The Unknown Language of the Heart – A Poem

My heart washeart-on-hand

unable to speak.

It would look

at other people

in love and

wonder what they

were saying to

each other without

speaking. What kind

of unknown language

passed between them?

I despaired of

ever finding someone

who loved me

deeply enough to

speak without speaking,

to touch my

heart with a

simple caress. That

changed when I

met you. The

love between us

grew slowly, starting

as a seed

that was planted

in my heart

the moment we

first kissed. It

was nurtured with

every endearment and

each caress. When

the flower bloomed,

filling me completely,

I heard a

soft buzzing, felt

a throb of

vibration as my

heart began to

respond to yours.

Now, when you

touched me, it

was like you

touched my heart.

Now when you

spoke to me,

it was as

if you spoke

to my soul.

At first, I

was terrified. What

was this unknown

language? What did

it all mean?

You took my

face in your

hands and looked

right into me.

“Don’t be afraid.”

You said to

me. At those

words, my fear

fell away and

a series of

words I had

not known began

to show themselves

appearing as if

something was rubbed

away and the

words were there

the entire time.

All they needed

was someone to

help me see

them. Now when

you look at

me, the words

from the unknown

language become known

all over again.

All it took

was your love

to set the

words, and myself,

free.

Dead Letters – A Short Story

dead-letter-mailingEverything dies in the end. Even words. Poppy knew this better than anyone. She saw dead words every day. She was their mistress.

Even when she was sleeping, she would hear the words. Words that would never reach their intended, never be read. As she read the words, she mourned them. She tried to pace herself, one letter a day, one dead letter that got lost along the way.

Anything more than one letter and she would lose herself in the words, in the ink that stained her fingers. The ink tasted of dreams. She would open the letters, unsure of what was to come. Was it a letter, a bill for some unknown object? A postcard promising redemption?

Today, she wondered what she would find. She was supposed to dispose of them, that was her job. But she saved one each day instead. If she saved at least one dead letter a day, the words would find some way to live on. She pictured them living inside of her, thriving.

She entered the dead letter room, the light dim and glowing. She could hear the letters whispering to her when she entered. The whispering was like a music to her and Poppy wondered, not for the first time, if she was the only one who could hear it.

She turned up the lights so that it was brighter, more vibrant. Dead things should always have more light, not darkness and shadows. Darkness was for nightmares and things best left forgotten. Dead words, dead letters, needed light, not darkness, to be remembered.

Poppy looked at the letters waiting to be destroyed, waiting to have their life taken from them. She wondered which one to save. Today, the letter chose her. She reached out to pluck one out of the pile with her eyes closed. She liked to leave things to chance.

She was about to pull a letter out of the pile and heard a loud slap. One letter had fallen from the pile to land on the concrete floor. Opening her eyes, she saw that the envelope was newer; the envelope didn’t have many creases or marks on it. She bent to pick it up.

The envelope was heavy with words. She looked at the address. It read: To Cissy DeMile, The City of Abraham. There was no return address. Poppy held the envelope in her hands, ran her fingers over the words printed on the front. Who sent this to Cissy? Would the words live?

She turned the envelope over and opened it slowly. She liked to draw out the suspense, liked to draw out the revealing. It soothed her. She flicked back the flap and drew out a single printed page. Studying the paper, she saw a series of dark scratches of pen and ink.

The note was written on what looked to be an old invoice. The invoice was dated 1999 and it was from a Chinese food restaurant. The paper smelled of old grease and it was crumpled, as if someone had shoved the bill in their pocket. She turned the note over and began to read.

What she read chilled her. The words were written in fast block letters, as if it had been written quickly. As if time were scarce.The note said:

I AM INNOCENT. I DID NOT DO WHAT THEY SAID I DID. LET CISSY KNOW THAT. LET HER KNOW THAT I LOVE HER. I AM ABOUT TO DIE. THEY HAVE MOVED ME TO DEATH ROW. MY TIME IS ALMOST AT AN END. LET CISSY KNOW I LOVE HER AND THAT I AM INNOCENT. WHO EVER FINDS THIS. LET HER KNOW. WHO EVER FINDS THIS, PLEASE LET HER KNOW. CONTACT MY LAWYER AND TRY TO END THIS BEFORE THEY END ME. CECIL

The note scared her. Poppy had never read anything like it. Though the words were few, they frightened her. There was truth in them. There was pain in the words; desperation. They were dead words from a soon to be dead man. Poppy closed her eyes to calm her breathing.

Normally, words would move her. Never before had they frightened her. The truth is always frightening, she thought. The truth sees. Before she had a chance to think about what she was doing, she flicked on her computer and pulled up the white pages online.

She typed in the words “Cissy DeMile, City of Abraham” and pressed enter. She fully expected to get no hits on the name. She expected it. What she didn’t expect was to get a hit, just one hit. It read: CISSY DEMILE, 666 ELYSIAN WAY, CITY OF ABRAHAM, 333-3330. Poppy shivered.

She knew that she should just close the screen, pick another letter and start over, forget Cissy and her father. But she couldn’t. The truth in the words held her, pulled her in. Instead, she hit print and stared at the words in blank ink on the page.

The words, a woman’s name and address, seemed so threatening yet so innocent. She ran her fingers over the words, words no longer dead. Poppy was unable to concentrate. Work sped by in a blur. She kept seeing the woman’s name everywhere she looked. A name full of promise.

When she got home, she pulled off her shoes and grabbed a beer from her fridge. Her cat, mewed at her for attention. Poppy sighed. She knew that she would be unable to concentrate until she called Cissy. Until she passed on the dead words. She sighed again, tired.

How did you contact a stranger you didn’t know? She took the paper out of her pocket and looked at the number. Numbers had power too. Dialing the number, she held her breath. She hoped no one would answer so she could get on with her evening. It was not to be.

A woman answered with a soft voice. “Hello?” Her voice was like velvet. Poppy wondered how to continue. She was silent for a moment.

Poppy cleared her throat, tried to think of words to say. Words should be respected, chosen with care. Instead, she blurted them out. “Ms DeMille?” Her voice sounded shy, hesitant. “You don’t know me but I received a letter from your father.”

There was silence on the other end of the phone and for a moment, Poppy didn’t think Cissy had heard her. She spoke again: “Ms DeMille?”

Her words were stopped mid sentence. “I heard you.” Cissy said roughly. “I heard you loud and clear.” She sounded angry, upset. “You have five seconds to tell me who you are and why you’re calling me.” Cissy said. Poppy heard something that sounded like crying.

Even though she didn’t know her, Poppys heart went out to Cissy. “Ms. DeMille? I know that I have no business calling you, I know that-”

“Then why are you calling me?” Cissy sobbed openly now. “You have no right to call me about…my father.”

Poppy felt her heart break a little. A break that could not be healed with words. “I’m sorry,” she said. “Maybe if we could meet?” She knew that she was being foward, but Poppy felt this was important. She could feel it. “Maybe for coffee or something?” Poppy held her breath, waited.

“Coffee would be fine.” Cissy said eventually. “Meet me at Calebs Coffee at 3pm. Is that all right?”

Poppy nodded even though Cissy could not see her. “Yes, that’s fine. How will I know who you are?”

“I’ll find you.” Cissy said. She hung up leaving Poppy listening to silence. Shaking, she hung up the phone trying to calm herself.

She wondered why this was so important. She just knew it was. Words and numbers had power, she thought. Even dead words have power. Knowing that she couldn’t concentrate on work, Poppy grabbed her coat and headed into the sunshine. It was cold and the wind whispered.

She walked across the street towards the park, the sunshine inviting her to daydream. Poppy listened to the music of the cars rushing by. She was blinded momentarily by the sun. She turned her head away and blinked. When she opened her eyes, a man was standing before her. He hadn’t been there before. Poppy was sure of that. But people don’t appear out of thin air, do they?

“Sorry” she said. “I didn’t see you.” She held a hand to her beating heart. “You startled me.” She looked at his face, saw ice blue eyes.

The man smiled, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes. “You see more than you think.” His voice was deep and rumbled out of him.

Poppy feared this man. There was something in his eyes that said he had seen things she hadn’t. She moved back a step, wanting to keep space between them. He had dark hair and scruff on his chin. He was still smiling at her.

“Is there something you want?” Poppy asked. She wanted to be away from him. She wanted to think of what she would say to Cissy.

The man shook his head. “I only wanted to speak to you.” His voice was deep and it rumbled. “I wanted to warn you.” He smiled again.

Poppy was even more afraid. Her heart beat quickly inside of her chest and she wondered if he could hear it. “Warn me? Against what?”

“Ignore the letter.” the man said. “Do not get involved. You will put yourself at risk.” He pointed to her purse where the letter hid. “Burn the letter, dispose of it. Do not get involved. You seem nicer than the rest, then the others.” Each word came out like a slap in the face. Poppy took a further step back.

Poppy could barely speak, fear closing her throat. “Who are you?” She shielded her eyes from the sun which had grown brighter.

The man smiled again, the smile not reaching his eyes. “I am no one to be trifled with.” he said. Then, slowly, he bowed to her.

Poppy blinked, the sun blinding her. When she opened her eyes, he was gone. She felt a chill fill her skin and her heart beat quickly. She wondered, vaguely, whether words could cause harm. She wondered if the words she read could bring about the end of her own story.

Not wanting to be late, Poppy headed to Caleb’s Coffee to meet Cissy. She shook off the feeling of doom that covered her from head to toe. While she walked, she looked over her shoulder, wanting to make sure she wasn’t followed. The man had filled her with subtle unease.

“Ignore the letter…” she said this out loud if only to reassure herself that she hadn’t imagined the whole thing. What did that mean? She had little time to ponder this. When Caleb’s came into view, she saw a woman with blond hair standing by the entrance.

As Poppy approached, the nervousness increased. The woman turned and faced her. “Poppy?” she said. “Poppy Stone?”

Poppy nodded. “It’s nice to meet you, Cissy. I wish we could meet under more normal circumstances.”

Cissy laughed, her dark eyes flashing wildly in the sunlight like sapphires. “There is nothing normal about this. Nothing normal at all.” She rummaged in her purse. “Do you mind if I have a smoke?” Not waiting for an answer she lit a cigarette breathed deeply.

Poppy nodded, though it was not required. “I’m sorry about this. I shouldn’t have called you, I shouldn’t have-”

Cissy barked out a laugh. “No, what you should do is tell me how you got a letter from my dead father.”

Taking a deep breath, Poppy let it out. “I work in a dead letter room. Where unfound mail goes to die if no one claims it or it doesn’t reach the intended address.”

There was a sharp look in Cissy’s eyes. “Do you routinely open the letters?”

“We have to determine that there’s nothing of value in them. It’s procedure.”

“And do you normally contact the people who the letters were sent to?”

“If there’s an address, yes. Sometimes they have moved or can’t be found. Yours was odd though. There was no address.”

“So you looked me up on the web.” Cissy smiled. “Resourceful. I can respect that.”

Their waiter came and they both ordered tea. Poppy excused herself to go to the washroom. There was something odd about Cissy, something Poppy couldn’t put her finger on. She seemed unnecessarily angry, not quite the grieving daughter she had on the phone.

Slipping into the washroom, Poppy stood at the sink and rinsed her face with cold water. When she looked up at her face in the mirror, she stifled a scream. The man from earlier was standing behind her.

“How did you get in here?” Poppy said. “This is a woman’s washroom!”

“It’s too late for you, she has your scent now. She won’t let you go. She’s been quiet for so long, but people like her are always hungry for more.”

“What are you talking about?” Poppy whispered.

“My daughter.” He replied. “I’m talking about my daughter. ”

“The one you wrote the letter to? Cissy?”

He gave her a sad look, his eyes drooping for a moment before snapping back to look at he again. “I did not write that letter.”

“But you did, I’ve got it here-” She rummaged in her purse but he stopped her by speaking again.

“It doesn’t matter. They all look the same. That’s how she gets them, people like you, drawn to the mystery of it all. They always find a person willing to die. They always find her next victim.”

The words sent a shiver running down her spine and she looked at him in the mirror. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you’re almost out of time. She’ll come looking for you in a moment. Take the letter and get out of here. Destroy it, get rid of it, otherwise, she’ll find you.”

“How can she find me with a letter?”

“It’s not written with ink. It’s written in blood. She can smell it’s scent.”

Poppy pulled it out of her purse. She removed the envelope and examined the letters again. She saw they were a dark red instead of the black ink she had taken it to be. Shivering, Poppy looked back at the man in the mirror. “Can I destroy it here? Will she know?”

He nodded. “But she will not be able to find you.”

He took a lighter out of his pocket and held it out to her. Poppy turned but saw there was no one behind her. Turning back to the mirror, she saw that he still held out the lighter with its flame flickering brightly.

“What are you?” Poppy whispered.

“I am already dead. I was her first. She wrote the first batch of letters with my blood.” He looked behind him at the bathroom door. “Hurry now, you’re running out of time.”

“Why are you helping me?”

“Because you see more than you think you do. People like you are rare. Hold the letter up to the mirror, quickly now. Take your hands away as soon as it touches the glass.”

Poppy did as she was told. She touched the paper to mirror and took her hands away quickly as a flame licked across the paper. Soon, the paper was gone, but she could still see the words shining brightly on the mirror.

“Now run. Don’t look back and run.”

She didn’t need to be told twice As she ran out of the coffee shop, the screaming started. Poppy looked into the restaurant and saw Cissy, screaming with her skin on fire, burning as the letter had done.

Poppy ran out of Caleb’s Coffee, the sounds of Cissy’s screams and the sight of her burning skin following close behind her.

As she ran, she decided that she would call in sick tomorrow. She’d had enough of dead words and dead letters to last a lifetime.

We Are All Part of the Same House – A Poem

While I wasHouse-Slogans-hogwarts-house-rivalry-17817845-400-400

getting my coffee

this morning, I

noticed the barista

was wearing a

locket. Looking closer,

I read the

word “Slytherin” in

a flowing script.

Underneath, the serpent

that represented the

house was curled,

as if lying

in wait. I

pointed to it.

“Where did you get that?”

She looked at

me with shrewd

eyes as if

taking stock of

my worth. She

nodded, assessing me

as one who

was completely worthy.

“I got it at Comicon, but I’m sure there is an Etsy shop.”

I held up

my right wrist

and showed her

the scar that

was tattooed there.

She reached out

to touch it.

“Is it a real tattoo?”

I nodded, smiling.

Like recognizes like.

“What house are you in? Did you get sorted on Pottermore?”

I nodded, smiling.

“I was one of the first million people allowed to access the site.”

“So what house?”

“I got sorted into Ravenclaw, but I think I belong in Gryffindor.”

“Oh, no, you have to trust the Sorting Hat. It knows.”

“But I have the scar…”

She gave it

another hungry look.

“That’s a symbol for the whole series. It’s Harry’s story, right? But if the Sorting Hat and JK Rowling put you in Ravenclaw, that’s where you belong.”

I must have

looked put out

so she sang:

“Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, if you’ve a ready mind, where those of wit and learning, will always find their kind.”

I recognized the

song. It’s what

the Sorting Hat

first sung when

Harry was sorted.

She looked at

me with a

strong, searching look.

“Are you wise? Do you crave knowledge? Are you drawn to air? That’s the element associated with Ravenclaw, you know.”

Something occurred to

me and I

pointed to the

necklace she wore.

“Were you sorted into Slytherin?”

I asked her.

She nodded, a

spark lighting up

her eyes. They

looked as if

they were filled

with glitter magic.

“Yes, I was. I wasn’t happy about it at first, I wanted Gryffindor, everyone does. But we’re all parts of the same house, you know. However, it’s our differences that make us strong.”

I wasn’t sure

if she was

referring to Harry

Potter, or something

deeper than that.

I took my

coffee and bade

her a nice

day. She put

her hand out,

catching my wrist.

“Trust in the Sorting Hat. It knows where you belong. We all have to belong somewhere.”

I nodded and

made my way

to work. I

looked online for

a Ravenclaw necklace.

My acceptance of

my house within

the world of

Harry Potter was

a small thing,

but  at the

thought of stretching

my wings like

an eagle, and

soaring into the

air, my heart

soared with it

and I knew

where I belonged.

Living Words – A Poem

I woke one1660258386_f8ed1a472e_b1

morning with words

etched into my

skin. I tried to

read them in

mirror, but the

writing was backwards.

My friends noticed

the words and

asked why I

had tattooed myself

with just a

fraction of a

sentence. I woke

the next morning

to find the

words had doubled

on my skin,

snaking down the

inside of my

arm. I went

to the doctors

and they asked

why I had

marked myself with

words. They didn’t

understand when I

told them the

words had just

appeared there on

their own. They

sent me home

with a mild

sedative. When I

woke on the

third morning, I

found that both

my arms were

now covered in

looping black words.

I tried to

read them, attempted

to make sense

of what they

said, but I

could not see

all of the

words. Looking in

the mirror, I

saw they had

started to appear

along the back

of my neck.

My mother was

the one who

explained it to

me. She read

the words, running

her fingers along

some of them,

turning my arms

in order to

read others. She

looked at me.

“Don’t you recognize this?”

I shook my head

no. I shrugged.

“I haven’t been able to see all of them to read them. What does it say?”

“You should know. You wrote them.”

I was shocked.

“What do you mean?”

She pointed to

the words that

ran along the

inside of my

arm, then ran

her fingers along.

“As the cards flew from my grasp, I knew I had made the right decision. I was the Broken Man no longer.”

She paused for

breath, and to

point to another

set of words.

“And this here? These say: I had let a piece of my past go and looked forward to what the future would bring.”

I shook my head,

not knowing what

to say. My

mother took my

hands and held

them in hers.

“Your life is a living poem. A wonderful, exciting, awesome living poem.”

I wondered at

her words, at

what they meant.

What the words

on my skin

meant. She could

see my confusion.

“You put so much of yourself in your words, it is only natural that they will mark you even as you mark the page. Do not be afraid of them.”

“How do I get the words out of my skin?”

She looked at

me with a

half smile and

that wise look

she got in

her eyes, deep

and somehow comforting.

“Write. More words will come and you will always be marked by them, but you are a living poem. It has always been this way.”

I nodded and

pulled a piece

of paper towards

me. I put my

hand down on

the paper and

watched as the words

on my skin

began to slip

and slide off

of it. I

looked at the

page to see

what they had

to say.

People From My Past – A Poem

We were walkingdownload

back from the

coffee shop, drinks

in hand, when

I saw him.

I gestured to

her and made

sure she had

seen. I pointed

to him, saying

That’s my ex-husband.

It was the

first time I had

seen him in

six years. Later,

I wondered at

his appearance.

He was but

the latest in

a long line

of people from

my past that

I had seen

recently. I had

come across people

I used to know,

ex-boyfriends, ex-friends, ex-lovers.

I was wondering

at my lack

of a reaction,

at the absence

of anger that

I felt, that

had carried with

me for so

long. I had

worn my his

betrayal as if

it were a

hair shirt, or

a stone around

my neck. Instead

of reacting in

anger, I felt

oddly buoyant and

light. I walked

over to her

and asked her:

Why aren’t I reacting more? If this were last year, seeing him would have depressed me for the day. I’ve seen all these people from my past and they aren’t affecting me as I thought they would if I ever saw them again.

I paused for

breath and for

what I really

wanted to ask.

What gives?

She looked at

me with that

sage look in

her eyes that

she had and

smiled at me.

You were ready.

She said simply.

You’re a lot better now then you were. You’ve healed. You’re a different person now. You’re on the right path and you’re going where you need to. You wouldn’t be seeing them otherwise.

I nodded and

thought of all

the emotions that

these people had

caused me, all

the hurt, depression,

sadness, angst, rage,

despair and malaise.

I realised that

what I was

feeling right then

and there was

simple, unequivocal happiness.

I let go

of the pain,

of the heartache,

of the self-degradation,

and stopped judging

myself by how

other people from

my past had

seen me. All

that there was

now is me

as I chose

to be and

the emotion of

happiness. I choose

to be happy.

All the rest

is just stardust

and the possibilities

of the future.