Sending Light – A Poem

It was a surpriseHealingHandsLight_2

to see her. She

looked at me and

the smile didn’t really

reach her eyes. She

told me how nice

it was to see me,

but the words fell

from her lips like

stones she was glad

to be rid of. She

asked me how I

was doing. I told

her that the appointment

went well, that I

had passed the baseline

they had set two

years ago, that I

was stronger than ever.

“I even stopped walking with the cane.”

I told her, proudly.

“Well that’s just great.”

It didn’t sound great

coming from her lips.

“Meanwhile, I’m looking at a wheelchair.”

I told her that

I owed her a

debt of thanks. She

had told me to

take on a regimen of

stretches and exercise, that

this would help the

fight against my body.

She smiled and it

looked as if it

were paining her to

to so. She let

out a throaty laugh.

“I see a physiotherapist and they give me exercises. But I’m a bad patient.”

We said our goodbyes

and I was glad

to be away from

her, from her gaze

that was filled with

steel and coldness. I

wanted to be out

of the line of

fire, at the daggers

she was shooting towards

me. I wondered if she

wanted me to be

as miserable as she

was. As I rode

home, I thought on

her behaviour. I couldn’t

fault her for it.

Indeed, I remembered how

It was for me,

deep within that dark

forest, alone with my

anger and hate at

what I had become.

I made the choice

to drag myself out

of the dark forest,

out of the shadows,

and into the light.

It was not an

easy choice to make.

Much as I hated

my life than, anger

is easier. So I

understood her vehemence, even

though I was no

longer that way myself.

So I did the

only thing I could

do. When I got

home, I sat for

a moment and pictured

a bright, shining light

that pulsed with energy.

Then I pushed that

light away from me

and sent it towards

her, hoping that when

it arrived, the light

would show her the

way out of her

own dark forest and

chase away her shadows.

Fearless by Michelle St. James – A Book Review

81SkGTzd+-LThere is an ache inside of Angelica Bondesan.

She knows where the ache comes from and what will cure it: Nico Vitalie. He brought her passion like she’s never known and touched not only her body but her soul. She knows what will soothe that ache, but she doesn’t know how she truly feels about Nico and what happened after she was kidnapped.

So she goes back to her small town to mourn the death of her father and be with her brother, thinking that Nico is behind her now. However, when she learns that the Vitale family is under attack. People are disappearing and some even end up dead.

Angelica knows that she has no choice. She goes back to Nico, unsure of how things stand between them, but knowing that standing by his side is the only thing she can do.

Things take a drastic turn when Dante, the one man who frightened her more than anything, takes her brother hostage. Her brother means more to her than anything else in the world. She knows she now has no choice. She has to become part of the mob world that she has shunned for so long.

However, time is running out. If they don’t find David, he might be taken from her too. Added to that, the passion between her and Nico is as white hot as ever and she has no choice but to give in to what her body, and her heart, want so very much…

After reading Fearless by Michelle St. James, I thought I knew what to expect in Lawless: hot passion and a thrilling plot. I got that and more. Michelle manages not only to up the ante but to deepen the level of passion between Angel and Nico, something I thought impossible.

It’s wonderful to see that she escapes the typical fate of the second book in a trilogy. Usually, the excitement has already happened and the middle book is a filler until we reach the last book so that it goes out with a big bang. Not so with Fearless.

What’s also really well done about this book is the strengthening of Angelica’s character. She goes from a woman who is afraid but resolute to what is going on around her to a woman who knows that she’s now involved whether she likes it or not. She accepts that she’s part of the mob world, knowing her life is different now.

Experiencing Angel come into her own and stand next to Nico was a wonderful thing. It made her character that much more believable, that much more amazing.

I can’t count the number of times I was reading this book and was clutching my copy in glee or nervousness. Michelle takes you on a white-knuckle ride that will leave you breathless.

More than all of that, though, is the deepening of the passion between Angel and Nico. It was on fire in Ruthless. Well, that passion has been taken up a few notches so now it’s an inferno. I marvel at her ability to create such amazing love scenes that it leaves even me hot under the collar.

With the cliff-hanger at the end of the book, I am salivating for the release of Lawless: Mob Boss Book Three in October! I can’t wait to read Fearless for a second time and experience all the passion and danger all over again!

Whichever Life – A Short Story

reincarnation

When they drove up the gravel pathway, the wind howled.

The complex sat atop a hill at the end of the path. Even from this distance away, it looked strangely foreboding. Jaxon reached over and squeezed Maxwell’s thigh. He put his hand on top of Jaxon’s and squeezed it in a reassuring manner.

“Are we sure this is the right thing to do?” Jaxon asked.

Maxwell gave a shrug of his shoulders. “What’s right anymore?”

There was a tiredness to his voice that hadn’t been there a few weeks ago. Jaxon knew where it was coming from, what had caused it. That didn’t make it easier to hear the resignation in Maxwell’s voice, however.

“There has to be another way. This isn’t our only option, you know.”

“What’s left? What other choices do we have?”

The complex grew larger the closer they got to it. It looked as if it had once been a ranch but that had been altered and changed, added to, until it looked more like a fortress. The gates opened when their car approached them and a calming woman’s voice said “Welcome. Please make your way indoors.”

Giving Maxwell a nervous look, Jaxon nodded even though no one was present in front of them. A place like this had cameras though, so there was someone watching.

They drove up to the front of the ranch house and got out of the car. Maxwell took Jaxon in his arms and spoke softly to him. “We don’t have to do this.”

“Didn’t you just say what other choices do we have?” Jaxon breathed in Maxwell’s scent, sandalwood and something deeper, spicier, that never failed to make his heart melt. “We’re here now. Let’s see this through.”

Maxell stepped back and Jaxon could see the determination in his face. He nodded and took Jaxon’s hand in his. Maxwell had given him strength before and he gave it to him now by clasping Jaxon’s hand in his own.

As they went up the stairs to the front entrance, the doors opened themselves, letting out a soft hiss of air. Jaxon and Maxwell stepped over the threshold and the door slid closed. Jaxon looked at Maxwell trying to quell the panic that was rising in his stomach when a voice called out to them.

“Welcome. So glad you could make it.” He held out his hands as if in prayer and walked towards them, smiling.

They turned to see a man walking towards them. He was tall and broad shouldered and had long white hair that fell past his shoulders. He had piercing blue eyes, so bright they looked as if they were filled with an internal light powered by a battery source.

When he reached Jaxon and Maxwell, he took Maxwell’s right hand and Jaxon’s left hand and clasped them together in both of his. “We will create something beautiful here tonight. I am Xander. Please follow me.”

Jaxon looked at Maxwell, his face filled with panic. Xander saw the look, unfortunately, and stopped walking.

“Jaxon, are you nervous about being here?”

“Yes, actually. It all sounds a little bit hokey for my taste.”

He gave him a laugh that made his eyes shine a bit brighter. “You won’t be a non-believer for long, Jaxon. You and Maxwell have made the right choice. The world has moved on and you and your lover will be a part of the new world order. Please follow me.”

They did, not having any other choice. Jaxon had watched the entrance and knew that the way out would be barred. They could not leave. They could only move forward. They did so into a room full of other couples, all standing in a circle. There was one part of the circle left empty and Jaxon knew it was for Maxwell and himself.

They took their spots and the chatter that had been filling the room died down until there was only quiet. Only then did their host speak.

“Welcome, all of you. You’ve all taken the first step towards something miraculous by coming here today. The first step involved trust and by arriving as you did, you all showed that you are worthy of the secrets I am going to share with you.”

He paused and looked at each of them in turn. When Jaxon felt his eyes pass over him, it felt as if he were being bathed in cold water. Beside him, Maxwell shivered and Jaxon knew he had experienced the same feeling. He took Maxwell’s hand. Just clasping it again gave him strength.

The room had walls done in a soft champagne hue and scones filled with white light interspersed throughout. It gave the room a soft glow that provided a comforting atmosphere, even if the leader of this group didn’t.

“I am Xander. You all know why you are here. You are all here to become, to find a new life, to grow beyond your spirit. I can help you do that.”

He started pacing in front of them. Though he spoke softly, his voice carried through the room and it sounded as if he were right next to Jaxon.

“The world has moved on. The only ones who are enjoying life, who are benefiting most from it, are those who are spiritually enlightened. Those who have move beyond their spirit and are beings of light. But the question is, how is this possible for you? That’s why you are here.”

The walls behind them slowly hummed. Jaxon saw that eight doors were actually appearing as the walls slid slowly upwards. Metal bed slid out of the openings and they were bathed in light. There were eight of them, four couples. “There’s one space for each of us.” Jaxon said.

Xander turned his blue light like eyes on him. “Yes, Jaxon. You already appear to be more enlightened than the rest.” He laughed a little at his joke though no one else joined in. “The secret to becoming further enlightened is reincarnation.”

One of the others spoke, a woman who was well into her forties with dark hair and a curvy figure. “Isn’t reincarnation when your soul is reborn in another body?”

Xander turned to her and Jaxon was thankful to have Xander’s eyes off of him. “Yes, Xaela. You’re correct. In this case, though, we are speeding up the process. Rather than die and be reborn, you will be reborn when your soul is transferred from one body to the next. It is giving your body and therefore your soul a clean slate, a new beginning. Isn’t that what all people wish for? A new beginning. Picture it. A body devoid of scars, a spirit with a new set of clothes. The world has moved on and this is the way forward.”

“Won’t it hurt?” This from a portly man standing in the room across from them.

“No Alexander, it won’t. There will be no pain. There will be only enlightenment. There is only one issue that you must be aware of. You will have no memories from your previous bodies. You take your spirit but leave your brain behind.”

Another woman raised her hand. “If we leave our brains behind, how do we remember things like driving, or doing our jobs? We can’t possibly relearn all of that.”

Xander let out another small laugh but still no one laughed with him. “Some things you don’t forget, Xeala. Some things are like riding a bike and the body will instinctively know how to do them. There are things we don’t forget, like past hurts or scars. What I’m giving you here is a chance to start over, to be reincarnated for a new beginning of your choosing. You can be whoever you want to be in your new bodies.”

Something occurred to Jaxon then, something important, so he spoke up despite his growing unease. “What about people? Will we remember everyone, will we be the same as we were?”

Xander took a moment before responding, almost as if he wanted to think of the right words. Finally, he answered with the only words he could. “You’ll be reincarnated into other bodies. You will not remember those you knew before.

Those in the room let out a small gasp and Jaxon’s hand tightened around Maxwells. When Jaxon looked at him, there was panic in them making them bright.

Xander continued speaking. “We have tried to think of a way past this process but part of reincarnation is having the new beginning that so many are searching for.”

“We won’t remember anyone? No one at all?” Another man spoke this time, a well-built man with grey hair and high cheek bones.

Turning to him, Xander held out his hands as if in prayer. “No, Xavier, you won’t. That is the joy of reincarnation and starting anew.”

He brought his hands together as if this answered everything. “Now, there are eight metal tables, one for each of you. You will be given a moment to say goodbye to the person you love the most and then the procedure will begin. I will return shortly.”

Xander walked out of the room and left them to themselves. A few people were already hugging their lover or wife or husband and crying. Jaxon could only look at Maxwell with wanting. He went to him and wrapped his arms around him.

“Are you sure this is the right thing to do?”

“It’s a chance to start over, Jaxon. A chance to begin again. It’s something that most people can only dream of and it’s being given to us. A chance to start over.”

Jaxon looked deep into Maxwell’s eyes and tried to convey what he was feeling with his spirit and his words. “My life already started all over again when I met you. I don’t want to lose you, I don’t want to forget you. I don’t want to start a new life without you by my side.”

A tear ran down Maxwell’s face and he kissed Jaxon, pulled him closer to him. “So did mine. My life began again when I met you. Our hearts will know each other, Jaxon, make no mistake. We will meet again.”

Jaxon went to say something else, anything to convey the sense of hopelessness he felt, but Xander walked back into the room and motioned to the metal tables. “It’s time. If you will all lie down on the metal tables, the procedure will begin.”

Giving Maxwell one final look, Jaxon approached his metal table and climbed on top of it, lying down on the cool surface. The others in the room did the same until every one of them were inside their chambers. There was the sound of calming music and Xander spoke one final time.

“When you awake, you will have left your old bodies behind and a new beginning will be upon you. I will come around and give you all the serum you need to reach further enlightenment and then your new lives begin.”

When Xander came to Jaxon, he looked down upon him, his blue eyes seeming to glow. “A new beginning awaits you, Jaxon.”

Jaxon said nothing and could only nod. He felt Xander pierce Jaxon’s neck with a needle and then there was only darkness fell into the bliss of nothingness.

*

When he woke, he was remade.

He knew his name, but that was all. Looking at himself in the mirror, he took in the new body. Having no memory of his old body, he had nothing to compare it to but it looked nice enough. He had been told that he would not remember anyone from his past but even so there was an ache as if something was missing. He felt as if there was a hole inside of him, even though this was a new body.

Jaxon wondered if it was his heart that was missing something, but then realized that he had left his old heart behind. Was the heart itself, the emotions it felt, housed instead inside the soul? Could that be why he felt so lost and lonely with someone he couldn’t really remember?

He dressed and went out of the room and found himself in a brightly lit circular room with champagne coloured walls. There were seven other people in the room and he watched them wandering around the room and wondered if they felt as if they had lost something too.

Then one of the seven was walking toward him. He was tall with blond hair and incredible eyes that Jaxon could see from across the room. He stopped in front of him and just looked at him. Then he spoke: “Hello Jaxon.”

It was as if a door were opening inside of him. His body was filled with emotions and feelings that had not been there before and a name kept repeating itself over and over. “Maxwell.”

His brain sent images to his heart and they were filled with every moment that Maxwell had spent together, every touch, every caress. Jaxon remembered everything about Maxwell.

“I can’t believe it’s you.” Jaxon said.

“Believe it.” He hugged him close. “I told you our hearts will know each other.”

“Does that mean that emotion isn’t stored in the heart or brain but in the soul itself? That everything we feel or experience is marked upon something we can’t even see or touch?”

Maxwell let out a loud laugh. “Who cares? Just kiss me, okay?”

Jaxon did, knowing that whatever came next, whichever life they were in, Maxwell would be beside him.

How Many Lifetimes – A Poem

I dreamed welight - energy being - life after death - soul

were in a

cabin. There was

a crowd of

other people and

those in charge

said to us:

“You will be reincarnated into other bodies. You will not remember those you knew before.”

I looked at

you and wondered

what it would

do to me

if I could

never see your

face again, never

hear your heart

beat. We knew

that the world

was changing and

this was the

only way forward.

Then the dream

skipped ahead and

I was in

a different body,

everything around me

foreign in this

new skin. I

heard a voice

speak out to me:

“Hello.”

I turned and

saw you. Though

you were in

a different body,

an unfamiliar skin,

your voice set

off fireworks inside

of me. I

looked at your

face and, though

it was not

the same, I

could see you

within it. Despite

their assurances that

we would not

know each other,

we did. As

you came closer

and ran your

finger along the

jaw of my

new face, I

wondered how many

lifetimes we had

lived through together

that we didn’t

remember and how

many more lifetimes

we had yet

to live.

Welcome to Inglewood Hamlet!

When Love Blooms New Cover
I have always loved fairy tales.

To me, they are the literary equivalent of magic. As a child, I gobbled up Hans Christian Anderson and The Brothers Grimm. There is something in fairy tales that is at once wonderful and thrilling.

The idea I had in the beginning was writing a collection of adult fairy tales about all kinds of love. Each of the stories in this collection focus on a different kind of love: gay, straight, transgendered, inter-racial, long distance love and love even after death.

There is always a lesson to be learned in fairy tales. But, more than that, they delve into the darkness of the human heart and spirit, and force the hero or heroine to confront the darkness that rests inside of them before they can have their happily ever after.

Like the love that inspired the stories, the stories themselves bloomed as I wrote them. I didn’t plot any of them and often surprised myself throughout the writing of them.

I had no intention to set a collection of stories in one particular location and thusly, the particulars of Inglewood Hamlet change and shift, like love itself.

When I wrote the first story, I had no idea that a whole collection would follow. What surprised me most was that I went back to Inglewood Hamlet. I thought I was done. I had written the original eleven stories in the collection, and that was it…right?

Earlier this year, I wrote a story for a fabulous friend of mine (hi Pam!!!) and I was surprised to find myself back in Inglewood Hamlet. I realized that I had missed it and that there were a few more stories to tell.

So I wrote two more after that, finishing off the character arc of one particular character. Namely myself but in fairy tale style and rounding off the collection with fourteen stories. Every good writer puts themselves into the story or novel in some way. This time, I was in my own fairy tale and that’s just awesome.

In the end, I realized something while writing this collection. Fairy tales are based on real life and magic does exist…if you keep your eyes open to see it.

Get your copy of When Love Blooms in ebook here:

http://www.amazon.com/When-Love-Blooms-Jamieson-Wolf-ebook/dp/B00A1QPKU8/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1441754937&sr=8-1

And get your copy of When Love Blooms in paperback here:

http://www.amazon.com/When-Love-Blooms-Jamieson-Wolf/dp/0991758013/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1441754937&sr=8-1

While the stories in When Love Blooms play loosely with fairy tale traditions, they do hold truths of all sorts within their words. Love is the greatest magic of all. So it’s my hope that with all the stories collected, their magic is tenfold.

Whatever you take away from them, I hope you enjoy them.