clattering together.

I looked at

the dark forest

and felt a

moment of trepidation.

You squeezed my

hand and pulled

me even closer.

Don’t be afraid. I’m with you.

I shook my

head, my voice

thick in my

throat. Finally, I

pushed it out.

I’ve already been here. This was part of my journey. I know this forest well.

You looked at

me with such

kindness, such warmth.

Now you don’t have to go through the forest alone. I’m beside you.

You started forward

and I followed.

As we approached

the first set

of trees, they

started to change.

The bark started

to shift, growing

more whole, their

pockmarks and cracks

repairing themselves, the

branches growing straighter,

reaching for the

sky. I watched

as leaves began

to bloom on

the branches, the

green bright against

the bark. You

pointed deeper into

the forest and

I saw that

all the trees

were healing, becoming

whole again, leaves

re-growing. I felt

a light growing

inside of me,

pulsing through me,

living inside of

me. I looked

at you and

even you seemed

brighter to me.

What did you do to me?

You did this yourself. You’ve grown anew, just like the trees.

You motioned to

the forest and

smiled at me.

Come on, let’s go deeper along the path, as far as we can go.

I’ve already been through here.

This is the same forest, true, but now you’ve found a way forward. Now we can go forward together.

You kissed me

then and I

heard the forest

make a sound

that was like

music. I listened

as a breeze ruffled

all the leaves

at once. It

was as if they

were voicing

their approval. I

entered deeper into

the forest, my

hand in yours,

looking around at

all the trees.

They had been

dark, empty husks

but were now

full of life.

I knew exactly

how they felt.

I squeezed your

hand tighter and

took comfort from

you, from your

touch, from the

love that flowed

from you to

me and back

again. I took

in all of

you and knew

that anything was

possible. There was

nothing to fear

in the trees.

There was only

the promise of

forever. I breathed

you in and

stepped with you,

further into the

forest.