Jamieson Wolf
Number-one bestselling author
Living Beyond the Waves – A Poem
I am within the waves.
They are filling my world with noise,
with a torrent of force that
sweeps me through life,
deciding my direction
and taking away my choice.
I go where they take me,
where the waters bring me.
I try to keep my head above water,
attempt to quiet the battle
happening within me and outside of me,
but the force of the water
and the war inside of me is too great.
I dig down deep inside myself
and find a seed of courage.
As I hold it, its warmth spreads through me,
and the noise of the waves softens.
It is as if I am inside of myself and
all I can hear is the hum of that seed,
all I can feel is its heat sliding up my arm.
I look through the waves and see land,
a terrain that I find unfamiliar and foreign.
I know that, even though it is unknown to me,
that it is my salvation. With all my might,
I swim towards that piece of land,
that sliver of green that I can see
through the deep blue of the waves.
The waves sense my growing courage
and they amplify their force,
strengthen their torrent until I am
all but lost under the waters.
Through the sliver of waves that I can see,
a hand appears and grasps mine.
I grab hold of it and let whoever
the hand belongs to pull me to safety.
I let the hand pull me further towards
the piece of land that I was able to glimpse
and it is as green as I had hoped,
full of vegetation and light.
I look to the person who saved me
and am astounded to be looking at myself.
I regard myself for a moment.
He is the me that I used to be.
He is pale from weakness and lack of sun,
but he offers me a smile.
“You looked like you could use some help”
He said.
I nodded and said “Thank you.”
“Thank yourself. You helped me, now it is my turn to help you.”
“I don’t understand.” I tell him.
My past self gives me a sage look.
“You don’t have to live amongst the waves. You can choose the direction of your life.”
I look back at the waves.
“Sometimes, I feel as if I’m drowning.”
“Then make another choice. Choose to live instead of merely surviving.”
I nod as if I comprehend. But then I say:
“I do pretty well but sometimes, I forget to do that.”
He takes my hand holding the seed of courage
and unfurls my fingers.
“When you forget how, use this. It’s what its for. Here…”
He takes the seed and pressed it into
palm of my hand. The heat increases
until my body is alight with the warmth and light
that I felt from the seed. I can feel it
swimming within me.
“Live beyond the waves.”
He whispers.
I turn to look at the waves
at the tumultuous embrace they promise.
When I turn back, he is gone from my sight
but I can feel him within me.
I turn my back on the sound of water
and instead turn to take in the land
that spreads before me. I take one step
and then another. I look up to the sky and
feel the warmth of the sunshine
echoed in that small seed of courage.
“I will live beyond the waves.”
I say and take another step
towards my future.
You Are… – A Poem
This poem is for my Writing Sister Kimberlee. I hope it give you light on your Birthday. Much love to you, Wolfie WB.
You are my Sister,
there is a bond between us
that goes deeper than blood.
You are a Warrior,
never buckling under pressure,
you fight the battle of your life.
You are an Angel,
one of those rare people
that live beyond their body.
You are a Light,
filling the world around you
with stars and the sun.
You are Kindness,
making the world a better place,
just by being in it.
You are Magic,
able to create visions out of
ink and paint so real they live.
You are Love
and everything that it stands for,
you redefine what love is.
You are part of me,
and you are part of my dreams.
I only hope that they inspire you
to live yours.
Dear 2016
Dear 2016.
First off, you totally rocked. I have been so fortunate and so blessed this year. In 2014, I my new year’s resolution was to live more and I’ve certainly kept that up! I’m so blessed to be living the life I have and equally blessed by everyone I have in my life.
This year was all about growth for me and deepening my interaction with the world. It certainly was a banner year and I got to see and do so much! I learned a lot about myself along the way and learned what I was truly capable of.
It was a hard year, though. We lost a lot of people this year, celebrities and otherwise. 2016 seemed to be a year written by George R. R. Martin or Stephen King. Though there were a few low points in the year, but that was counterbalanced by the amazing and wonderful things I got to experience and that the amazing people I know. I am truly blessed.
Ready to take a look back at 2016? Okay, lets go!
January
The time after Christmas is always hard, but I was comforted by the friends around me and Michael. I was also hard at work on the second book in what became the Lemonade trilogy! It’s amazing to me still that a little idea I had for a novella has grown into one book and has spawned a second, plus ideas for a third and fourth.
February
This month saw the publication of Dancing with the Flame, my third book of poetry. If Talking to the Sky was about finding my voice and Walking on the Earth was about deciding to engage with life again, Dancing with the Flame was all about falling in love with life again.
It was well received and I think it’s my strongest book of poems yet and I’m so proud of Dancing with the Flame. My poetry has touched so many lives, more than any other thing I’ve written.
March
March was spent waiting for Winter to be over and Spring to begin.
April
In April, Michael and I celebrated our second anniversary!
It’s hard to believe we’ve been together that long. I still feel like I met him last month. Even though we’ve travelled the world and I have the pictures to prove it, what Michael and I have together feels timeless.
I walked the MS Walk again this year! I managed to walk 5Km in just over an hour, a 10 minute improvement to last years walk. I’m so thankful for everyone that walked with me. Together, we raised close to $1000 to help end Multiple Sclerosis. I’m so proud of all of us. We all rock.
I also had my divorce party! I’ve waited seven years to be divorced from my ex-husband and it finally happened! How awesome is that? Here I am with my divorce cake.
May
This month was spent waiting for Summer to arrive and watching everything grow. The world was filled with sudden, bright colour.
June
I was thrilled to be asked to take part in Prose in the Park as part of their poetry event. It was a whole evening of different poets reciting their work.
This was the first time that I’ve read my poetry in public. It’s one thing having people read it off the page; it’s something else entirely. I was so nervous! Thankfully, it went well and the response from the other poets and the public was wonderful.
I hope I’m invited in 2017!
July
In July, Michael and I finally set up my office!
It’s the first time I’ve had one. I’ve always had my computer shoved into a corner somewhere. I can write anywhere. But Michael wanted me to have a room of my own where I could work on my writing and paintings and where I could do my workouts.
Well, in July we succeeded in turning the second bedroom into my office! I finally have a room of my own and my art hangs on the walls. It was a glorious moment for me and every time I walk in to the room, I am stunned.
August
For my Birthday this year, Michael took me to Los Angeles! I’ve never been and it was always a dream to go.
While we were there, we went to Disney Land and to the new Wizarding World of Harry Potter! The whole trip felt like some kind of dream and I am beyond grateful. We also went to Malibu and Santa Monica!
It truly was a magical trip!
September
On September 10th, 2016, Michael asked me to marry him.
We had been planning a commitment ceremony but Michael felt (rightly so!) that if we were going through all the motions and doing everything but getting married, we should just get married.
I was stunned when he asked me to marry him and could only kiss him. I hoped that with each kiss, I could communicate what I couldn’t find words to say.
Afterwards, Michael said “So is that a yes?”
“Yes.” I said. “Yes, yes, yes!”
I also had my latest appointment with my Neurologist. All my lesions have shrunk to the size of peas when before, they were the size of golf balls. They were also greyed out instead of brilliant, bright white. She took down all the information about what I’ve been doing to better myself (diet, exercise, Reiki, mediation, essential oils) in hopes that it will benefit someone else.
October
In October, I signed with Renaissance Press! They will be publishing Lust and Lemonade, the first book in the Lemonade books, in late Spring, early Summer, 2017. I couldn’t be happier with Renaissance Press and the treatment they are giving my book is beyond lovely. It feels like I’m part of a family and it’s like I’ve come home.
Here is everyone at this years Christmas party!
November
In November, we went to Cuba!
This year, we went to Veradero and took a daytrip to Havana. It was amazing, seeing buildings that have existed since the 1400’s, being surrounded by a different culture. It felt like stepping back in time.
And it was the first time I swam in the ocean! We got to ride in old style cars from the 1940’s and the 1950’s. The food was amazing and the people were wonderful. The whole vacation felt like time stood still and as if it would only begin again when we left.
I can’t wait to go back.
December
In December, I released my newest holiday novella called The Greatest Gift. This was a really special one for me in that it dealt with those that have passed still being with us. That though they aren’t in our lives anymore, they are still here in our hearts.
Here’s a bit about the novella:
Lincon is living inside of himself.
Having lost his partner Xander three years ago, on December 24th, he is a shell of his former self. His only comfort can be found in a circle of stone where he can hear Xander’s voice. His friend, Dava, tries to get him to engage with life again, telling him that Xander would have wanted him to be happy.
Lincon is content to live out the rest of his life by not living. What he needs is a miracle. That miracle comes in the form of an angel. Those we have loved are closer to us then we could even dream. Having watched his lover drift further inside himself, Xander knows he must do something, but what can he do?
Gabriel is the one that tells him to find someone for Lincon, someone who shines bright. If Xander should find someone, how does he make sure they meet?
Thankfully, miracles do happen at Christmas…
You can download your copy for FREE here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/687873
That’s the year long wrap up for 2016! I know that I am truly blessed and so very fortunate to be living the life I have. I can’t wait for 2017! It’s going to bring its own share of awesome!
Happy New Year everyone!
Free eBooks for the Holidays!
Happy Holidays!
If there is one thing I love about the Holidays, it’s the chance to sit down with a cup of tea and read the new books that I (hopefully!) get each year.
I thought it would be fun to give you all something to read this Holiday season! So I’ve made all of my Holiday novellas free for the Holidays!
Here’s a bit about each of them:
The Greatest Gift
Lincon is living inside of himself.
Having lost his partner Xander three years ago, on December 24th, he is a shell of his former self. His only comfort can be found in a circle of stone where he can hear Xander’s voice. His friend, Dava, tries to get him to engage with life again, telling him that Xander would have wanted him to be happy.
Lincon is content to live out the rest of his life by not living. What he needs is a miracle. That miracle comes in the form of an angel. Those we have loved are closer to us then we could even dream. Having watched his lover drift further inside himself, Xander knows he must do something, but what can he do?
Gabriel is the one that tells him to find someone for Lincon, someone who shines bright. If Xander should find someone, how does he make sure they meet?
Thankfully, miracles do happen at Christmas…
You can download this for free right now!
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/687873
The Magic of Stars
Oscar doesn’t believe in magic.
Though he lives in Inglewood Hamlet where magic is an everyday occurrence and his grandmother is the village miracle woman. Oscar still doesn’t believe in magic. Scientific facts are things that are proven, whereas magic has no quantifiable proof.
His whole world changes when one night, at his grandmothers urging, he wishes upon a falling star. “I wish I believed in magic…”
The next day, he meets a girl in the village named Laura. She seems unlike anyone he has ever met before. Even the snow seems to sparkle more around her. Though they have never met before, she seems to know him.
Little does Oscar know that Laura will change his life forever. Sometimes wishes do come true. It is Yuletide after all…
You can download this book for free right now!
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/691736
Yuletide Magic
Abigail Ivy hate Christmas.
Working as a elf in Santa’s village in her local mall, all she sees all day is rude parents, whiny children, mean people and foul shoppers. But her hatred of Christmas goes even deeper than that. Her heart is hard and cold around Christmas; it will need a bit of divine intervention to melt Abigail’s bah humbug heart.
That divine intervention arrives in the form of Clayton Jasper Riddell Greyhound the Fourth, an Angel on his yearly Holiday mission: to bring Holiday Joy and Cheer to one who needs it. He tells Abigail that he is her destiny. She thinks he’s a fruitcake. But fruitcake or not, Greyhound means to show Abigail the true joy of Christmas and the Holiday season.
Whether she likes it or not.
You can download this for free from Amazon from December 25th to December 30th
12
Oliver hates Christmas. He hates the fakery of it, the false joy that lifts everyone’s spirits. But only momentarily, only until the next box is opened, until the next piece of paper is torn away. But he is a true bringer of joy. In taking their lives, he is the giver of ultimate pleasure; and what better gift could there be for the Holidays than eternal bliss?
But this year is special. This year is 12.
Every year, for eleven years, Oliver has chosen twelve people, one person for each of the twelve days of Christmas. This year is 12. The final year. This year is personal. This is the year of the 12, payment for all of Oliver’s hard work. And he intends to collect. Eleven victims have already fallen-and Oliver has saved the best for last.
Merry Freaking Christmas. This year, there will be blood.
You can download this for free from Amazon from December 25th to December 30th
12+1
Lenore hates Christmas.
It was the season where her lust for blood began, where father Oliver led her on a path of killing and taking life-except he called it giving joy for the Holidays.
She has achieved some renown as a performance artist. What the art going public don’t know is that all of her “canvasses” die. She takes them all, the blood hunger Oliver woke in her all those years ago far too strong to ignore.
Hoping to fool Oliver, she intercepts him in the street and leads him back to her apartment, hoping to once and for all give her father the ultimate Christmas gift and end his reign of terror forever.
Lenore plans to kill her father and take back her life this Christmas Eve. However, Christmas has a few gifts planned for her that Lenore doesn’t count on and red, after all, is a colour of the Holidays…
You can download this book for free right now!
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/268006
Cleo and the Cats
Shortly before Christmas, Cleo is visited by a cat; it watches her as she sleeps from her bedroom window.
Cleo has the strange sense that the cat is watching her; more that it understands her when she speaks.
Soon, there is not one cat watching her but three.
To learn the secret of the cats, Cleo will have to learn there is still magic in the world.
Download this book for free right now!
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/20921
There’s something here for everyone. Whether you want magic, angels, miracles of something a bit darker, there is a Holiday Novella for everyone.
I hope that all of you and yours have the most wonderful of Holidays. Happy Hanukah, Merry Christmas, Happy Yule, Joyous Festivus. Whatever you celebrate, I hope you’re surrounded by the ones you love.
Jamieson
The Gift of You – A Poem
It seems like another lifetime
when I wished for you.
I remember that Christmas
where I sat alone after
spending time with my family.
My apartment was dark
except for the Christmas lights
that shone in the dark like
a thousand little stars.
My body was still healing,
still unknown to me,
I had yet to find my light again.
Though I should have been overjoyed
after receiving so many gifts,
I lamented what I didn’t have.
Turning inward, I tried to feel
my way along every crevice,
every hill and valley inside of me.
I tried to come to terms with
what my life was like now,
my body that held me so tightly
that I often found myself short of breath.
I ran a finger along my skin,
trying to see if I could feel
that which no one could see.
I looked into the lights,
shining like so many stars,
and imagined them as candles
burning brightly in the night sky.
I let out a deep breath and said:
“I wish for someone to love me as I am. I wish for someone to love me completely.”
I closed my eyes and imagined
that I could feel the stars
gently caressing my eyelids.
With my eyes closed,
the room seemed to grow brighter
as if giving me an answer to my wish.
Months later, when we met,
I remember the light that shone
above your head, as if you had a halo.
I was reminded of those Christmas lights,
shining like multi-coloured stars.
It was as if the light was telling me
that it was granting my wish,
as if it were giving me the gift of you.
Every time you ask me what I want
as a gift, I am befuddled.
I already have everything that I could need,
because I have you.
You truly are the greatest gift,
for you love all of me beyond all imagination.
My only hope is that you know
how much I value you,
how much I love you
and how thankful I am
that my wish was granted.
Buy Little Yellow Magnet from Amazon and Kobo!
Jamieson Wolf has written a compelling story about navigating multiple sclerosis and cerebral palsy. His story will touch your heart, make you cry, then laugh, and inspire you. A touching memoir with a bit of magic…and tarot! ~ Theresa Reed, author of The Tarot Coloring Book
Jamieson Wolf 