Jamieson Wolf
Number-one bestselling author
On the Road of Yellow Brick – A Poem
She wakes within
the dream to
find herself in
an expanse of
green. A field
of grass stretching
for as far
as the eye
can see. Along
the grass, there
is a road
of bricks, coloured
in a bright
yellow hue. The
colour is impossibly
brilliant, as is
the green of
the grass. It
is as if
the colour here
is magnified by
the sun. She
looks up at
the sky and
sees a bright
orange sun, three
times as big
as the sun
she sees at
home. Looking down
at the road
of bricks again,
she sees a
man standing on
the path, smiling
at her in a
gentle sort of way.
“Where am I?”
She asks, uncertain.
“Well, where did you want to be?”
The man says.
He has dark
hair that looks
to be made
of leaves. He
shrugs and she
sees hay fall
out of the
collar of his shirt.
“It’s hard to know where you’re going if you don’t know where you are.”
She nods, even
though she has
no idea what
to say.
“I want my life back. I want it as it used to be.”
The straw man
gives her another
kind smile and
his words are
soft and comforting.
“Well now, I wouldn’t want that. If you went back to the way you used to be, you wouldn’t be who you are meant to be.”
She shook her
head, the uncertainty
deepening, the unease
she carries with
her in the
waking world alive.
“I don’t follow you. I just want to be normal again.”
The straw man
waves his hand.
“Pshaw! Normal. What is normal? Normal is boring. Normal is a bowl of porridge without brown sugar. Normal is what you want, but it’s not what you thirst for.”
She nodded, seeing
truth in his words.
“I suppose you’re right. I know I’m not like everyone else.”
“You’re special, Kimberlee. So very special. You have a light in you that shines brightly for all to see it. We are drawn to you like butterflies to the sun. You wouldn’t have that light if you were normal.”
The light that
he mentioned
begins to glow
from within her,
as if she is
carrying the sun
within her. She
watches the glow
intensify, even as
the light from
it makes the
road and the
straw man start
to fade away.
“Wait! What do I have to do? What can I do? How do I move forward?”
Even though the
man of straw
was fading from
sight, she could
see him smile.
“What you’ve always done. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep shining and keep living you life to the fullest. Everything else will fall into place. Trust yourself.”
“But why is it so difficult to do?”
“It’s always harder for people like us. You are a bright, beautiful spirit. You will find your way and then the journey on the road of yellow brick will become a joy instead of a hindrance. Trust yourself.”
He said again.
Then the light
that was glowing
from inside of
her grew even
brighter and she
knew the dream
would fade away.
But she knew
that when she
woke, she would
have a brighter
sense of self
and the life
that was hers.
And from that
she drew comfort.
She looked forward
to the next
step she would
take along the
road of yellow brick.
The Beginning of Goodbye – A Poem
I thought I
would feel sadness
or discontent. I
thought I would
be depressed or
sad that part
of my life
had ended here.
However, all I
experienced was a
sense of rightness,
the thrum of
gratification running though
my veins. I’m
not sure, but
I was probably
glowing. I got
the papers stamped
and paid my
fee. I expected
to feel sadness
but there was
only this overwhelming
sense of relief.
Too long I
have waited to
feel something other
than resentment or
despair when I
thought of him.
Now I was
filled only with
joy and peace
of my own making.
It was only
the first step,
but it is
that first step
that is the
most difficult,
the most frightening.
The first step
looks down from
a cliff, high
up in the
air. I had
two choices. I
could cower at
the top of
that cliff as
I had done
for years, or
I could take
the leap of
faith and trust
that my wings
would save me.
Instead of waiting
for him to
do the right
thing, I did
it myself. I
took the power
away from him
and made it my own.
My life is
mine to live
and I choose
to live it,
to embrace it,
whatever it may
bring. It is
the beginning of
goodbye for us,
but I’m so
much better without
him and will
be even better
when I’m not
carrying the shards
of what was
around with me.
Instead of carrying
those shards of
a chalice always
with me, I
take those shards
and fashion something
from them so
that rather than
cause me pain,
instead they capture
the sun, shining
light upon all
in my life
that is beautiful.
2015 in review
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog. It’s pretty cool to see how active this blog was in 2015!
Here’s an excerpt:
The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 32,000 times in 2015. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 12 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
Dear 2015
Dear 2015…
You rock! You were absolutely fantastic!
My New Years Resolution for 2015 was to live more and I certainly did that! What a year it was. It’s amazing to come to the end of another year and I can’t believe it’s over! Throughout the year I was blessed many times over and learned what I really could do and what I was capable of.
It was a year of change, of joy and pleasure. There were stumbles along the way, but mostly it was a year of growth and prosperity.
Let’s take a look back, shall we?
January
In January, my second book of poems was released! Talking with the Earth was far different from Talking to the Sky. In the first book, I was trying to deal with the Multiple Sclerosis and what my life meant now. In Talking with the Earth the themes were different. They dealt with acceptance and, thanks to Michael, with love-for him and for myself. I couldn’t be happier with how the collection turned out!
It also showed me how much love changes a person. Talking to the Sky was a little over 200 pages. Talking with the Earth was a little over 400 pages. Proof that love can move mountains.
February
In February, Michael and I made the decision to move in together and I gave my notice at the end of the month. While this might not seem like a big deal to some, to me it was the start of a whole new chapter in our relationship. The idea that we would build a home together was both wonderful and terrifying at the same time.
March
In March, Michael and I signed the lease for our new home. Even better? I had a follow up appointment with my neurologist and received the most amazing news: after almost two years of battling the MS, I had no new lesions! If that’s not a cause to celebrate, I don’t know what is! I was thrilled that all the work I had been doing to better myself (diet, exercise, Reiki and meditation) had paid off. Thus far, it’s the best appointment I’ve had!
April
April was a big month for me.
I walked the 5KM MS Walk! It was something I didn’t think I’d be able to do. I had walked the 3KM last year and that took a lot out of me. However, in April of last year, after the MS Walk, I decided to take on an exercise regime. The results paid off!
We walked 5KM in an hour and a half! Pretty darn awesome seeing as it took us an hour to walk 3KM the year before. Not only that, but as a team we raised $660 towards MS research and the hope to find a cure. It was awesome!
The day before the MS Walk, Michael and I finally moved in together! It took us the better part of the day, but it was all worth it to be able to wake up next to each other every morning. It was a dream come true to live and be with a man who loved me unconditionally. I felt like I was living the dream. Indeed, I still do.
Michael and I also celebrated our one year anniversary in April. It’s funny, it’s like I’ve known him forever, can’t imagine my life without him and our time together is timeless.
May
In may, I finished the first draft of Boy Friends, a novel I had worked on for over two years.
At first, I thought it would be a novella, but the story kept growing bigger and the characters kept growing more real to me. I thought it would be a little 10, 000 word story, but it ended up being over 61, 000 words.
It was a relief to have finished it but also a joy as, up until that point, I hadn’t ever written anything that long!
I also wrote a blog post on my blog and it went viral. Hundreds of thousands of people read it and I was even on the news because of it! Nothing I’ve written before or since was read by so many. It was even read on the radio, on riddit and all over social media.
I was very proud to have spoken out for someone who couldn’t speak for himself.
Check that out here: https://jamiesonwolfauthor.wordpress.com/2015/05/20/a-letter-to-oc-transpo/?fb_action_ids=10155516299850702&fb_action_types=news.publishes&fb_ref=pub-standard
June
I entered my novella in the Dear 2114 contest.
It didn’t win but the joy was in the writing of it for me. It’s actually one of my strongest pieces and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out. It started with an idea: “What if we could create art that actually spoke to us?” The story flowed from there.
You can read it free here: https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/41681164-what-the-moon-had-to-say-futurelibrary
I also got to meet one of my favourite medium/physics, Colette Baron Reid. She’s a glowing light of a spirit and I went to her show where she helped people speak to their departed loved ones.
It was an honour and a thrill to meet her and get my book signed. Such a fantastically moving experience.
Colette said I had really great energy and coming from her, that’s just awesome!
July
This month was spent writing and reveling in the gloriousness that is summer.
August
Michael took me to Niagara Falls for my birthday this year!
I’ve never been but it was so magical to see the Falls. They were so powerful and moving. I’ve never actually been, so it was a first for me. They were so moving and majestic, I can understand the draw they have.
What moved me most was that I was in one of the most romantic places in the world with the man I loved. When we walked along the falls, I noticed these locks all over the fence and asked Michael what they were for.
People who were married there placed a lock with their initials on the fence signifying a bond that would never break.
We went to a restaurant where the waiters sung happy birthday to us and there were fireworks at night over the falls. There were rainbows every day and it was as if the sky was telling us how happy it was for us.
So magical and I can’t wait to go back and place my own lock on the fence.
September
In September, I achieved another milestone of sorts. I reached the two year mark for my Copaxone medication.
Taking a daily injection might not seem like a cause for celebration, but it was for me. It marked another step on the path that I’m on towards good health and a healthier me. At first, taking Copaxone every day was a hindrance but now I know that it’s part of what is keeping me whole.
I also had the honour of having one of my poems chosen for Linguistic Duality Day at work. It was a bit nerve wracking knowing that everyone at work would be reading one of my poems, but it was very well received and everyone loved it. All that worry for nothing!
I also re-published my small book of fairy tales, When Love Blooms. I had thought that the collection was finished but I had written three new stories and it felt right to put the collection out again with the stories included.
So I did another edit and re-released the book. This collection of stories has to do with all types of love: gay, straight, interracial, love that has left, new love. It’s a collection that speaks to the heart, which seems appropriate, and I love how it grew from one story to a collection of them, all within the town of Inglewood Hamlet.
October 
October was reveling in the beauty of fall and watching the season change. I also realized my dream and finally became a Hogwarts student! Hey, it was bound to happen sometime.
It was just great to dress up and enjoy being a kid again!
November
In November, Michael and I went to Cuba!
We stayed for a week and it was amazing. Where Orlando and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter made my heart happy, Cuba made my soul happy.
It also put a lot of things into perspective for me. It showed me what really mattered, what was really important.
It was an incredible, wonderful vacation and I can’t wait to go back.
December 
This month, I put out my Holiday novella and couldn’t have been happier
with how it turned out! It started with the idea of “What is a young boy doesn’t believe in magic?”. I just took the idea and ran with it.
It turned out better than I could have hoped and I’m so thrilled with it. Eventually it will be available on Amazon, but you can download The Magic of Stars for free from my web site: http://www.jamiesonwolf.com
As we draw to the end of 2015, all I have to say is thank you. Thank you 2015 for being so incredibly and totally awesome.
Let’s do it again for 2016, shall we?
The Princess of Disks – A Poem
This is my last offering for Pay It Forward 2015! It’s a poem I’ve written for the lovely Erin Dowe, who is awesome and fabulous.
The Princess of Disks
When I first
met her, I
thought she was
a wood nymph.
She stood with
the sun at
her back so
that she glowed
a brilliant golden
colour. When she
spoke, it was
softly and with
a mischievous smile.
“I hear you like Bjork.”
She stepped forward
out of the
sunlight and, for
a moment, I
thought she held
a staff and
shield, that the
light from the
sun was actually
coming from her.
Then I blinked
my eyes and
the image was
gone. Throughout the
years though, that
image has returned,
time and time
again. She is
the epitome of
generosity and kindness,
always giving to
those that need
it. She is
considerate and kind,
oftentimes giving more
than she has.
More than that,
I have watched
as she creates
possibilities for herself,
as she ends
one cycle and
begins another one
anew. She directs
her power where
she needs to,
whether it be
to help others
or to lend
a hand whenever
one is needed.
Now, when I
think of her,
I see the
sun again, shining
so brightly and
brilliantly, that you
can’t help be
awed by it
and by her.
Buy Little Yellow Magnet from Amazon and Kobo!
Jamieson Wolf has written a compelling story about navigating multiple sclerosis and cerebral palsy. His story will touch your heart, make you cry, then laugh, and inspire you. A touching memoir with a bit of magic…and tarot! ~ Theresa Reed, author of The Tarot Coloring Book
Jamieson Wolf 