Number-one bestselling author
With great change
comes uncertainty, that
moment where we
feel as if
we are balancing
on the edge
of a precipice.
We have but
two choices: to
stay where we
are or to
move forward, to
leap off of
that edge and
let the wind
take us where
it will. There
will come a
moment of clarity,
a bright shining
star in the
distance, held in
a tender, soft
embrace, the sky
cradling that star
like a child.
As you fall,
you also rise
up, high enough
to grab that
star, to take
hold of the
brightness that it
emanates. As you
hold the star
within your hand,
it brightens even
the darkest shadows
so that you
can see forever,
beyond and within.
The star beings
to fade, but
fear not for
it sinks into
your skin, to
brighten the light
that already shines
from within you.
You stepped off
of the edge,
uncertain and unsure
of what the
future would bring.
As you gently
alight upon the
ground, you are
changed, you are
whole. You are
a bright Warrior,
shining like the
sun.
When I look inside myself,
I see many things:
There is a pathway that runs
through a terrain
that twists and turns
over mountain dessert,
through meadows and glades,
and traces a finger over water
in the shape of a bridge.
It is never ending
and as I walk forwards along it,
sometimes I take a moment
to look behind me.
I see the mountains
that I have already climbed,
the cliffs that I have already scaled,
and the depths from which
I have climbed out of.
As I take in the steps
that I have already walked
and look onward to the ones
that I have yet to take,
I can hear a song that
rides upon the wind.
It sings to me,
to my Spirit.
There is something so pure
about the notes gracing my ears.
I begin walking onward,
moving forward towards
my future and the wonders
that it will hold.
The notes grow louder still.
They are the wind,
the sunshine on my face,
the sound of a cloud
as its shadow passes
over my face.
I stop walking,
only for a moment,
so that I can listen,
let the tune pull me along
so that I can walk farther.
I look down at the ground
as I’m walking.
I can feel the notes
through the soles of my feet.
They are the wind and the sun,
but they are also a beat
that moves me and makes me
want to keep walking.
I look back from where I’ve come
and I see that each step I’ve taken,
every single step,
if lit up like firefly,
glowing with its own light.
The beat is still going strong
and I can feel it in my feet,
in my lungs, in the tips of my fingers.
I can feel it in my chest,
and I realise that each note,
soft and lilting and so full of promise,
is my music.
It is the music of my journey.
I take a moment to listen
and I realise that the music
is coming from within me.
It is the music of my soul,
but more than that,
it is the song of my Spirit,
that bright force which guides me,
child and ancient all in one.
I stand there listening,
so many steps yet to come,
and I know that
I am home.
There are all kinds of death.
A job could end suddenly, a friendship could drift apart or perhaps a marriage falters. There is also the ending of a life; death happens all around us and all throughout our lives. How do you cope with such change an upheaval when the body and the mind want to float within the sea of shadows that is in all of us?
Thankfully, there is a light in the dark, a gift that we are being given, something we have to learn or something we can take away that will be for the better.
Brian D. Calhoun has written a book called The Gift Within the Darkness: Healing Insights, Heartfelt Stories and Techniques to Reconnect after Death that talks about this very subject. Here’s a bit about the book:
Have you recently experienced a death?
Are you still struggling after your loved one transitioned years ago?
Perhaps you have encountered a loss in another aspect of your life?
The Gift Within the Darkness is a unique and insightful view at the effects of loss on you and your life. Within these pages, you will discover how you can heal and reconnect after death, with a specific look at:
Understanding death with its varying disguises
How grief affects you in different ways
How to move past the pain to see and experience the gift
The bereavement process
How death can impact you and your life – long after loss
Healing and connecting with spirit
And more…
You too can get in touch with the energy contained within the soul, through the teachings, heartfelt stories, prayers and healing messages shared within this book.
Connect with your angels, guides, psychic abilities and energy bodies to learn how to channel these forces to reconnect with your heavenly loved ones to get your own messages, should you wish to.
The Gift Within the Darkness provides you with incredible insights about a world that is an enigma for many. Get your copy today and begin to unravel the mystery now!
Brian asked several others to contribute their stories for the book, to show that loss and death could happen at any time in our lives and how we chose to deal with it. When Brian asked me to write a piece for the book, I knew that I wanted to write about the end of my previous marriage and what it cost me; also, what I learned and gained in my healing.
I share it with you in hopes that it helps someone else. You can find it below. Make sure to get a copy of The Gift Within the Darkness at here:
And now, here is my piece from The Gift Within the Darkness:
Clearing Away the Smoke with Fire
My mind was a sea of fog.
Through the thick cloud I could hear nothing, see nothing, and feel nothing. My entire world was numb. Within that numbness appeared three words:
“You’re a failure.”
As I tried to go on with my life and attempted to find something good left within it, I walked through the fog that followed me everywhere. From within that fog came three words:
“You’re a failure.”
I lay within my fog. The last three words he had spoken to me repeated again and again inside my head.
“You’re a failure.”
I replayed every moment, everything that had been said, as my marriage crashed to pieces around me. I saw myself trying to catch the pieces in the air, but they were jagged crystal from a broken chalice that sliced through my hands until they erupted in blood. My palms looked as if they were covered with liquid rose petals.
I was like this for a few weeks. Until the papers came.
When they arrived, I didn’t know what they were. I felt a sense of unease as I stared at the official envelope. The plain rectangle screamed not to be opened, but I had to know. When I slid the envelope open and withdrew the papers, I saw Robert’s name.
Then I read through them, one sheet at a time.
They were divorce papers, the ones he didn’t even have the courage to hand me himself. I sat down, gutted, the walls moving around me as if the world itself was shaking. He had asked for the separation and I had given that to him. I had given him everything: my heart, my comfort, and my sanity.
I had given him everything and he had given me nothing in return.
I sat there, shaking, the papers trembling in my grasp. Then I looked at them again. He had not signed them. Both spots for the signatures remained empty. He had mailed me the papers to goad me into coming back to him, or just to upset me. It had the desired effect, but not the way that Robert hoped it would.
“You’re a coward,” I said out loud. My voice boomed in my small apartment. “You’re a coward, Robert. You’re a coward.”
I felt furious. A fire burned in me, bright and strong, and it cleared away the fog. It cleared away the fear. My sense of self returned to me, an awareness of me that hadn’t been there for years. I had sacrificed a lot of myself to my marriage and had let Robert cut away until I was but a shell of who I had been.
He had taken away my friends, who had stopped calling to talk to me. He had driven a wedge in between my parents and me. He had left me alone on an island within a marriage. At that moment, when I was at my lowest, I decided that I would never be alone again.
I would come to know myself once more, and I would start living my life, not just merely existing or wading through the fog. I wanted to engage with life, celebrate life, and truly live it. I would not let Robert’s last words be my own.
I began a journey that day, sitting in my dark apartment. I searched for the light in my life. Where there was none, I created light so that there would be no more darkness or mist. There would be no more shadows. I would finally take control of my own life, rather than let someone else control me.
I reconnected with friends, forged ahead in my writing career, and strengthened my relationship with my parents. I also stayed open to love and the possibility that there was love out there in the world for me—real, true love.
The separation had taken over my life, but now I could focus again on living. In the end, what had seemed like the most horrible thing to me at the time turned into a gift. I was no longer under someone else’s control, no longer in the dark.
What Robert had unknowingly given me has continued to give back. The death of my marriage had brought me a new life, a new existence. I was able to mend my chalice.
For that, I am eternally thankful.
The journey that
has become my
life has taken
me on many
twists and turns,
the path guiding
me over hills
and into gullies,
past gardens and
meadows that sat
alongside abandoned buildings,
their windows crushed
into glittering sand.
The journey that
has become my
life has led
me over oceans,
to the top
of the highest
mountain, through a
wasteland that was
filled with burnt
trees. It was
while climbing that
mountain that I
debated whether I
could go any
further, whether there
was a point
to the constant
journey, any purpose
in continuing a
journey that seemed
to get me
nowhere. I sat
at the top
of that mountain
and looked at
the world around
me, at the
water that flowed
through the earth,
intend on its
own path. The
sun was warm
on my face
and I felt
something fall into
place inside of
me, as if
it had been
waiting for that
moment of realization.
I sat there,
the sun warming
my skin, and
realized that I wasn’t
on a physical
journey. Looking around
me, I realized
that all these
different places, both
the lush gardens
and the shadowy
abandoned buildings covered
in diamond dust,
existed within me.
The journey that
I was on
was inside of
myself, as I
got to know
myself, and my
spirit, all over
again. As I
continue along my
path, I can’t help
but wonder what
sights I have
left to see.