Wishful Thinking – A Poem

I wished fordownload

what I thought

to be impossible.

I had been

mistreated and scorned

by love, so

instead, wished for

what I thought

was only a

flight of fancy.

I went out

into the garden,

the moonlight shining

on all of

the flowers, their

blooms moving gently

in the wind.

I worked methodically,

picking blooms from

all kinds of

flowers. There were

petals from all

sorts of flowers,

pieces of a

love I didn’t

think actually existed:

Freesia,

Daisies

Arbutus

Balsam

Forget Me Not

Globe Amaranth

Rose

Gathering some petals

from each flower,

I took them

back inside.

I ground all

the petals up

into a fine

powder, their colours

mingling with each

other until they

looked like nothing

but multi-coloured sand.

Going to the

front door, I

opened it to

find a strong

breeze had risen

up. I held out

the bowl of

powdered flower petals

and offered it

to the wind.

There were no

words I could

say, for how

did I put

into words that

which I thought

an impossible kind

of love, one

that I was

not destined for?

The wind took

the powder up

into its embrace

and carried it

away. I thought

that was it,

I was done.

Going back inside,

I let sleep

claim me and

was woken hours

later by a

knock at the

door. I sat

up, clutched the

blanket to my

chin. Slowly, I

stood up, my

feet shaky, unsure.

I made my

way to the

door and opened

it. The sunlight

shone around you

momentarily, like a

halo, as if

you were made

of the sun.

“Hello.”

You said. Your

voice was deep

and melodious. Something

inside of me

stirred at the

sound of it.

“What is that gorgeous scent? What is it?”

“It’s nothing, merely a wish.”

I tried to

keep my voice

nonchalant, not daring

to hope but

believing in hope

all the same.

“I’ve been dreaming of that scent. It’s what led me to you.”

When you came

closer to me

and wrapped your

arms around me,

a wind began

to rise up

around us. When

you put your

lips to mine,

the wind began

to shine, as

if all the

flower petals, the

pieces of them,

were reflective and

shone even brighter.

“I wished for you.”

You said. I

looked deep into

your eyes and

saw myself there.

“I guess wishes do come true.”

I replied and

kissed you again,

the sunlight growing

brighter, reflected off

of the power

of a wish.

 

* For Michael. 🙂

The ABC’s to Getting Published!

Workshop Poster

 

Hey Everyone!

Have you written a book? Fantastic!

Now what do you do with it? When I first started self-publishing some of my work, I had no idea what I was doing. I had no idea how to go about it. All the information I could find online about how to self-publish was lacking in some way. It gave no information on how to design a book cover and a lot of their other information was lacking.

So I learned the hard way: trial and error. My first self-published efforts were shoddy at best. My covers screamed self-published and the type setting and interior were horrendous.

More than that though, learning each step (ebook, paperback, hardcover) was a long learning process. I really had no idea what I was doing at first. Thankfully, over the years, I’ve learned what works and what doesn’t.

When I was asked by Planet Botanix to teach a workshop on self-publishing, I wondered how it fit into the other services they offer. Planet Botanix is a one stop health and wellness shop. It’s goal is to provide wellness in whatever form that takes and provide natural solutions for a complicated world.

Planet Botanix is all about finding the peace in your life and embracing the joy. In thinking about it, when I put my books out there, when I clicked that final “Publish” button, wasn’t I finding my own joy? Wasn’t it one way in which I found wellness?

If there’s one thing I have learned as a writer, it’s this: everyone has a story to tell and everyone has a book inside them. It might be a memoir, a novel, a thesis, a cook book. It may be a young adult novel or children’s book, a travel log or a book on meditation. The great thing about books is that they can contain any number of wonders.

However, when a person has written that book, what do they do with it? I found that a lot of self-publishing is really about trial and error. While I was writing the workshop, I wanted to take all of the trial and error out of the equation. Self-publishing should be a joy, not a trial.

Drawing upon my nearly twenty years of experience in writing and publishing, I designed a workshop that would lead people through every step of the way without all the guess work involved.

The ABC’s to Getting Published covers a variety of topics in six lessons:

* Establishing yourself as a publisher.

* Publishing an e Book.

* Publishing a paperback.

* Publishing a hardcover.

* How to establish an author brand.

* How to promote your book.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about publishing a book, it’s that the process involves more than writing it and getting the book out there. You have to reach out to potential readers and find a way to get yourself noticed in what has quickly become a veritable sea of books. How do you make yours stand out? How do you engage your readers?

I take away all the guess work and cover it all. The ABC’s to Getting Published takes place on June 21st and 22nd from 2pm to 5pm at Planet Botanix at 301 Bank Street. Each day will cover three of the lessons and you’ll walk away with the whole workshop printed for you to take away and refer to when you need it.

I’m thrilled to help other writers start on their path to becoming published authors. It’s the first step on the path to finding their joy.

You can register for the workshop by visiting Planet Botanix at 301 Bank Street or calling them at 613-567-4444. Payment is accepted via check, money order or via e bank transfer to jamiesonwolf@gmail.com

If you’ve written a book, I hope to see you there!

Focusing the Light – A Poem

downloadI went to a reshoot of my promotional video for The ABC’s to Getting Published. The camera man wanted to film me writing.

So I did whatever a writer does when offered a pen and paper: I wrote.

Here’s the poem I wrote while being filmed. I thought it would be cool if I typed it out so you can all read it.

Enjoy!

*

Once when I

was younger my

consciousness was broad

and far reaching.

It only saw

the bigger picture

and didn’t take

the time to

think about the

smaller joys that

life offered. It

was only concerned

with what I

would become rather

than what I

already was. I

was always on

the go, always

moving and never

still. It took

an event that

shook me to

the core, that

reshaped my body

and my soul

to draw my

vision into focus.

It narrowed the

wide beam of

light that flowed

from me, sharpened

it, gave it

more heat. Now

all I see

and all I

know is what

I am truly

capable of. My

consciousness is still

big, my desires

and dreams still

larger than life,

but they have

been given a

new purpose. I

am capable of

anything I set

my mind to

and all of

my dreams

are possible.

Ring Around the Rosie – A Short Story

20120820-Zombie-Car-Wash-2012-3325-HQRosemount Circle was a small island of houses in the centre of the city.  It was like living  inside of a postcard. All of the houses were different and some of them seemed to sprawl on forever. It was surrounded by a circle of roads that were normally full of cars or people walking their dogs or strolling with their children.

When we drove up to the road separating Rosemount Circle from the rest of the city, we saw a police woman, standing there in her yellow vest and black pants. She had sunglasses on and we could not see her eyes.

Standing in front of a road block, she motioned the cars in front of us to turn back. We couldn’t hear what she was saying. I turned to Mike in the drivers seat. “What’s going on?”

He shook his head, his face lined with confusion. “Fucked if I know.”

“Well, let’s see if we can get around, or they’ll let us through.” I said. I hadn’t hear anything about a road block and didn’t like this, not one bit. My intuition was sending spidey sense warning bells running down my spine.

The car in front of us tried to drive past the police woman and she yelled out: “Stop! Stop! Stop your fucking car!”

When the car did so, she withdrew her firearm and fired a shot through the window. The sound of the gun going off was like thunder. The inside of the car was covered in splatters of blood that looked like a Jackson Pollock painting.

I grabbed Mike’s arm. “Drive away, find another way out. There are other exits.” I tried to keep the panic out of my voice.

“Good idea.” His voice was low and tense. However, as he was driving away, we saw something move behind the police woman. It took a moment for me to realise that it was a mass of moving people. They were all running, whether towards or away from something I couldn’t tell; and I didn’t want to know.

Grabbing the wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white, Mike spun the wheel and drove slowly down the line of cars. One woman rolled down her window and waved at us. I rolled down my window and she did the same.

“You trying to find a way out?” She said. The same look of panic was in her eyes. It would be a look that I would come to see a lot in the days ahead, one that I’m sure I wore myself.

“Yes.” I said. “And as far away from that police woman as possible.”

“Don’t bother,” she said. “They have them posted at every exit to the rose circle.”

“What are they doing that for?” I asked her. “What are they trying to keep out?”

The woman rolled her eyes at me. “You should be asking what they’re keeping in.”

Mike grunted and made to drive away when the woman spoke again: “Oh my god.” She whispered this and we shouldn’t have been able to hear her, but the fear in her voice made it louder than it should have been.

I turned around and looked out the back windshield. The police woman had removed the roadblock and the runners began to flow into Rosemount Circle. They ignored the police woman and went straight to the other people in the cars.

The air became filled with the sound of screaming, of the jaw clenching sound of tearing metal.

“What the fuck are they?” The woman in the car next to us said. “What the hell?”

I undid my seat belt and turned around to get a closer look. They were runners, yes, but they didn’t look human. There was an animal quality to their movements that reminded me of something more primal, almost as if they were human once and had reduced to their base instincts.

I watched one of the runners reach into a car and pull the arm off of a bald man. He screamed and his voice sounded like an animal being slaughtered. In a way, that’s exactly what he was.

The runner began tearing strips of flesh from the man’s arm and the ground began to look like another abstract painting with drops of blood falling everywhere. There was the sound of more gun shots and the man screamed again as the Runner, done with his arm, reached into the car for the res of him.

The Runner pulled him out of the car and the man fell, cradling the place where his arm used to be. He screamed one final time as the Runner and a few of his friends, fell on the man and began to eat more of his flesh.

“Jesus fuck.” Mike said beside me.

There was a scream from the woman in the car beside us. I turned back to her to see another Runner, this one bigger than the one that had pulled the bald man from his car. This one was already reaching into the woman’s car and had her left wrist in his grasp.

She pulled off one of her high heels with her right hand and started hitting him with it. It lodged in his forehead, the heel buried to the hilt. Black blood oozed from the wound and he let out a menacing gutteral noise that sounded like lots of teeth clicking together all at once.

The woman looked at me, terror written in bold lines on her face. “What are you waiting for? Fucking drive! Drive away from here!”

I turned around in my seat and pulled on my seat belt as Mike rolled up the window. We were the only car facing the right way and we were able to get away quickly, the sound of screaming and more gun shots ringing out behind us.

As we drove, I put a hand on his leg. I could feel the muscle there, tense and taunt. “Where are we going to go? If they have the whole circle closed off, where can we go?”

Mike’s voice was grim when he answered me. “I don’t know.” He said.

We drove on into the darkness and wondered what the morning would bring.

The Power of Forgetting – A Poem

I was blindedfake smile

by the sun

and didn’t see

him until he

was walking next

to me. He smiled

and I was

struck by how

insincere it was.

Long time no see. How have you been?

I tried to

place him. I

had no idea

who he was

but he seemed

to know me.

Fine thanks. How about you?

He kept pace

with me. I

looked at his

face and tried

to place him,

to find a

name, tried to

find something familiar

in his facial

features. There was

nothing, no spark

of recognition. I

didn’t know him.

Life is good. My grandparents just got back from Paris. They always liked you.

Oh, that’s nice.

I still had

no idea who

he was, how

I had known

him. He smiled

falsely at me.

How’s your husband?

I don’t have a husband. I have a boyfriend and he’s lovely.

Oh, that’s nice.

He echoed my

words back at

me and the

entire conversation felt

all odd and

out of place.

I pointed across

the street with

a wave of

my hand. I

shrugged at him.

I’m going that way. Sorry.

That’s okay, I’m going this way. It was nice seeing you again.

Yeah, nice to see you.

The words weren’t

true, but they

felt more polite

than telling him

I didn’t know

who he was.

I walked on,

away from him

and his weird,

fake smile. It

was only hours

later that I

remembered who he

was and what

he had done

to me. I

had assumed that

I would always

remember him, that

I would never

forget him and

his cruelty. I

had carried those

memories with me

for a long

time. Too long.

I had forgotten

him, had forgotten

the shape of his

face, the contours

of his brow.

His face was

erased from my

memory and consciousness.

As I realized

that I had

forgotten who he

was, I also

let go of

who he had

been. I went

back out into

the sunshine and

felt a lot

brighter in body

mind and spirit.

I had let

a piece of

my past go

and looked

forward to what

the future would

bring.